


The Language of Healing

by silasfinch



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 66,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: "BARTLETWhy? Did you and she never discuss...?ABBEYOh, no. There are some things that are outside even the mother-daughter bond,at least for us. Did you and she...?BARTLETWe always adhered to a strict "Don't ask, don't tell" policy; clung to it,actually.ABBEYShe is one's daughter. And she wants her to be happy in whatever.BARTLETOf course, true to herself.ABBEYThere's nothing wrong with that inclination.BARTLETNothing, whatsoever.ABBEYBut God Herself strike me dead, it is not to be denied that I am not unhappy that my daughter is straight after all.BARTLETAt least straight enough to be marrying the fruit fly guy."March 2021- Senator Layton IssuesWhat if the Bartlets were correct in their assumptions. Ellie Bartlet falls in love and seeks a relationship with another women. Can they turn abstract support into reality when hostile senators, Catholic organisations and the votors are having a say. Eleanor doesn’t want to be the public stage but its found her. Faith and Family are at stake.
Relationships: Ellie Bartlet/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 69





	1. The Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justdreaming88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justdreaming88/gifts).



> The West Wing is a show that means allot to me. I always found Ellie’s character to be a fascinating one and thought she deserves more screen time, especially after that fascinating conversation in 7x5. Lockdown restrictions was a good excuse to dust off the idea from years ago. 
> 
> This will be novel length (100,000 words approx). Season 4-7
> 
> Shout out to the West Wing Wikipedia – stand up job putting the canon details together and to justdreaming88 writing the fic that inspired this one. 
> 
> I am dyslexic please be gentle with spelling comments.

_"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." -James Baldwin_

_"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. Khalil Gibran_

"Oh God, please not now, any time but now" 

Unsurprisingly Ellie Bartlet's plea for mercy did not affect the rainbow wheel spinning in the middle of her computer screen. With a whimper of frustration, the blond research fellow watched as she carefully plotted analysis was inexplicably reverted to an earlier, completely useless version. The sound is usually loud in the library at this time of night, but Ellie still flinches when several people shoot her curious glances. 

Swiftly Ellie ran through her limited repertoire of IT solutions. She didn't have that many friends on campus, and none of them was computer experts, The department issue backup drive flashed a series of error messages before freezing completely. This data set was her responsibility, almost exclusively, so nobody else will have the latest version. 

Normally the 26-year-old was very proficient at not showing emotion in public. She may be hopeless at every other feature of political life (her small fundraising talk had famously caused Josh Lyman to rant for hours) but this self- preservation skill she could achieve. As Liz once sardonically commented, being a Bartlet child was a toss-up between being splashed across any number of tabloids or used as an amusing anecdote for the Ambassador to Sweden or the King of Bulgaria. Right along with the timetables, you learnt how to craft a neutral public mask.

Not today and with this problem. Dr Saxon was counting on these figures for a conference he was presenting at in two days. There were going to be several potential funders in attendance. 

Her latest attempt at a relationship had ended 8 hours ago with the usual fight- seeing too little of her to make the checkpoints and logistics planning worthwhile. The link wasn't going anywhere, but there was always was that slim hope that it would. His parting words about her priorities still stung. 

She was 40 minutes late for the reception-her dad's thinly veiled disappointments were already running through her head. Worst in this, her mother would agree, Uncle John rarely visited at this point in the cycle. Since the episode with Millie and the comments about Cannabis, Ellie does her best to stay out of the active political crosshairs. For most people, that event was centuries ago in comparison to some of the other scandals in the Bartlet Administration. Her father was planning on running again under the shadow of MS and the trial by the public. Ellie was never going to be the perfect daughter (Zoey), but there were certain duties she couldn't avoid. 

Agent Foster had moved conspicuously to the front of the long table. She was delaying all their careful planning and security checkpoints. Eleanor Bartlet is not a high priority target, but nothing was the same after the shooting, including the expectations of her agents. For the most part, Ellie tries to avoid acting like a spoiled brat looking to rebel against privilege. 

"Hey it looks like you are having quite a day, maybe I can help?"

Ellie was startled by the simple question but deeply relieved that her detail allowed the Good Samaritan through without a public grilling. The research lab is attached to a famous university; it's not especially uncommon for students to have shadows. The woman in question regards her and the agents calmly. 

Before she could offer her standard polite but dismissive refusal the unfamiliar woman slid into the seat closest to Ellie's research space and began scrutinising the error codes

***

Ellie watched with no small trepidation as her computer made an unfamiliar restart pattern. If this failed, her work would be set back weeks. Her position in the Bartlet family would rank somewhere near their Republican Great Aunt, who vehemently opposed her dad's place on microeconomics in developing nations. 

"Give it a few minutes, but it should reboot to your final analysis. Assuming that the ANCOVA test at 10:01 was when the crash happened?" 

"Yes. It froze at the crucial stage" Ellie confirmed hoarsely just barely remembering not to smudge the professionally applied makeup. 

"That happens sometimes, especially when you are working with large datasets. I'm Helena Miller by the way". Her saviour offers with a smile. 

"Eleanor Barlet" Ellie dutifully returns even though her identity is obvious in the formal 'white house' dress. 

As the computer restarted, Ellie focused her full attention on the other woman. All the Bartlet children have an inherent ability to read people and their possible threat levels. Unfortunately, Ellie makes a habit of running towards the trouble rather than away. She didn't get any covert reporter vibes of this woman though. For one thing but there were much better places to catch her than in front of the detail. Danny Concannon insists that she is not a soft target for ambitious reporters new to the beat, but Ellie doesn't believe him. 

Helena Miller was tall and willowy. Ellie clinically surmised a background in either dance or martial arts; her frame was too specifically toned for casual fitness. Long black hair hung loosely over a UCLA tee shirt and a faded leather jacket. Her table has a leaning tower of books on linguistics Ellie hasn't sent her around before, but that was a surprise. Zoey teases her about taking at least three years to connect with someone socially. 

Ellie was about to attempt an awkward conversation starter, wishing for once her brother in law the small talker was there, the screen came to lift instantly displaying the correct report. Not wanting to tempt fate Ellie quickly attached and sent the document to Professor Saxon. The knot of anxiety that was lodging in her chest starts to ease slightly. She vows to let Dad budger her into a chess game this evening, as thanks to the universe. He would end up correcting her pawn placement, but it might help to ease some of the tension. 

"Thank you so much. Your intervention has redeemed an unbearable day" she murmured gratefully offering Helena a quick smile. 

"I'm just glad I could help. You looked like you were able to declare war on some very important and expensive equipment in an equally expensive outfit. Must be one hell of a date." Helena replies easily 

"I wish. A family party" not technically a lie- her family was hosting this year Nobel Laureates reception after all.

"Which I'm guessing you needed to be at more than 20 minutes ago, Traffic is going to be brutal on your makeup if nothing else." Helena inquired with a sympathetic wince. 

"40 and my father is obsessed with punctuality, to be fair; sometimes, the world is ending. It's kind of hard to compete with that." 

The taller woman absently helped Ellie put away her textbooks and unplugged the laptop from the main wall behind her seat. Not for the first time she wishes that the Barrington charm was more evenly amongst Abby's daughters. As it was, she feels tongue-tied and shy around this woman. Hence the awkward joke about her dad's job when Helena hasn't even said a word. 

"Dr Bartlet we need to go now" there was no room for negotiation in Foster's voice. The flexibility her agents had reluctantly conceded to has limits. 

Ellie tensed, the sudden swarming of her secret service, always provoked this reaction, especially when she was trying to have a blessedly normal conversation. She loathes the spectacle but cannot resent the people who protect her family from countless threats. 

To her credit, Helena merely handed her the last textbook and smiled understandingly as Eleanor offered a hurried goodbye before quickly falling into step with her agents. It occurs to her, in the back of the car, that she had no way to contact the woman to thank her properly. However, that was a problem for another day when she wasn't already causing trouble for her father and delaying Andre's excellent desert. 

Ellie finds it sad that she spends the remaining 20 minutes trying to construct a list of safe topics that won't lead to her arguing with her father. Things were better since Millie intervened, but their conversations were never as free-flowing as his ones with Liz and Zoey. There is no way she can spare more than minimum for the second campaign which won't help. 

***

"There is a package for your Elie". 

Eleanor was surprised. Medical researchers kept odd hours to be sure, but it was rare to receive packages at close to midnight. If it was in the hands of Marco, the other researcher on Saxon team it had gone through the security channels already. Ellie will always feel a thrill of fear at the idea of mail, ever since Annie got that abortion doll threat, which went through channels as well. 

"Thanks, Marco"

Eleanor retreated to their cramped shared office. Immediately she had changed into her comfortable street clothes, almost groaning with relief when her feet were free of the painfully arched shoes. Predictably Professor Saxon had sent his reply immediately offering amendments and clarifications. Soon Eleanor was lost in the familiar ebb and flow of science. The stresses of the evening slowly eased. 

The team was getting close to something like a breakthrough in their research. Such work is almost sacrilegious when you are a medical researcher, but Dr Saxon can barely contain his excitement. Ellie isn't always avoiding the White House, sometimes work does truly get in the way. It's more than a little foolish (and unfair on her agents) to operate the ridiculous hours that she does but her brain is burning curiosity to get the answers. Fortunately, her core team of agents rotates easily enough, and Ron Butterfield doesn't seem to resent her role too much. 

Privately Ellie thinks that their thirst for knowledge is one of the things that she and her father have in common. While Jed Barlet wants to know everything about anything, her focus is narrow. There were times when she was younger when they could talk about the latest developments in science for hours. Ever since that stupid exam postponement, every interaction has weight and hidden meaning. Somehow she wishes they could go back a decade and talk about the stars and the promise of the Challenger. 

***

"Ellie, the White House is calling." 

Marco calls the comment from his position in the main lab. He still hadn't quite gotten over the novelty factor yet, but at least he wasn't bugging her for merchandise anymore. It took her months, but eventually, her colleagues were able to see past the family name to her qualification. 

"Tell them I'm running tests" she calls tiredly. 

Let her dad have the night to refine his anecdotes of disappointment. The dinner with Uncle John went surprisingly well, and there were no arguments or questions about Ellie's life choices. John Bartlet always was better at playing the peacemaker role, even if he couldn't succeed between their father and his brother. Ellie sometimes wonders if his devotion to the Bartlet Campaign, Administration and Library as a form of penance. 

If the call is truly important, her mother would call, playing the role of peacemaker. Over the years, mother and daughter have an entire dictionary of codes for representing the dutiful scion of a political family. Fortunately, Ellie can count on her mother not to misuse her trust. 

As she worked out a kink her neck, Eleanor suddenly remembered the mysterious package. Faintly curious she picks up the small square box and examines it closely. It bears none of the labs coding or that of affiliated universities or hospitals. It does have the telltale signs of a detailed security examination. 

Ellie hates that she finds that comforting, but she does. Inside is what she vaguely recognises as an external hard drive. A neatly handwritten note proclaims. 

_I hope you don't consider this too strange, but these are much sturdier for your type of work. I had a spare. Good Luck tonight. Please feel free to phone my office if you need any help in transferring the data. Yours, Helena Miller_

Ellie smiles broadly before quicky typing out a thank you note to her rescuer. One thing the Bartlet children were never allowed to be is lazy when it came to expressing gratitude. Her email is overly formal, but it conveys the tone and leaves the door open for further conversations. 

The agents privately wonder why 'Lab Coat' is smiling as she prepares to leave the office, and they are shocked when she spontaneously offers her schedule for the day on the ride home. They make a note to 'Helena Miller' to their protectee file. This interlude could be a one-off thing or the start of a friendship. Either way, Eleanor Barlet did not make companions easily. Any changes in her social landscape are worth noting, discreetly, of course. Despite her reputation as the 'difficult daughter' the members of Ellie's detail did their best to maintain her low profile. 

Fortunately, she seems less trouble than the guitarist with 36 piercings and liberal feelings about drug laws. 


	2. A Chance Taken

** Chapter Two ** :  ** A Chance Taken  **

“ Could I interest you in signing a petition to lobby against mining in the Alaskan Wildlife Reserves?”

“No” 

Normally the quick sharp dismissal was enough to dissuade college activist. In this case, the shadow obscuring her Organic Chemistry textbook didn’t disperse; she was forced to be more direct. Ellie avoids being actively hostile, but conversations like this make her feel awkward and harassed, especially when she can’t participate in anything but a superficial level. Liz is the expert at doing the right kind of activism, even though Doug has thoroughly bland policy ideas and hopes for the next election cycle. 

“I won’t take more than.” The annoying voice asks hopefully 

“This has been a really long if you could please just…” Ellie feels foolish, asking for compassion from a stranger. 

“Helena?” She queried softly

Helena nodded as she quickly retied her loose ponytail “Do you mind?” she asked, gesturing to the bench opposite where Eleanor was sitting. 

“Hi Eleanor, Darn I was hoping being a guest lecturer would reduce my chances of being recognoised in this get up. There is just no way to make forest green and neon orange work in my favour, is there?” there was a mixture of laugher and exasperation in the tone that the researcher instinctively liked. 

Eleanor felt her irritation give way to mild surprise as she recognised the dark-haired woman holding a clipboard and wearing a ‘ ** Save Our Planet ** ” cap. Helena is effortlessly graceful and confident, but few people could combine these colours without looking this side of ridiculous. The gossip mags that hound all the Bartlet Sisters (although Ellie is generally a lost) would have a field day. With a slight hesitation, Helena moves aside her textbooks and sits beside Ellie, nodding briefly at the agents who ignore her. 

“No not really. So, you aren’t rallying a protest movement for fun, then?” 

“No, this delight steams from my niece’s infatuation with the head of our local Green Peace chapter. I, being the pushover aunt, said I would help her acquire signatures so that she could, and I quote “bask in the glory that is Tom. I like to hope some level of environmental activism is slipping in between swooning over the youth leader.” Helena agrees with an easy smile. 

Ellie grinned, remembering some of Annie’s more exocentric efforts to get the attention of boys. A brief stint with purple hair had been particularly memorable for the official press photos. While having an older granddaughter to barely married parents was difficult for the staunchly catholic Barrington and Bartlet families. Still, Ellie enjoys playing the role of an aunt at a younger age. From the sounds of it, Helena might be in a similar boat, though with more freedom. Ellie can’t remember the last time she and Annie spent any meaningful time together. 

“I’m assuming you agreed before you found out about the uniform?” Ellie jokes lightly. 

“Oddly Sasha didn’t mention that part. Any issues with the external hard drive?” 

“No not at all. It seems to be far more stable” Ellie assures with a relieved sigh. 

“Thank you for the Swiss chocolate, they made midterm marking just about bearable. No mean feat when it comes to first years and their seemingly determined efforts to butcher multiple languages.” 

Ellie feels a surge of pleasure at knowing she manages the social interaction without messing up too badly. The pastries at the office was a whim. 

***

“You are a Professor of Linguistics at John Hopskins?” The middle Bartlet asked

Her secret service agents had offered to do a ‘light dossier”, but if there was anything, she hated more than the public life of politics it was that everybody in her life suddenly earned a black file. She abjectly refuses to read any of the information once Agent Foster is satisfied that there is nothing problematic waiting in the wings. Zoey faces enough drama when trying to support friends who get into trouble on campus. The last thing she wants is another disapproving summons to Pennsylvania Avenue. Her dad and their relationship are getting easier to handle. The peace is almost as fragile as Congresswomen’s Wyatt’s efforts at negotiating peace in Gaza. 

“Not really. I offered to teach for a semester when an old friend needed to take personal leave at short notice. My primary role is interpreting for NGOs with the occasional UN placement. In other words, I am language geek who gets paid to play with words.” Helena offers an old joke. 

“What are your language specialisations?” Ellie asks curiously 

“French and Spanish but I do speak Arabic and Farsi, which are skills in demand more frequently now” Helena replied her long fingers softly absently leafing there the packets of sugar on the table. 

“I am hoping to continue my postgraduate with refugee advocacy.” 

Eleanor felt the familiar surge of anxiety. She knew a decent amount about the Arabic Nations and in general terms, the profession of interoperating. Religious history is one of her Dad’s many pet interests, just the other day he had regaled her with the details of the 13th Century Map Charlie had found at a flea market. One of their few common grounds had been fondly recalling the family trip to Egypt and its surrounding territories. 

Anyone of the factoids she had a reluctant talent for retaining would have been an excellent conversation piece here. If only the words would get passed the lump in her throat. 

Everybody from Elocution Specialists to Joshua Lyman and CJ Craig had tried in vain to improve her conversational speaking. Abigail Bartlet had intervened firmly when her exasperated husband had suggested drugs and psychological interventions. 

_ “They can’t all be thespians Jeathro. In any event, two out of three should be enough for any man, even one with your obsession with all things oratory. Ellie isn’t Liz or Zoey Jed ”  _

_ “That much is perfectly clear.”  _

The overheard conversation had stung. Even her mother’s purchasing of the latest ‘Famous Five’ Book that she was saving her allowance for had resolved the knots of tension. Sometimes Ellie feels like her mom is constantly running interference for her husband and middle daughter. Eleanor blinked returning to the present with an embarrassed flush but her inattention with either unnoticed or ignored. 

“Personally, I would find any day involving texts on biochemistry and immunology to be truly exhausting but is there anything in particular that made today unique?” Helena asked, smiling ruefully. 

“Long Hours and looming deadlines. We are making significant progress, but the work is not without red tape and ethics requirements. ” Ellie said wearily. 

“Fair enough. Look, I have to pick up my niece in an hour. Would you be willing to save me from my apathetic environmentalism by having coffee with me?” Helena asked easily “I’ll throw in a Danish pastry for energy. You seem like you could use a break.

“That would be lovely” Ellie said smiling gracefully,

They stood and started walking casually in that direction. Ellie was suddenly acutely aware of long it had been since she had a truly casual drink with anyone who wasn’t either affiliated with The Bartlet Administration or had ambitions to be. The last person had been Hugo. Eleanor’s heart clenched painfully, more accurately than had been her belief at the time. He was able to conceal the motives behind the right mix of intellectual flattery and confidence. 

“I’ll order. What would you like?” Ellie asked through the sudden tightness in her throat. 

“Black coffee and a slice of carrot cake would be great” Helena handed over a $20 note and nodded when Ellie suggested they share some fries. 

Eleanor threaded her way to the front of the café. She didn’t need to turn around to know that Foster had subtly changed his position. In general, her detail approved of this location and her tendency to avoid the main campus hangouts. The upcoming midterms had heightened security concerns, so she was rarely without at least one agent with her in public places. 

Seeing Helena again lightens her heavy mood. Dr Saxon and the time have ridiculously high standards. Ellie can’t work inhuman hours to the end of this grant cycle and expect to make it to second-year research fellowship. Spending time with a new friend will benefit her mood and productivity in the long run. 

••

“So, do you have any other nieces or nephews?” Ellie asked as she placed their number in the middle of the table. 

“Yes Tarek, my brother has 4 children. Sasha is 14 Her current ambition is to be a ballet dancer. We are particularly close now that she is forming political opinions.”

These comments lead to a brief conversation about Helena’s family; she was the youngest of three children. Her parents were both civil engineers as was her brother. Her father was French, and her mother, Egyptian. They had immigrated to the USA from Paris when Helena was 10. Her sister was an inspiring writer, and they shared a natural affinity and love for language that made them especially close, despite a considerable age gap. 

The conversation flowed easily, and Ellie founded herself laughing delightedly at the older woman’s descriptions of her adventures in babysitting four kids simultaneously.

Ellie waited tensely for the reciprocal questions that would only be polite, but she always found challenging. What could she say that Helena, as an American citizen who was presumably not living under a rock didn’t already know? Was there anything remotely interesting left?” All Ellie does is work, housework and try to avoid disappointing her parents in public. 

“Is that Tabatha Fortis’s analysis of Howl?” Helena asked suddenly as she carefully scooped a forkful of icing while gesturing at the slimmest volume on the pile of texts. 

“Yes I love her” Ellie blinked in surprise at the change in topic.

“Oh, I do too. I think her writing resonates so deeply with me because of my experiences at refugee centres both here and abroad. I would have loved to have seen her preform but I was stationed in Leon during her last tour.” 

“I met her once. She is pretty fantastic in person” Ellie agreed, “she signed my copy of  _ illusions  _ and we talked for a while about my work with HPV” uncharacteristically Ellie didn’t immediately claim up when the accidental allusion her family slipped out. 

“What a privilege.”

“It was” Ellie when on to describe the reading and Tabatha’s witty commentary. 

Helena was enthralled only interrupting her to ask her for more details on the reading of her favourite poems. 

“I only wish I could have stayed longer” 

“Why didn’t you?”

“Some kid throws a rock at the window.” 

Helena looked at her blankly before comprehension dawned. However, Helena doesn’t look horrified or like she wants to ask more questions. 

“The security risk was deemed too high for you to remain.” 

Ellie nodded, trying not to wince or twitch. This comment was the first explicit reference to her position in 45 minutes, and she hoped it wouldn’t diminish a very pleasant conversation. 

“Your situation would I imagine, present a dizzying array of rewards and restrictions. The little insight I have gleaned from diplomatic postings daunted me.”

The words seemed sincere, and Ellie liked the matter of fact acknowledgement of the situation that didn’t seek or seemed particularly interested in detail. Indeed, Helena’s next question was about HPV and the current WHO projections. Ellie surprised herself with an animated description of her latest conference paper when cellophane blared to live with a tinny rendition of Bruce Springsteen. 

“Oh darn that will be Sasha” Helena exclaimed glancing at her watch “I was supposed to pick her up 20 minutes ago.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Helena waved a hand dismissively as she flipped open the cellophane and had a repaid conversion in what Ellie was able to recognise as French. She was irrationally pleased to have correctly guessed Helena’s faint accent. Which has seemed especially pronounced during certain words, including her name?

“No no your work is fascinating. I only wish I could stay longer.”

“but in doing so, you would eat up valuable ‘Tom Swooning” time?” Ellie asked playfully 

Helena nodded, but her expression turned suddenly grave. 

“Liston Eleanor. I am not at all shore of the protocol here, but would it be possible for us to have coffee again?” the nervousness was plain to see in the way Helena replaced her knife and fork with fastidious care. 

Eleanor felt a rush of excitement and apprehension. She was relieved to know she hadn’t misread the signs here. The open admiration and subtle email comments, her admittedly more than casual investigation had yielded that Helena was openly gay and ‘out’ on campus but largely unknown as she was a temp professor. 

A Medical Research Fellow asking about A Linguistics Professor couldn’t be done without attracting at least some speculation – their paths wouldn’t naturally, but she’d done it anyway. 

“Would you be wearing florescent orange and green?” Ellie asked with an oddly serious half-smile. ”

The safest thing would be to feign ignorance as Ellie had with Sarah and the handful of overtures and blatant propositions she had received in the past. 

“No politics and eco warrior uniform I think I can manage that” 

“Good I like to avoid politics on my dates or at least the first 6-12,” Eleanor said drily belaying the hammering of heart. 

Impulsively Eleanor reached over and grabbed the clipboard containing the petition. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I couldn’t sign these things. A member of the first family signing campaigns or more specifically ‘non sanctioned’ things has all sorts of ramifications but I do feel like I need to give your niece some compensation.” 

Quickly she scrawled ‘Emily Barrington” at the bottom of the last page. Noting with some relief that the pseudonym was amongst a ‘Fred Flintstone” and “Bette Rubble”. 

“Are you free this weekend? There is a fantastic coffee house not far from here, they do pretty decent poetry readings on Saturday night” Helena offered before scribbling hastily on the back of a card. 

“I’ll have to let you know…my plans haven’t been set” Ellie replied, she wasn’t about to say that she may be required to attend the reception for a democratic fundraiser, whose daughter was in medical school. 

Helena handed her the card.

“Here is my personal number and email. Ring me when you know for sure. It would be easy enough for us to have coffee on campus again if it is easier for you” Helena smiled shyly. 

“I really enjoy your company Doctor Bartlet,” she said while offering one of her brilliant smiles, which was made all the more so by the gap in her front teeth. 

“Thank you” Eleanor murmured flushing hotly “you too.”

Eleanor watched her retreating form, unable to keep from grinning broadly as she turned back to her textbooks. However improbable she swore she saw the ghost of a smile on Foster’s features as caught her eye as he spoke quietly to the relieving agent. 


	3. Narrative Structure

_ We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Brene Brown  _

The truth is Eleanor Emily Bartlet has no idea how to do this part. 

As the Bartlet daughter who famously wants nothing to do with the Democratic Party or politics in general, she avoids attracting attention wherever possible, including speculation about relationships. Her friendship circle include long-standing companions from school and fellow researchers. She has no particular desire to expand her core group with either romantic relationships or new friends. The fact that none of her previous boyfriends (and female crushes) were appropriate for Thanksgiving New Hampture was a major selling point, not a deterrent. There can be only one Charlie Young and Doug Weston is a family member by default. 

Ellie's interactions with Helena Miller feel entirely different. For one thing, there is no hidden agenda between their introduction, or Ellie isn't reacting to another clash with her family. To the best of her knowledge, Helena does not actively follow the Washington scene and spends more time out of the country than in it. In their conversations so far, HPV is mentioned more times than her status by a ratio of 10:1. While this could all be an elaborate ruse, Helena is too visible in academic circles to be a successful plant.

Her dilemma is simple and complex and at the same time. Ellie wants to spend time with Helena in a meaningful way. Her schedule is hectic with working for Dr Saxon and transiting Dr Lewis HPV project in the next few months. If there were any hope of seeing where this new connecting goes, she would need to quit playing the role of the black sheep. Ellie may feel like a Barrington through and through, but there is no escaping the name on her degree. Any venture of this nature will require cooperation and support. 

"Agent Foster, Can I ask you something?" 

"Of course, Dr Bartlet."

Gregory Foster is one of the longest-serving members of her detail and Ron Butterfield's first choice for her. He is calm, respectful and refuses to react if Ellie is having a bad dad and tries to 'runaway.' Their interactions are getting easier now that Ellie is a post-doc fellow with a set routine and schedule. If anybody is going to understand and respect her request, it will be Agent Foster. 

"If I want ot spend time with someone regularly and possibly in public, is there a way to do that while keeping their security and privacy a top priority?" Ellie asks quickly trying to summon her courage. 

"Yes Ma'am absolutely. There are ways that we can make public outings as minimally invasiable as possible, for both you and your companion. If you give the team some idea of likely locations and times when can do the work in advance. If you would like we can give Professor Miller an introduction to these guidelines too." He says the name casually. 

Ellie blinks in surprise but does not challenge his assumptions. Her social circles. There is a reason her call sign is Lab Coat, and most of the other options were variations. Ellie quickly outlines plans for coffee, movies and the occasional play. Foster doesn't object to anything, but he does ask time to check out venues in question. 

"Helena is a movie buff, so it's safe to assume I will be rectifying the gaps in my cinematic deficits. I'll let you know if when she gets back to me? I assume she 

Agent Foster nods gratefully before excusing himself to exchange the information with the central members of her detail. Ellie resolves to try and be nicer to these people. 

***

** STAGE I: Set Up and The Turning Point  **

Coffee on campus is an easy and local place to start. 

Ellie makes the unusual decision to finish on time the following Friday. Her experiments are progressing smoothly, and the intern is looking for some extra credit. She still feels strange leaving when everyone else does, and there is still daylight. However, Helena will be away visiting her brother and sister next month for at least a few weeks. It's worth making a few professional sacrifices for the time together. Dr Lewis is always insisting that his students have a lifetime to study but only one life to live, including with people outside the office. Ellie thinks Dr Lews and Jed Bartlet could be best friends. 

"I think we need to alternate between savoury and sweet options for these meetings. The carrot cake icing is something else, but I don't think my atories are entirely in agreement, Dr Bartlet." Helena jokes before taking a bite. 

"I promise not to rat you out to the American Medical Association. You should see the tubs of ice cream available at the Whitehouse. It's a wonder any of the staff pass the year physicals. Gus spends each visit conspiring to get down there. He has half of them around his little finger." Ellie said, splitting her scone. 

"I wouldn't blame him. Limitless icecream is my dream scenario, and I have over three decades on him. As it is my mother will be compensating by baking all my favourites from home. I am her nomadic child and she misses me fiercely."

"How is teaching going?" 

Helena proceeds to recount her most interesting trials and tribulations with her latest students. The hardest part is getting them to understand the basic premise of linguistics and how rigorous the field of study is, not simply a matter of language fluency. Ellie has similar frustrations with teaching people that HPV and the associated research does not have moral implications for the rest of society. 

"Did you ever learn a language? I know Zoey speaks Italian and Liz speaks French. Were you follwing your mother following mother around with jounior chemistry set?" Helena guesses with a teasingly. 

"That's the story that makes the rounds at parties. The truth is though for most of my life I could barely read out loud in English, even for a book report, much less pick up the intricacies of another language. If were in the land of  _ Harry Potter _ , I would be a disapointing squib in that regaurd, amongst others in family of extraverts." 

"Oh Eleanor, you are the furthermost thing from a Squib or anything attendant metaphors. Different from expectation does not mean deffective, even amongst a loving bosterious family, in some ways that's worse." 

Eleanor knows it is a risk to trust Helena, a near stranger, with her pain. However, she can't bring herself to regret the decision when somebody is in her corner. 

** STAGE 2: The New Situation **

Ellie feels like a fraud in a linguistic lecture. 

Helena is a popular lecture, and her class is almost full, but Ellie manages to sneak into the back with 5 minutes to spare. Nobody is paying much attention to the latecomers. Everybody is waiting for Helena to start with an excited whisper through the desks. Objectively speaking Linguistics can be dry to those who do not study the field. Ellie feels nervous watching Helena prepare to give her lecture. Teaching is something close to a nightmare for the middle Bartlet daughter. Ellie finds herself holding her breath when the lights dim and the presentation slides appear. 

"Language is the foundation on which many of the greatest events and mistakes in history occur. In this class, we are going to learn the fundamentals of Applied Linguistics and what produces and sustains communication. There are dozens of careers and specialities that come under this umbrella. We will learn about all of them to various degrees. The fundamental goal for this cause is learning why language and the correct usage is crucial in private interactions and those of international importance. " Helena begins striding, round the front of the classroom. 

Ellie will freely admit to attending this lecture so they could have more time together. 

Helena draws on some many examples, both historical and modern times about where language succeeds and what happens when they fail. Everything from the negotiation of treaties with ingenious populations to hilarious translation faults in marketing. She manages to keep talking without notes for close to two hours which Ellie would classify as a superhuman feat. After a lifetime of watching her parents public speak, Ellie can spot genuine skill and audience appreciation. Professor Miller's student evaluations must be legendary. It's a shame that Ellie wouldn't be able to fill one out. Her admiration is a little different from the students, though. 

"You were wonderful down there. I almost regret my laser focus on the sciences. Thank you for the invitation and checking all the exit routes in advance." Ellie says once the last students file out. 

"You are welcome and I'm glad you got an apperciation of languages beyond the strict comprehension of learning a second one. There is a whole feild at play not is not unlike your beloved viruses." Helena let them to the main. 

"Tell me how you make the connection over coffee?" Ellie instructs firmly. 

"As you wish, Dr Bartlet." Helena agrees teasingly quoting the movie. 

** STAGE III: Progress **

Helena Millier is a geek of the highest order, but the love of movies is another level. 

Ellie knows the great uniting factor of all the Bartlet sisters is an interest in the world and current events. She privately suspects that one of the reasons Doug struggles is that he doesn't have the same level of curiosity. One of her favourite things about hanging out with Helena is that she has the same passion for knowledge, even if she talks through the movies as her father. Movie dates at their respective apartments were a safe and low key alternative to worrying about security and how happy her agents will be. 

"What is it about movies that appeal to you so much, you don't seem to have a favourite genere?" Ellie asks curiously waving at the titles on the shelves. 

"I could tell you it's the escapism and glamour, but that's not wholly true. Being an immigrant family who was proud of our heritage, wasn't always easy for a geek who already knew she was different in other ways too—the American or Imigrainent dream conditional, usually on a whole host of assimilation. Movies have realitively simple narraritives that still have a profound impact."

"Do you miss Eygpt and your life there?" Ellie asks quietly

"Certainly, there are elements that make me fiercely homesick. However, for me, home is a tapestry of place. I was born in Cairo and developed my identity in many Arabic nations. Work has me spending plenty of time in Geneva and the UN. My niece and nephews are American, and my parents will retire here. Having so many strong foundation makes me confident, not that it didn't take me a few decades to get to this point." 

"Wow, that's a deeper reason than swooning over Audrey Hepburn, in any of her incarnations." 

"You have placed a lot of trust in me and my ability to keep your confidence in these unusual times. It's important to me that these things go both ways. Including the knowledge that I don't always live easily in this country." Helena explains with a gentle smile. 

"I trust you not to sell me out to the highest bidder, but my ramblings about HPV and medical modelling will not sell for much. Zoey dating a minor French aristorcrat." 

"Eleanor, I would never do that, no matter the compensation. Keeping confidences is a tenent of my role but also something of my person creed." 

"If I thought you would do anything, I wouldn't have signed your petition in the park. You'd be surprised how cheapy people will sell their intrigrety with enough doller signs in play." 

** STAGE IV: Complications and Higher Stakes **

They manage to have eight dates before the reality of her life affects their plans, which is something a winning streak. 

There are not the number of protests on the campus (miles away from Ellie's lab), but the social media presence is enough to worry Foster. Helena was originally taking her to see a black and white double feature at her favourite theatre. They were planning on sharing far too much popcorn and swooning over the Hollywood greats of the Golden Age. According to Helena, the term is largely arbitrary, but that doesn't mean the movies aren't wonderful. 

"I'm so sorry about this, I know tonight was the last night for the showing, you have endless trivia to regale for me?." Ellie apologies again as they follow the agents. 

"Don't worry about it. I have most of the titles on DVD, we can recreate the experience in a secure apartment building, with excellent vantage points for the team. Making popcorn is in the aunt's handbook. We'll have a great time." 

The words are sincere, and Ellie has no doubt they will have a great time, she spends most of her free time away from the public anyway. However, bitter experience tells her that there is a stark contrast between intellectually knowing what it means to date the president's daughter and the reality. Even Charlie and Zoey couldn't make the competing demands work, and he was already practically pre-approved as a potential son in law. They couldn't technically call it 'dating' or least that dating Ellie wants if they didn't confront the bizarre extremes of her. 

"These types of things are going to keep happening; Plans will change at the last minute, people will write horrible opinions in conservative rags. I need you to know that at least 12 people have more control over my schedule than I do, and only about half of them will care if it is your birthday. We are in a realitively dull period but soon the Bartlet Calander Choas will begin, midterms, campagin events, charity circuits. All this on top of me being a workaloic with poor social skills. " Ellie persists painfully clenching her hands nervously.

"I can't guarantee that all those things won't affect me or that I won't grow to resent the DNC gods of scheduling but I have a fairly high tolerance for disruption. Remember where a translator spends most of their working life. If this situatuibs becomes more problematic or disruptive we will talk about it." Helena replies seriously 

Ellie doesn't even flinch when Helena reaches and squeezes her hand. They are the back entrance of the building, waiting for the car to arrive. The chances that Ellie is in danger or low but its not within acceptable margins. She feels the tension and resentment ease with the other woman's calm acceptance. The burdens of being a Barlet feel a little lighter. Some people may speculate about the nature of the relationship, but at that moment, it doesn't matter. 

** STAGE V: The Aftermath **

Helena is charmingly nervous about cooking dinner for her. 

Ellie tries to insist that they can order takeout after a long day. Her date for the evening wouldn't hear a word against a home-cooked meal representing her Eygpton roots—the mixture of species heavy and enticing. Ellie can't remember the last time her meals weren't earlier take at her desk or ridiculous political meals. From her travels in the region, she knows the name of some dishes but none of the distinguishing features. Helena is calm and efficient in the kitchen, but she asks Ellie at least twice if she has preferences with rice. 

"Everything tastes wonderful. Direct me to the plates and I'll set the table."

The first ten minutes are mostly silent as Ellie appreciates each offering and the history behind the meal both regionally and to Helena's family. If she is 100% honest, the rice is a little burn; the spice ratio isn't quite right. The effort still means everything considering the conversation they will need to have the evening. Comfort food is the perfect start to watch may turn out to be a difficult conversation. A couple of pages of Danny Cancanon's book about her mother references the long line of crucial Bartlet dinners. This one doesn't mean nearly as much as meeting the King of Sweden, but it will define Ellie's happiness for a while. 

"If we were to go public with the fact we are dating, with the all the securtiny and judgement. I need to know what there is to find. For the entire gaurntlet form friendly reporters like Danny and Republican surrogates, It'll be the top of the news cycle for a while. " 

Helena is quiet for a long while, carefully cutting and chewing her remaining dinner before turning to give Ellie her full attention. There is no nervousness or panic in her gaze, careful consideration and speculation. As if Ellie were offering an especially unique take on a standard essay question. 

"Aside from the obvious facts that I am a queer, imigrant woman who lives most aspects of her life open?" 

"Aside from that, I'm going to need details."

"This could take while, unlike your family, I don't have Pulizer Prize womon journalists, achieving my history.

"We have the time and plenty of wine. 

Helena begins the stories, and they make Ellie smile. 

** *** **

Ellie knew she couldn't keep her depending relationship with Helena a secret forever. 

However, the novel factor is in this particular situation is that she wasn't expending any energy to hide or antagonise either the White House or her Dad. Both she and Helena were extremely busy with their respective responsibilities and enjoyed the small snatches of time that are available. Reactions to their situation are the furthest thing from Ellie's mind, especially when she is cooperating fully with her detail and any security briefings. Helena is extremely respectful of the requirements and doesn't say a word when Foster changes the itinerary. Her experiences in Eygpt and surrounding countries make Helena extremely conscious of security and diplomatic protocols. 

Therefore some of Ellie's favourite times are when they work together in her apartment, the only sound the click of rapid typing and paper rustling. Ellie normally resents when her agents ask her to stay inside but having a lockin buddy is turning out to fun. Helena is even more academic than Ellie in her field. Ellie likes the idea that this particular Sunday was shaping up to ordinary between them, even if her mom is in the background on TV, talking about healthcare. When the door to her flat opens she is more surprised than annoyed, only two people have those keys. 

"Dad insists that scientists can't live of ideals and knowledge alone. There was Latin in there too, but I tune out after the first or second Galileo reference. I come barring Chilli, Soup and instructions about family dinner..." 

Elizabeth Bartlet Weston trails off when she sees that two people are sitting in her sisters' dining room, papers spend out between them. She ways slight awkwardly before closing the door and rearranging the bags. Ellie does her best to remember her sister's schedules, and to the best of her knowledge, Liz is working from home while Doug finalises his political plans. 

"Hey, what are you doing here? Isn't Annie angling for the starring role in the play this season? Ellie asks, moving over to hug her sister. 

"Doug wants to have a preliminary meeting with the DNC Chapter. It was a perfect excuse to come down and drag you away from the books, didn't realise you have company though." 

Ellie marvels as Liz moves towards Helena, was an outstretched hand and a broad smile. Ellie may not agree with Doug on 80% of policies, but there is no denying that her older sister has the makings of a perfect political wife. Why she doesn't run for herself is still a source of some mystery and discontent in the Bartlet ranks. Ellie would normally disagree with the whole "Doug isn't good enough and treats her badly." thing, but he isn't, and he does treat her appalling. 

"Hi, I'm Liz, Ellie's sister and the bringrer of too much food." 

"Helena. Ellie and I are sharing the joys of administration and paperwork for our respective offices. The grant application season can be brutal on the less senior staff members. Speaking for myself, any donitions of food are graefully accepted." 

Ellie watches are Liz rounds the kitchen dishing up plates and putting away supplies and catching Ellie up the latest with Annie and Gus, deciding that if Helena is her weekend buddy than she is ok to receive this information. Liz `and Zoe are the only people that now that Ellie is bisexual. The tearful confession in her dorm room was surprisingly cathartic, and Zoey stays with her for the next two days so that she didn't sulk. Liz is more pragmatic and understands how tough this road will be. However, her support is no less genuine. 

It won't take much for the oldest Bartlet daughter to put the pieces together. However, the three sisters have a silent understanding that they will keep secrets for each and running inference. There are only so many times a person can casually mention a visiting linguistics professor with arising suspicion. Liz will be ringing her tonight for a long chat, complete with grilling for details and descriptions. Her sister will probably get her minions to compile a dossier of opposition research. 

For once in her life, Ellie doesn't mind the scrutiny and trusts Helena to win them over. 


	4. Opposition Research Of The Self

For in the sciences the authority of thousands of opinions is not worth as much as one tiny spark of reason in an individual man. Besides, the modern observations deprive all former writers of any authority, since if they had seen what we see, they would have judged as we judge." 

― Galileo Galilei , Frammenti e lettere

Helena Miller is doing the sensible thing and giving her space. 

On an intellectual level, Ellie knows that they couldn't exist in an academic safe space forever. The last few weeks were a heady mixture of friendship and intimacy, but the real world has to intrude at some point. Helena is going to visit her family for ten days now that the semester is over. Ellie resolves to do the same, spending time with Elizabeth while she is in town. At least that's the theory. Ellie didn’t mean to end up crying in her oldest sister's arms. The pressure of keeping everything together is catching up with her. 

Elizabeth Bartlet Westin doesn't waste any time with useless platitudes. She cradles Ellie and brushes her hair, it feels almost like old times with their Mom, not Abigail Bartlet, First Lady of The United States. Ellie may resent the Bartlet name, but Ellie could never condemn the comfort these bonds offer. It's a challenge to keep the two aspects separate, but Ellie resolves to try harder, especially if she was seriously considering such a public declaration. 

"The cavalry is here..." Liz whispers against her hair. 

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, the phrase 'Ellie needs us' is nowhere near enough information, that could mean anything from bad boyfriends to out of control botulinum toxin." Zoey fumes as enters the room. 

"Well you know that if it were a 'Dad Thing' or a "Whitehouse Drama', the agents would be giving you a debrief in the car," Liz argues, gesturing her sister over. 

Ellie cannot help but smile when she hears the fierce protectiveness in Zoey's voice. She is confident that her youngest sister would badger way through any obstacle in her path. The youngest Bartlet sister is looking around the room as waiting for a physical threat to appear. It reminds Ellie of when kids would bully her in high school but wouldn't try the same trick twice with another Bartlet on the campus. 

"You know I don't work with Botulism or anything else deadly. The closest equivalent in Dr Lewis's lab is the loss of data." Ellie points out reasonably.

Zoey hugs her fiercely wiping away the tears that Ellie doesn't realise she is shedding. Now that there is no immediate danger to fight against Zoey is happy to wait for an explanation. Her sisters are the only two people that do not especially frustrate with her inability to articulate her thoughts easily. Jed and Abbey Bartlet are cyclones of charisma, charm and outward confidence; a shy introverted daughter baffles them. 

"I met someone and I  _ really  _ like her." 

Ellie is looking at her lap and hiding behind her hair, in the way her father hates. Her cheeks are flushing painfully hot, and she can't bear to look up and see judgement. Zoey lets her hide for approximately 30 seconds (generous by sibling standards) before she tugs insistently on Ellie's hand to get her attention. Sometimes Ellie feels like the younger sister, Zoey is the brave Bartlet. 

"I love you, you will always be my sister, and I reserve the right to grill your new girlfriend with a million questions. There will be chilli and possible input from Annie if she is here." Zoey reiterates every world in a slow and even voice. 

"We're not dating per se" Ellie starts to protest.

"The fact that you want to date anyone is enough. It may not work out after 4th or 5th date but you, Eleanor Emily Bartlet, are not going to miss the opportunity to find out because of our father's job." Liz fires back the light of the competition in her eyes. 

***

There are many reasons that Helena isn't a suitable girlfriend for the president's daughter. The woman in question is the first person to catalogue them. 

_ " As I said before, I was not a particularly happy teenager, and some enterprising reporter would find essays and opinions that would not reflect patriotic American immigrant. It wouldn't take a particularly radical conservative to make assumptions.” _

Ellie doesn't get a chance to miss Helena too much. Her missing friend sends long and detailed texts every other day. These messages quickly become the highlight of Ellie's nights. For some strange reason, Helena insists on doing opposition research on herself. Their time apart somehow evolves into a longer version of that final question Ellie asks at the movie night.

Ellie knows from the time when her Dad was Governor of New Hampshire how problematic the opinions of an unhappy teenager could be. Everything from foods to flags could offend someone. She skims through the essays that Helena sends through, surprised by the quality if not the material itself. There are plenty of familiar themes, and nothing that is blatantly 'un-American.' Merely a fairly stinging rebuke of trade and sanction policies that came into effect during Helena's youth. Helena would most likely survive even Toby Ziegler’s brand of extensive vetting. 

One of the central questions is - how long would a bisexual first daughter hold the attention of the public. Would the security of Helena's past positions be dangerous for either her father or Helena? The Bartlet Administration prides itself on balancing the narratives of many competing interests. Still, they were already running low on friends since the MS Scandal and several stinging defeats in the House. 

Ellie isn't quite geeky enough to write an actual Pros and Cons List. Still, she puts the idea that Helena is willing to debate and discuss her opinions as a positive attribute rather than a deficit. Her father needs another sparring partner. 

_ *** _

_ "My faith in God is a weak and fragile thing, beset with doubts, and did not always sustain me through the worst times. I was so proud of your father when he stood up to Dr Jacabs and her brand of conservatism. Voting for his second term was an easy decision, but I envy the Bartlet unshakable faith in the underlying principles of the Bible and not the words.” _

Ellie smiles sadly at the words for a certain percentage of the religious right; there will be nothing that Helena can say that will prove she is a woman of faith. Unlike the tests in the Bible, Mary Marsh and her crowd would denounce her three sentences into the briefing notes. Her father always walks a fine line when talking to the faithful, the threat to Annie and Dr Jacobs were obvious threats, not the rule. 

Progressive and Reformist religious doctrine hold an unusual place in 'mainstream' theology. Elle can't tell from this confession if Helena is more concerned about facing the Bartlet family priest or Jed Bartlet and his encyclopedic knowledge of all this scripture. Either concern is perfectly valid when contemplating a relationship in the public eye. 

Her dad likes to say that God has enough power to withstand a little scrutiny and differing opinion on scripture and the technicalities. One of the things he is most proud of is working consistently to bring people of many faiths together. Ellie doesn't think genuine doubts and a personal quest for conviction should be a negative characteristic. If Ellie has a figure in the Bible, it would be Doubting Thomas, always looking for evidence. No everyone can claim Shibboleth with absolute conviction. 

***

" _ I was married for a while in a foolish effort to replicate my brother's happiness. The marriage was over in less than a year and there was little acrimony. Andrew and I remain on civil terms, but such detail could be a source of speculation." _

Ellie feels no temptation to look at the intelligence her secret service has on Helena or her ex-husband. While the idea of the proudly gay woman marrying a man is surprising, the pressure to conform is not something to underestimate. In so many ways going along with the family, the consensus is comforting and soothing, if no ultimately right for the individual. From the way Helena speaks about her family, it's clear she adores them and wanting to take that next 'logical' step could be deeply appealing. 

"Millie, can I ask you something personal?" 

"Of course, Ellie, you should know that." 

Ellie and her Godmother have lunch at least twice a month, depending on respective schedules. Their relationship becomes even closer since the minor scandal with medical marijuana. Ellie still firmly believes that Millie had every right to express that opinion. Millie refuses to be the source of more conflict between father and daughter, trying to explain things from all sides. 

"Was it hard living a divorced woman surrounded by so many famous Catholics and well my parents? I know the separation was amicable but were you worried about what everybody would think?" Ellie rushes the question out on one breath. 

"Of course. For a long time, your parents were our favourite double date partners. Fixing a marriage and working to make things better means a lot to the Bartlet family. Your paternal grandfather was a terrible example, but his sons do the best they can. Jed and Abbey were some of my strongest supports. Why do you ask such a thing? It was all over long before you returned from London even." Millie asks more curious than angry. 

"I am never going to follow the exact path that they want for us like their daughters, guess I want to know from the perspective of somebody who is still on the Bartlet Christmas List." Ellie tries to deflect vaguely

Millie scrutinises her for a long moment before answering. Ellie suspects that her godmother and mentor suspect she is either gay or bisexual. However, Millie wouldn't dream of prying into her private life or reporting make to her oldest friends. There is a level of confidentiality that is unspoken but still very real. 

_ " _ Your parents may be more accepting than you give them credit for Ellie. Don't assume everything will be a battle before saying a word." Millie advises reaching to pour another cup of tea. 

__

_ *** _

_ "I am not proud of the person I become after the divorce and the period of self-discovery. Personal growth is not an excuse to treat people poorly and disregard their feelings. I have done my best to make amends for the most careless actions but not entirely successfully. People who hate this White House will find willing witnesses." _

Ellie can feel the raw pain in words, but she can also relate to them. Her relationship track record is a mess of disappointments and close calls. Other peoples plain were last on her list of priorities as well. It was hard to live up to the ideals of the 'Jed and Abbey - I will no longer be priest' Love Story. The only saving grace for Ellie is that most of her boyfriends and female admirers in the past have enough to lose that they don't want CJ Cregg on their tail. 

There is tremendous pressure on the child of any man (or hopefully woman) who even thinks about running for office. Jed Bartlet ran as the outsider education candidate, but nobody denies the underlying ambition. The pressure extends to who First Children date as well. Helena is aware that she wouldn't fit the traditional mold, and at 36, has enough baggage to draw attention. She cares enough to try and get ahead of the story and gift Ellie in the facts before they decide to date in the traditional sense and not behind closed doors. 

"You look a million miles away Ellie, is everything ok?" Marco asks from across the staffroom. 

Ordinarily, Ellie would bristle at such an intrusive question. She and Marco were friendly colleagues with a passion for the work but little else in common. At the same time, she spends the majority of her day in his company and knows little about the man. Maybe it is worth starting a conversation. 

_ *** _

" _ I have definite opinions on topics Moderate Democrats, and your father, in particular, would prefer to remain neutral about; I publicly and personally stand behind these positions _ _ in debates _ _ , I'm definitely on the Roy Ashland side of liberal. There is plenty of evidence from my student activism days."  _

Ellie has to laugh at that because most of the younger generation of Bartlet’s are more progressive than centrist father and uncle. It's one of the reasons she stays off the campaign trail for so long. Denying positions is easy if nobody asks you about them in the first place. 

Elizabeth Bartlet Westin is a frustrated Senator or CEO. 

While Ellie may not entirely agree with her father's heavy-handed approach to pushing his children to succeed, she understands his mix feelings with Liz. Liz embodies all the best features of both the Bartlet's and Barrington’s. She is what the country hopes for when they think of second-generation politicians and political families. There is no problem that she isn't willing to tackle or try and solve head-on. The marriage to Doug Westin is functional but far from fulfilling at least from the outside. Ellie feels a strange mixture of emotion, having all that energy focusing on her. 

"Ok so your professor has done the modern equivalent of having her cards on the tables, giving you a tickbox for Yes and No. I'm guessing that the baseline question is a mote point at this stage?" Liz asks teasingly between mouthfuls of chilli. 

"You only met her the once and we spent most of that time boring you with conversation about data modelling and databases, was I that obvious?" Ellie asks worriedly. 

"Please, Science is your Love Language. You were always going to woo  _ someone  _ with your impressive grasp of the Scientific Method and viral loading experience. " Liz brushes away the comment with her free hand. 

The more concerning question that none of the sisters talks about is when will the metaphorical storm break. Ellie has a reputation as the reclusive daughter, and playing the game of fronting is not her strength. They are gearing up to the primary challenge and re-election campaigns. A First Daughter having a same-sex relationship will be big news in certain socially conservative circles in both the House and Senate. 

"I think you are going to have to talk to somebody about the political angle, Ellie. We can only be here for you as sisters, you need people who know how spin the commentary. For Helena's privacy is nothing else." 

***

It would be more romantic to meet Helena at the airport with flowers. 

Ellie Bartlet has no particular love for romantic comedies, but there is something to be said for people that can make cute declarations on Post It Notes or make spontaneous gestures. Even if she wanted to defy her Secret Service detail, an airport is far too exposed. Agent Foster does his best to remain unobtrusive, and Ellie genuinely likes the man. There is no way she wants anybody on this detail facing any of the security that Ron Butterfield and the whole division did after the shooting. Besides, the only person more stressed out about the potential danger would be Helena herself. 

Instead, she does the next best thing and prepares dinner at her apartment and a selection of Helena's favourite movies. Ellie takes inspiration from her maternal grandmother and begins the cooking process early after several experimental batches. Sometimes Ellie thinks that researching viruses is less of a challenge than playing host for a social event. Ellie may clash with the Bartlet calendar, but she cannot help but admire her mother for doing major grander displays at least 200 times a year. 

"Professor Miller is here; she says that traffic was surprisingly merciful this evening but is happy to wait and finish a trivia challenge with her nephew." Foster dutifully quotes the words from the doorway. 

"Oh that's ok. Send her in after she finishes naming all the rivers in Egypt and ranting about the exact position of the Nile." Ellie instructs 

The Helena Miller, who enters her apartment, looks like somebody who benefited from a holiday with a family who manages not to stress her out. Somehow, she manages to pull off that generic description 'Smart- Casual.' Her hair is neatly in place, and the dress shirt is expensive and fits perfectly. Her long fingers are fiddling nervously with a box of pastries (something of a tradition between them.) 

"Having Chapter and Verse of your worst or most problematic qualities from an optics perspective, is an interesting approach. Did you learn that trick from working with Andy Wyatt in Egypt?" Ellie asks, trying to put her at ease. 

"You know you might be better at politics than you think, with that poker face. Can I take the fact you are you cooking dinner while watching an Audrey Hepburn interview as a good sign?" Helena asks tentatively.

"According to both my sisters, the answer was never in doubt. Yes, I would very much like to go on a date with you if you are willing to face the gauntlet. On one condition though. " Ellie confirms with an equally nervous smile. 

"Name it."

"You may think you are ready for the media and the muck racking the name of gossip. It's one thing to know instinctively what my dad's critics will go after; it's another to read about yourself in paper or online. The attention will come in waves but never go away entirely one of the reasons my brother in law is so unhappy but fakes contentment is that he feels trapped in our shadow. Please know that I won't blame you if it gets too much. Escaping Politics is  _ always  _ an option for you, no judgement or hysterics." 

"I will only if  _ you  _ promise to do the same. You are only 26 and there will be other opportunities to fall in love. Despite the unique circumstances, doesn't make it any less or more likely to fail. All we can do is try our best." Helena replies seriously. 

"It's a deal." 

Ellie doesn’t say that 26 is plenty old enough to find her one person. The Bartlet family tends to follow the Christian tradition of marrying or committing young. It tends to be a fairly black and white affair, you casually date and then you bring someone to meet the parents. Such opinions were best left for another day.


	5. West Wing Confidential

_ "I mean the universe -- but we cannot understand it if we do not first learn the language and grasp the symbols in which it is written. The book is written in mathematical language, and the symbols are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without whose help it is impossible to comprehend a single word of it; without which one wanders in vain through a dark labyrinth _ ."

CJ Cregg does not want to be at this meeting. 

Of course, a significant portion of her day involves meeting people she would rather avoid, the press gaggle being chief amongst them. Leo's Big Block of Cheese Speech being another. Carol does an admirable job of marshalling her schedule between ambitious new hires on the Washington beat and the latest potential scandal. Her soft spot for Danny Concanon notwithstanding, however, she wouldn't miss this meeting for anything. 

The clock seems to be ticking extra loudly in the small confines of one of the meeting rooms in the East Wing. Her companion for this unexpected meeting is annoying calm about the situation, possibly because both their respective bosses are at a social event with Doug and Liz Westin and not in the vicinity. Amy Gardner seems to be making some origami animal with her notepaper without a care in the world. 

"Relax CJ; she is hardly going to announce plans to join a foreign legion or cross-party lines." Amy Gardner announces with confidence. 

"You haven't seen POTUS completely derailing our legislative plan because of some congressman making an offhand comment about one of the girls and thus violating the protective radius around them. It can take me months to undo the damage." 

"CJ, Amy. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me." 

Ellie Bartlet strides into the room with uncharacteristic confident, and she doesn't avoid eye contact. She quickly slips into the seat, opposite them. CJ is thankful that the middle Bartlet daughter looks healthy and doesn't appear to have any major injuries or heartbreaks to report. She is fiddling with the watch at her wrist though. CJ always feels a wave of compassion for this young woman who doesn't have the temperament for the life her last name requires. 

"Before, we get started. I want you to know that I do intend to tell Mom and Dad; it would be unfair for me to put you in a position of keeping anything from them, especially you Amy. I just need to separate the parents reaction from the political ramifications." Ellie explains in a rush. 

"That's ok Elie are here to help." CJ does her best to sound reassuring

Amy looks like she has temporary forgotten she is a Washington insider now and looks ready to revert to her hard-charging advocacy days. A part of Amy will always be fighting for Emily's List and NOW. It's part of the reason Abby Bartlet likes her so much. Truthfully, she frightens CJ a little, only because struggles to  _ care  _ about the public optics. 

"I've met a woman and would like to date her publicly; I know that more complicated than the typical kid from a Catholic family from New Hampshire, though I can promise she doesn't present the problems of Sam's law graduate friend." Ellie explains her fingers carefully tapping at her sides. 

CJ blinks in surprise. Of course, there were always rumours about Ellie's dating history (or lack thereof). Abby was constantly worrying about her middle child. However, the more salient fact was that Ellie was coming to them before somebody caught a grainy photo at the wrong time or they spent one too many weekends together. 

"We are going to need more information than simply her gender if we are going to advise you, Ellie. The first point will be a bone of contention for the conservatives, but there will be other factors at play. I'm assuming because you are here, you have her permission to talk about things, at least in general terms?" Amy asks, gently keeping her tone soft. 

"Her name is Helena Miller and she practically wrote an opposition research paper on herself. She is a linguist." Ellie says with an affectionate smile. 

"The translator that Andi Wyatt likes to use, the one who is teaching and John Hopkinson’s for a few semesters?" Amy makes the connection almost instantly. 

"Do you have a Rolex of  _ all  _ woman in your head?" CJ asks incredulously looking at her new colleague and almost friend. 

"NOW and Emily's List use the services of many different disciplines and use woman were possible. We travel in similar circles and fight the same mediocre legislative agendas." Amy sounds like she wants to give the president's daughter a thumbs up or something equally inappropriate. 

"I've spent my whole adult life avoiding political spotlight and confrontation, I need you both to tell me how bad this could get and what we need to expect. Please keep in mind that I'm not my sisters and have all the Washington instincts of intern in the wrong subcommittee." Ellie jokes with a nervous shrug. 

Without saying a word, Amy and CJ recalibrate their expectations for this meeting. There is no magical formula for preparing this type of information to go public. The news will hit the wrong note somewhere in the cycle no matter how earnest the strategy. LGBT rights aren't nearly progressive enough to sit entirely comfortably with everyone, but progress is happening a snail's pace. The Bartlet Administration is the centre of many controversies and unique circumstances. At least Ellie's request is an easier negotiation than trying to make sense of the Republican-controlled Congress and its messaging. 

***

_ Tell your parents sooner rather than later. They may find other ways.  _

Telling her mother is the first logical step, Ellie didn't get her reputation as her mother's shadow on a whim. She wants to pick up the phone the first time she and Helena kiss properly after the credits of another movie night. Despite how close Ellie feels to her mother, there are a few aspects of her life that she guards with fierce privacy. Not because the older Dr Bartlet is judgement but because few things can stay just between them in practical terms. Her parents like to discuss potential 'suiters' for the daughters as a unit. Somehow Ellie doubts she will get the same reaction when Zoey and Charlie started officially dating. 

Unlike the movies, their first kiss isn't a big peak moment in their day, that aspect of their relationship evolves naturally after that first agreement to start dating in the true sense of the term. Helena is an inherently tactile person and is open a free with her affection while being respectful of Ellie's sometimes inconsistent limits. It feels surreal but lovely to put her longing for women, in the generic sense, into action with deliberate intent. This experience from stolen kisses behind the equipment shed at soccer camp. 

"There is an extra spring in your step Ellie, did this first results come back with promising results?" Abby asks as she helps her shift furniture in a spring clean. 

"The results are looking good but..." Ellie begins hesitantly 

Now would be the perfect opportunity to talk to her mother. Abigail Bartlet insists on making time each mother for each of her girls and family, doing mundane tasks or simply coffee. This month Ellie is redecorating her apartment on a whim, the perfect words do not come, even after 70 minutes of trying. 

"Mrs Bartlet the car is coming around, Ms Gardner is the car waiting to brief you for Shanghai." one of the lead agents calls out. 

At the same time, Foster gives a discreet that Helena is on the way. Even if she didn't discuss the matter first with Foster, the next people to find out about their relationship process is her detail. There is no conceivable way to keep such a development from them. Ron Butterfield runs a tight ship, and nothing will leak from them. Helena weaves into the fabric of Ellie's daily security routines, much like Gus's tutor or Zoey's roommate in college. To Ellie's knowledge, her (sort of) official lover doesn't present much of a challenge and follows similar routines most days. 

** The number of successful official dates: 10 **

** People who know about their relationship: ** ** 8 **

** Number of unsuccessful attempts to tell her mother: ** ** 2 **

** Unknown Variable: ** Her colleague Marco, who sees much and reveals little. 

_ *** _

_ With a few exceptions, the notion that there is a good or bad time to do this is a fallacy. _

Ellie can't quite bring herself to believe this fact. Her entire teenage and young adult years were a constant string of warnings about optics and consequences. In retrospect, it wasn't so bad when her father was a Nobel Laureate in a relatively obscure field of economics. His terms of Governor of New Hampshire is more of a challenge, but Jed Bartlet is uncontroversial enough to remain widely popular amongst moderates. The presidency is a whirlwind of avoiding reality for as long as humanly possible. Annie is experiencing the same growing pains but without the benefit of reality, anonymity and obscurity. 

"We can do this whenever you feel comfortable, Ellie. There is no need to rush because you have talked to West Wing staffers. Almost ten people reliably know a medical research fellow and linguist are dating, granted 10 is allot by political standards but still we have time. At least half of those are paid for their discretion" Helena insists as she watches Ellie pace. 

"I keep reviewing this calendar in my head of where my parents are and what they are doing. If news like this will distract dad from negotiations with China or if my needs more time to focus on Annie." Ellie frets without stopping her movements. 

** The number of successful official dates: 13 **

** People who know about their relationship: 9 **

** New People to the list ** : Helena's sister Allegra (who promises to keep the secret. 

** Number of unsuccessful attempts to tell her mother: ** ** 3 **

** Latest Reason for Failure ** : Scheduling Failure with her mom's tenth meeting of the day. 

** Current Unknown Variable: ** The West Wing Staff, keeping things from her parents is hard. 

__

_ *** _

_ Your life is your narrative and story; you should fight to protect it.  _

The problem with CJ sound advice is that Ellie doesn't know her narrative well let alone well enough to defend it. For all the objections to Doug Westin, Liz never wavers from the decision to marry him and raise a family. Ellie watches from the outside as both her sisters and parents grow into different identities and roles. Her life defines itself by a series of rebellions against such notions rather than forming a sense of self. A career in medicine is all she has ever strived to achieve, and even then she fell into HPV by default. 

Ellie knows she is a bisexual woman who happens to be in a relationship with another woman right and hopes to be for the foreseeable future. She passionately supports equal rights on just about all social issues, including gay rights but doesn't know how to do so openly. Technically she has never come 'out of the closet' on  _ anything  _ from TV preferences right through to sexual orientation. The term is demeaning and vague. 

"You don't need to find an exact label yet Ellie, there is plenty of time to find where you fit in the broader picture. I will do enough campaigning for the both of us." Helena advises patiently. 

"That's the thing I  _ enjoy  _ labels and the ability to understand the way different complaints of my life fit together. There is a reason I am the champion packer in the Bartlet Household, everything has a place." 

As is becoming her habit, Helena doesn't say anything else. She leads Ellie over to the coach and the sit for a while silently while Ellie processes all her fears and concerns. Sadly unless she was to fall in love with one of her father's political operatives, there is little direct advice that people can give. The comforting presence is enough for the moment. The solution will come. 

** The number of successful official dates: 15 **

** People who know about their relationship: 10  **

** New People to the list ** : An agent on Liz's detail who is providing emergency cover. 

** Number of unsuccessful attempts to tell her mother: ** ** 5 **

** Latest Reason for Failure ** : Complete freak out over the prospect of telling her mom hours before she goes on stage at major DNC fundraiser that will determine the next election war chest. 

** Current Unknown Variable: ** Her cousin Max who is friends with a few of Helena's work colleagues to an unknown degree. 

_ *** _

_ We can do this process in stages. It doesn't need to be an all or nothing situation.  _

Privately Ellie thinks that her two unofficial mentors might be a little optimistic to think that is possible. Her family is one for moderation despite their politics. Zoey's relationship with Charlie didn't work out under the pressures of the shooting an extremist. Her next boyfriend is Charlie's polar opposite in the form of a Frenchman with direct ties to the nobility. Annie is not just pro-choice but declares so publicly in magazines and to anyone who will hear the message. They are not to a family who can take things slow. Uncle John blames his brother for always reaching for the stars. 

"Gus's birthday is in six months, and Helena has a standing invitation with a few of her nieces and nephews if she would like to come. It will be a small family affair us and the security details. Doug's parents aren't coming up this year." Liz declares one day over the phone. 

"Is this your subtle way of giving me a timeframe, Lizzie B?" Ellie arches 

"Please, that's my direct intention, if I wanted to be sneaky about it, I would add her name to the plate settings. You require a deadline or you will always talk yourself out of it. There will never be a perfect time in our world. There is no safer place than a birthday party for kids, cake and a possible farm animal or two." 

"You have a deal. I'll invite Helena to Gus's birthday as my date." Ellie promises with a tremulous smile. 

** The number of successful official dates: Too Many to Count **

** People who know about their relationship: 11 **

** New People to the list ** : Carol Fitzpatrick is handing CJ's appointments and connections. 

** Number of unsuccessful attempts to tell her mother: ** ** 6 **

** Latest Reason for Failure ** : Her mother spending half of their conversation ranting about Mary Marsh and the Lambs of God. Ellie fears that if she comes out now, her mom might drive the woman out of town. 

** Current Unknown Variable: ** Annie. Ellie is getting closer to her niece again, and the teen is naturally curious about such things. 

_ **** _

_ "Despite what you may think. The Bartlet Administration has some friends and allies in this town. We can work with them to keep things under control.  _

Ellie tries to tell her father one night over dinner. Dinner at the White House residence is becoming something of a monthly occurrence. Ellie may dread the trip, but she does her best to keep the standing date every time. The shooting puts her petty squabbles with her father in a little perspective. Millie also confides to Ellie that he is heartsick over the idea that any of his daughters could be afraid of him. Ellie never wants her dad to make comparisons to her grandfather. They may disagree on many things, but she adores him beyond measure. 

"Why the sudden interest in Egypt, Ellie? We were there so briefly and your fair skin did not enjoy the exposure." Jed asks curiously while finishing his ice cream. 

Ellie flushes and feels her muscles tension in that familiar way. There is absolutely nothing judgement in the tone. On the contrary, they are having a perfectly lovely meandering chat about ancient and modern history. Jed Bartlet is famous for his comprehensive knowledge of the ancient world, and he delights in sharing this with anyone who will take an active interest. Ellie feels a surge of pride at surprising him a few times with an interesting factoid or observation. 

"Do you.... thin k it’s a stupid idea for me to considering learning Arabic, at least the basics?" Ellie deflects, trying not to stutter. 

"I don't think Eleanor Bartlet and stupid belong in the same sentence, unlike some members of our family I could name. Plenty of people learn a language as an adult, it’s not so different from a scientific formula." the reply was instant and enthusiastic. 

"Yes, it i s , Dad. At least for people who do not have your geek like powers of attention to detail." 

"Is there a reason you want to choose Arabic and now?" 

"Doctor Lewis is looking at doing so NHI research in the area and I thought a working knowledge could be useful addition." the words are simultaneously true and a lie. 

** The number of successful official dates: Too Many  **

** People who know about their relationship: 11  **

** New People to the list ** : NA

** Number of unsuccessful attempts to tell her mother: 7  **

** Number of unsuccessful attempts to tell her father: 1  **

** Latest Reason for Failure ** : Not telling the truth is far easier both times. 

** Current Unknown Variable: ** Her unprecedented level of happiness and random desire to smile. 

****

"Are you sure you'll be ok if I consider this exchange programme."

"Zo, you are not putting your life on hold to play offensive for me. France is your dream. I'm not even sure when I'll talk to mom and dad. You may have the next degree before this becomes an issue. ”

Zoey glowers at her sister. She looks perfectly willing to put all her plans on hold. The sisters are becoming even closer as Ellie works through the emotional rollercoaster. Ellie knows that she can at least rely on two allies in the coming out process. However, Zoey wants to go to France with her new boyfriend. There are so many exciting things for her youngest sister to see before she commits her life to one career or person. Unlike Ellie, who knew she wanted to be a doctor since she was five years old. 

"Mom and Dad aren't the people they play on TV sometimes and give speeches to thousands of people. They are going to love you no matter what happens or who you choose to bring home next thanksgiving." Zoey insists 

"And they aren't always the joyous attentive parents they play on-screen either. You know they would prefer a trifecta of uncontroversial sons in laws to join the family photos." Ellie disagrees not bothering to hide her scepticism. 

"Have faith Ellie, they love you beyond all measure and certainly more than 3 and possibly 4 pieces of scripture that have multiple interpretations." Zoey argues not willing to let the point go

"I know that Zo but I don't speak the Bartlet Language in the same way that you and Liz do, every time I try everything gets tangled." Ellie works to blink back tears. 

“ You are the truest  ‘ Bartlet ’ of us all, Liz and I don ’ t naturally speak the language, sis. You are who Dad is without the ego and obsessive need to be in public. If he stayed on the path to the priesthood.  “ Zoey disagrees almost wistfully. 

Zoey pulls her into a hug for a long moment but doesn't say anything else. The burdens of being a Bartlet are many even amongst all the privilege.  Eight years isn ’ t a long time in the history of a nation or politics , but such timeframes can define a family. 

__


	6. A Test of Faith I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this long before COVID 19 but please take if sickness could be upsetting - stay safe everyone. 
> 
> RBG - Rest in Power :-(

_ Facts which at first seem improbable will, even on scant explanation, drop the cloak which has hidden them and stand forth in naked and simple beauty. _

_ Galileo Galilei _

Ellie Bartlet thinks her plan is close to perfect. 

Her mom and Millie Griffin are coming to Maryland for a mini holiday together. Now that the Office of The First Lady is running smoothly under Amy Gardner's stewardship. Millie is doing a series of lectures on the importance of nutrition as a preventative for public health emergencies. Since the Live Chat Debacle, Josh Lyman is giving her appearances on safer ground with topics that few can dispute. The censorship of medical opinion and knowledge still rankles Ellie, but she learnt to pick her battles. At least Millie is still in the Administration to help her father with navigating his MS. 

The average of having two of the most important people in her life together in one place means that it cuts down on the number of confessions and confrontations. Once Millie and Abbey know than the news will find a way to spread through the family, and Ellie can wait out ramifications. Millicent Griffin has had the misfortune of being at the centre of many Bartlet storms. Including the early days of trying to navigate the MS symptoms. While her coming out isn't in that same league, her calm presence will still be comforting. 

The words still won't come, but Ellie has given up on making the perfect speech or explanation. She needs to have faith in both her parents' love and the deepening connection with Helena. CJ is on standby for the big moments in public. Ellie can summon the courage to make introductions over dinner or at least raise the topic. Helena is happy to be there for the first meeting. Still, the president's daughter doesn't simply invite people round, the game would be up almost immediately, besides her mother's schedule is so uncertain, she could need to rush out mid interrogation. 

"If talking to Amy or CJ taught me anything its that I can't wait for the story to be out of my control. My parents deserve to hear this from me, without needing to go into damage control." Ellie says resolutely. 

"Okay. I'll talk to my family as well, its logical to assume that they will play a role in whatever your father's people are working on, my parents will be happy to meet you or my specifically 'the researcher, Ellie. I'm dating." Helena says with a wearily smile. 

"One set of parents at a time. Who knows maybe we can have all do thanksgiving one year? Dad can bore you with his collection of slides on the National Park system." Ellie offers with half a hopeful shrug. 

"I'll dig out my slides of Egyptian heritage sites if you think that will help?"

***

The first obstacle is Helena getting sick. 

The linguistics professor has severe asthma which, while well in hand, flares up a couple of times a year. Helena jokes that it's strange she would make a living from talking and translating multiple languages, when oxygen was sometimes at a premium for her. In everyday life, the condition doesn't affect her quality of life, but the episodes of escalation can be serious. Aside from the political conflict, one of the results Helena's family moved to the States was to give their two older children top-level respiratory care. 

"I am going to cancel our lunch plans. There is no way you are recovered fully in a week. Your chest is ratting like a freight train." Ellie insists as she sits on the corner of the bed. 

One of the more frustrating things about being a celebrity by default is that Ellie couldn't simply take her girlfriend to the doctor, and hear all the care instructions. Theoretically, she could, and Foster and the team is up for the challenge, but that will not get Helena seen any faster. Instead, Ellie waits while Helena goes to the nearest clinic with an onsite respiratory specialist. It's a routine that Helena and her family quite familiar. The mountain of medication, instructions and learning the basics of the home nebulizer is still daunting. 

"No. I'll be fine in the end. You have been looking forward to seeing them for ages." Helena wheezes while being careful not to move too fast or far. 

"It doesn't matter. There will be other opportunity for lunch dates. I don't trust you not to overdo things while I'm gone." Ellie does her best not to glower. 

"Ellie this isn't my first time catching a bad bout of bronchitis that sets off my asthma, it happens practically every year. The walls of the house would rattle when my brother and I were younger. All I need rest, fluids and let the medication do its work. Allegra offered to take time off work if I am still not better." Helena explains gesturing vaguely at the neat stack of bills and inhalers. 

"I'll make a call closer to the time. I'll be giving you all the pills and treatments." Ellie says without blinking.

Helena concedes the point without further objection. Her body doesn't have the energy for too much extra exertion, right now going up against Bartlet stubbornness falls into that category. 

***

The second obstacle is Jean-Paul Pierre Claude Charpentier Vicomte de Condé de Bourbon. 

Technically speaking the minor French aristocrat has done nothing beyond charm Zoey Bartlet. He may be smug and arrogant, but Ellie wants Zoey to have the freedom to experience an exchange without the overwhelming constraints being in America. Ellie can't see this relationship lasting, but that's up for her sister to decide. One thing in Jean-Paul favour is that he is the polar opposite of Charlie Young, which is possibly some if not most of the appeal. Her Dad is in a state about the whole prospect and needs his wife to run interference, lest he declares war on hereditary principality with no expressive power. 

_ "At some point Dad is going to have to realize we are functioning adults capable of making our own mistakes in multiple time zones." Ellie complaints to her mother over the phone. _

_ "Yes I know, but it doesn't help matters that this mistake looks like every European elitist that when through your grandfather's school. We'll be there in a few days.” _

_ "Do you best to ensure we maintain diplomatic relations with France, won't you?" Ellie is only partially joking.  _

Ellie is delighted for the delay and not only because it gives her more time to prepare. Helena is taking a while to bounce back from her bronchitis and is still up most of the night. The doctors are reasonably confident this will pass and that some asthmatics are unlucky when it comes to how severely the condition affects them. Ellie is living in Helena's spare room, and scanning data in between meals and medication runs. The schedule is brutal, but Ellie would only be worrying at home if she wasn't looking after Helena directly. 

"Don't use the princeling or me as an excuse to wriggle out of talking to them entirely, Ellie. I know how close you are to your mum keeping secrets like this must be hard." Helena says softly from the bed. 

"It's nothing I haven't done for a lifetime. A few more days won't make a difference. Besides it would be better to introduce you when getting to the mailbox isn't a marathon effort that we take in stages." Ellie says, climbing onto the other side of the bed.

" I like how you think, Dr Bartlet." Helena compliments affectionately. 

"I like how you can almost draw a full breath without seeing stars, Professor Miller. Yay for oxygen saturation." Ellie compliments glancing at the readout. 

This period of sickness wouldn't be the hardest test their fledgling relationship will face, far from it. No matter how good CJ, Amy and the rest of the team are, there will still be harsh critics. Everybody will have an opinion from the Speaker of the House to friends she hasn't seen since science camp. At the same time, Ellie relishes the deepening connection they share and being available to comfort Helena in her time of need. Historically in relationships, she hasn't been brave enough. It's a little thing, but the effect still makes her smile. 

***

The third obstacle is the stubborn virus growth rates. 

Ellie desperately doesn't want to postpone lunch with her mom and godmother. It's been a nightmare to reschedule once both older woman can get away from Washington. Dr Lewis is a brilliant boss who is extremely understanding about Ellie working from home. However, at this delicate stage in the experiment, all hands are on deck. She rings her mom from the care to see if they can push lunch to the last day of their stay. 

" _ What's going only, Ellie? You should have plenty of time to arrange leave with all the delays."  _ her mother sounds more specious than angry. 

Ellie works hard not to lie directly to her mother. There are things that they don't talk about, but in general, she tries to keep the lines of communication open. Whatever her mother chooses to do with that information is her choice. However, it is easy enough to slip into a medical explanation of the new experiment even for a doctor who isn't in that field directly. They share a passion for issues affecting woman; the deception is easy. 

"Okay Ellie, but I better see you for the afternoon, no excuses. We need to discuss our next family trip to France to sooth your father." the tone is stern and unyielding. 

"Thanks Mom. I love you." Ellie exhales in relief 

Helena is still struggling to recover, but she is getting better slowly. Her cough is still harsh and rattling and is always on medication. The nights are worst than the day, and Ellie is still reluctant to move back to her apartment. There is little danger that the symptoms will get worst, but there is always a chance. Helena's family live several states away and can't easily come to provide support. Her mother is regularly checking flights if they need to fly in suddenly. Ellie is texting them periodically and in processes getting to know Helena's family. 

_ "Do you need me to come down? There is nothing here that can't be diverted for a week or two. There is no sense in you working yourself to into the ground."  _ Liz offers without a second hesitation. 

Ellie knows the offer is genuine, but her claim of inactivity is not. The Westin children have a dozen activities between them, and Liz is an in-demand consultant for local DNC. She will be monitoring several tight races and fundraising efforts. Her oldest sister has done enough in keeping Ellie grounded. 

***

The fourth obstacle is at the last-minute case of the nerves. 

Ellie feels like the girl in the second grade, and she is trying to prepare for a book report. She is a naturally shy and introverted person, and the idea of being on display is terrifying. Her mother and Millie are not the problem. She is looking forward to talking about how much she likes Helena and all her attributes. However, the reality is that Ellie will no longer have control once the secret is out. While in the beginning having them in the loop was comforting, now it feels like a daunting and struggling anxiety. 

"Ellie, please stop pacing. It's still something of a novelty not to seeing triple versions of you. Sit down and we can talk about what's worrying you." Helena insists after clearing her throat and sipping on her water. 

"What if Mom wants me to go to Washington and talk to Dad in person right away? You aren't well enough to travel and he will probably want to grill you on your ancestors back to the 16th century or something." 

"Ellie, I'm not entirely sure I can stand for any length of time yet, please stop pacing, so my relationship with gravity isn't put to the test too soon." Helena pleads to make a move to stand up but looking dubious at the prospect.

"Hey, don't you dare go anywhere." Ellie insists, rushing over to the coach. 

"My uncle is an amateur genealogist. You joke, but I could probably talk about our roots for the past 300 years if your father genuinely wants to know. I hate to introduce a touch of logic into what is an impressive panic attack but you a forgetting a few things."

Ellie looks ready to protest, but she stays silent after Helena pulls their bodies closer together and starts gently stroking her hair. 

"All that could happen and Sen. Barbara Layton could be at our door tomorrow, complete with her carefully worded condemnation. The reporters could haunt my niece at school next week. Whatever happens, we still need to take the chance. Besides Abbey Bartlet is first and foremost, your mother and will be the best audience you are likely to get. Who knows she may have answers to a few of the thousand of the worries whirling in your head." Helena reasoned logically. 

"She did manage to get me to Stockholm to see Dad win the Nobel Prize, even though I was shaking the whole way." 

"Have faith Ellie, these are the people that love you the most, let them be your foundation." 

***

"Millie. I need your help." 

Ellie feels vaguely guilty about ringing the Surgeon General at 2:00 am for personal reasons. However, long before she was one of the highest serving doctors in the government, she was a close family friend. There are plenty of secrets and confidences that Millie got them all through over the decades. If any person can make the situation right its the older doctor. Ellie isn't sure what she would do if her godmother weren't in Baltimore for the weekend and a regular insomniac who keeps irregular hours. Ellie's faith in God is a fickle thing, but at that moment, it feels like a miracle. 

Helena takes a turn for the worst late in the night. Her fever is high, and she is still struggling to catch her breath, despite the nebulizer. Helena is adamant (between coughs) that she doesn't need the hospital. Ellie knows that her primary concern is for Ellie and the fact that there aren't that many logical reasons for the president's daughter to be in her place this late, especially when Ellie is wearing Helena's clothes. Ellie couldn't care less about her status at the moment. Helena whispers a compromise.

"Ellie, what's going on? Are you alright?" Mille asks sharply sounding awake and concerned. 

"I need you to pick up a script and get to my apartment as fast as you can. Helena is recovering from bronchitis complicated by asthma. I think she is stable but her lungs are working too hard and the fever is spiking." Ellie doesn't bother to clarify who Helena is for once it doesn't matter. 

The next 10 minutes waiting for Millie feel like they take forever, even as Ellie watches the digital clock tick in the corner. Helena is weak and listless, but she is doing her best to stay calm for Ellie. 

"Thank you for coming, Millie." Ellie almost sags in relief when she goes to the door. 

"Hello Miss Miller, I don't like the sound of those lungs. Let's take a listen, shall we? I am not going to ask you any questions beyond yes or no at this stage." Millie explains as it wasn't the middle of the night, and she wasn't a leading government official. 

Ellie watches in faint awe as her godmother conducts a quick examination and reaches into her medical kit for equipment. Helena has a standing order for oxygen for the rare cases she needed it at home, and that is what Millie picks up. They won't do any major medical interventions here but if they can't get Helena more comfortable Dr Griffin will direct the trip to the hospital. Ellie is hovering waiting to assist, but Millie hooks up the oxygen and a monitor in a matter of minutes. She keeps up a running conversation with Helena as she instructs her to breathe with the supplementary air. It takes about an hour and several medications, but Helena starts to relax enough to drift into an exhausted sleep. 

"Poor thing. Every breath was labour. You did the right thing calling me, these cases can turn on a dime." Millie whispered without looking up from her careful note taking. 

"Is she going to be okay? Should we call an ambulance to be safe?" Ellie asks anxiously pitching her voice equally low. 

"There is no need as long as she stays stable. People with chronic conditions tend to do better at home unless they can't avoid acute admission. I'm bunking on the couch and will make sure she rests comfortably. Use the spare room, if you were planning on staying, better than camping in this chair again" there is no room for argument in her tone.

"Millie thanks for coming in the middle of night."

"This is why you have been tying yourself into knots, trying to find the words to tell us you are in a relationship with another woman?" Millie asks as she ushers Ellie into the next room. 

Ellie can do nothing but nod. There is no way she can pass Helena off as a friend, not with the woman who knows her better than almost anyone. Besides she was planning on telling the truth in a little under seven hours anyway. There is no sense in keeping up the pretence for her careful speeches over eggs Benedict. 

"How long have you agonized over telling Jed and Abbey, and by extension the entire mechanism of the Bartlet Administration?" Mille asks a worried frown on her face. 

"Since our second or third date and nearly eight months." Ellie confesses, working around the sudden tightness in her throat. 

Without saying a word, the other doctor pulls Ellie into a tight hug. It's easy to forget how small Millie is especially when she is out of uniform and in something that is closer to PJs and than actual clothing. Ellie leans into the hug gratefully feeling weeks worth of tension, leaving her body in the show of support and affection. 

"Here is what's going to happen. You are going to grab a few hours sleep. If Helena stays stable overnight, I'll smooth things over with your mother and lay the groundwork. We can meet for dinner and discuss this in detail. You remember that your father has a reputation for being liberal and is going to love you regardless." Millie says the words without any room for doubt. 

"Don't you have appointments in the morning?" Ellie asks, trying to remember her schedule. 

"I spent half my career doing night shifts, one night with a single patient won't do me any harm. Don't argue, Ellie; you look ready to collapse." Millie interrupts with a firm head shake. 

Ellie pulls her godmother back into a fierce hug and moves back to her makeshift bed. 


	7. A Test of Faith II

_"See now the power of truth; the same experiment which at first glance seemed to show one thing, when more carefully examined, assures us of the contrary."_

_― Galileo Galilei , Discorsi E Dimostrazioni Matematiche: Intorno a Due Nuoue Scienze, Attenenti Alla Mecanica & I Movimenti Locali _

"I would berate you for running late but Ellie hasn't managed to drag herself away from the lab yet."

Abbey Bartlet says the words with a mixture of affection and genuine annoyance in her voice. She is careful to keep her voice and face relatively neutral. They are in the private room of a trusted restaurant, but you can never be too cautious with staff on minimum wage and cellophanes. Millie slides into the seat opposite and takes a large gulp of coffee. The lunch menu here is one of Ellie's favourites, and she has been asking her mother to stop by for months. 

"I have half a mind to make her attend the reception this year just to prove she can't abandon the Bartlet name entirely, for the sake of viral loads. Let alone lunch with us." Abbey continues while looking at the menu. 

The role of peacemaker with Ellie and Jed was not one she sought but nor is it one she would ever give up. The two people are as stubborn as each other and so similar in many ways. Ellie refuses to give any ground for the sake of Jed's political life, and her husband struggles to accept that all his daughters are not the same.

"Ellie isn't at the lab. You'll need to cut her some slack with this one Abbey. She barely slept a wink last night and probably is running on about 8 hours sleep collectively in the last 3 days." Millie objects quickly. 

"What you've seen her this morning? Is she getting you to run inference again, **like** she did with Inaugural Ball? You can't let her walk all over you, Millicent." Abbey asks in a rapid-fire sequence. 

"Ellie called me at 2 am. She was with someone who was in medical trouble and didn't feel safe going to the hospital and running into reporters. Good thing she did too, it was a nasty case of asthmatic bronchitis that was getting to the stage of secondary infection. I spent the rest of the night and morning on the coach monitoring supplementary oxygen and writing notes for the primary care physician." Millie explains, trying to conceal a large yawn. 

"Why wouldn't she feel comfortable going to the hospital. All the girls know that the Secret Service has procedures for working with the local medical centres. They would have kept her safe." Abbey poses the question while rapidly processing the information. 

Millicent Griffin doesn't say anything to her oldest friend. While she has **tacit** approval to start the conversation with mother and daughter. Something feels wrong about deliberately outing her goddaughter in this way. Besides, it won't take long for Abbey to put the clues together. 

"The asthmatic in question was a boyfriend who would make the media pages and drive her father crazy. As if Jean-Paul wasn't enough to deal with, another unsuitable." Abbey begins the statement with absolute certainty and more than a little dread. 

"No Abbey, she wasn't with a boyfriend, unsuitable or otherwise." Millie replies carefully. 

As Millie already predicted, it did not take long for the wheels to turn. Both Jed and Abbey were half expecting this conversion in some form for years. A range of emotion flitters across her friend face too fast to read. In the end, Abbey settles for carefully neutral as she reaches for another sip of coffee. 

"Ellie was spending the week nursing an unsuitable girl, wasn't she?" Abbey states. 

"If it's any consolation from the little I could gather between medication observations. This one could be very suitable girl in fact. She is almost as passionate about her subject as Ellie is about her viruses. I got a crash course in Applied Linguistics over breakfast this morning." Millie disagrees gently watching her friend for a reaction. 

"I need you to tell me everything. How long has my daughter been keeping things from me? Why did it take a near medical emergency for her to talk?" Abbey sounds genuinely hurt now. 

"Oh, Abbey. From what I can gather, talking you was the only thing on her mind for weeks, if Helena hadn't gotten sick, she would have made it on her terms."

"Less justifying more intel, Millicent." Abbey tries not to bark the order out too forcibly. 

"Well, baring in mind, I have known the woman for a little under 18 hours while her lungs were attempting a marathon. My first impressions are favourable, though her asthma control needs work. Helena seems like a genuine, compassionate and intelligent person who is imminently respectful of Ellie both as a researcher and as Jed's daughter. Her family are no strangers to the political scene and security, from Egypt originally."

***

"We should go over there right now. I need to tell Ellie that whatever nightmare scenario she has been obsessing over is not going to happen. Jed and I will move heaven and earth to keep her safe." 

Abbey Bartlet makes the statement with absolute conviction. It is easy to forget that Millie's old friend is one of the most influential and powerful women in the country. Abbey is most definitely an active First Lady and was responsible for winning more than few states in the union. It's only natural that after four years in power and surviving numerous political and material pressures do think that there are few things you can't solve. However, going over there guns blazing even with maternal love is not the right approach. 

"We will meet her for dinner as planned, Abbey. She needs time to think and prepare. You know Ellie better than anyone, spontaneity is not high on her list of attributes. Give her time sleep and fresh up." Millie insists 

"My daughter does not need to 'freshen up' to see me, Millicent. I will accept many changes since Jed came to office. The polls, the fashion critiques, the false friends. My children needing to 'present themselves' to me is not one of them." 

Millie reaches out a hand and squeeze reassuringly. Abbey knows this on an intuitive level, but there is a particular kind of pain when you realise your children felt the need to keep secrets, despite all the communication. They will stay here as long as it takes for Abbey and Ellie to connect. The Office of The First Lady and Amy Gardner will keep everything moving and bring anything urgent to her attention. Millie likes the new team even though she can't saying anything publicly. 

"Try to remember that Eleanor Bartlet is the most like that shy and nervous boy from Notre Dame that you fell in love with and saw such potential in all those years ago. Both father and daughter still need a particular kind of handling, especially in the big emotional things, that includes running their timetables. You know this Abbey." Millie keeps her voice low and soothing. 

"I take you your point, Dr Griffin. There is no need to use your Surgeon General's tone with me. I'll calm down before dessert." Abbey promises with a weary smile. 

"Calming down is overrated, Dr Bartlet, make sure your anger and frustration at the circumstances don't get misdirected, whether you like it or not Ellie is a poor match for the pace of Washington. She _does_ need to prepare to meet with you both as her devout Catholic mother and FLOTUS." Millie 

***

"I need to ask you if Ellie is happy, Liz." 

Abbey knows her tone is abrupt, but she can't think of another way to phrase things right now. The hours before dinner with her middle daughter seems to stretch out before her. It's not like she can claim the distraction of official duties. This trip is largely for Millie and her speaking tour. Abbey is here for the excuse to see and spend time with Ellie. Pacing the length of the hotel room isn't that productive. Talking to Liz feels like the next best alternative. Abbey may not feel certain of much in this current moment, but she believes Ellie would confide in her older sister. 

"Ellie told you then? About her new relationship?" Liz asks quietly sensing the tone. 

"No, that honour went to Millie because the girlfriend in question is recovering from a nasty belt of bronchitis and needed medical support at 2 am. Although it's a relief to know that Ellie was planning sharing with us this side of the decade." Abbey can't keep the trace of sarcasm from her voice. 

"Is Helena, ok? Ellie said she was improving on the phone." Liz sounds genuinely worried.

"This kind of infections can tell awhile to clear, especially with severe asthma. Millie has her under close supervision, and evidently, she benefits from the immediate attention of the younger Dr Bartlet. Let's not get side-tracked from the original question, Elizabeth." Abbey redirects the conversation. 

"Ellie is happy, Mom. Please don't be too hard on her. She was working up to telling you and Dad. Helena has a standing invitation to **Gus’s** birthday party, that was going to be her deadline for introducing her to the family." Liz starts to explain, trying to defuse the situation. 

"Things are serious, then, if that much thought and preparation have gone into the meeting. At least this approach is better than the guy who showed up in leather and with more tattoos than political opinions." Abbey muses dryly. 

"Ellie wants this one to work, Mom. Helena is a professor of linguistics and translator for the UN. There will be plenty of challenges when this becomes public, but keeping up with the Bartlet chaos will not be one of them. You and Millie are the two most important people in Ellie's life. The slow introduction effort should say something." Liz replies confidently. 

"Well having a vote of confidence from you and Zoey is an excellent starting. Although your youngest sister's tastes at present, leave something to be desired.'' Abbey can't help but quip the last part. 

"Not everybody can be Charlie, Mom. Jean-Paul will not be a factor by Christmas. She will find a new passion in France or elsewhere. Let her have a fling with somebody who isn't part of the political scene. Focus on one daughter at a time." Liz instructs firmly sounding like a mirror of Abbey herself. 

"We are meeting with this linguistics professor long before Gus’s birthday."

"Talk to Ellie and tell me where to be, I'll make any timing work before or after Zoey heads to France." Liz sounds like she is already flipping through a diary. 

"Thank you Lizzie B. I love you and the children very much." 

***

Dr Abbey Bartlet doesn't get nervous anymore. 

It's difficult to say whether this is a by-product of being a popular First Lady or from the fact her husband's presidency is one of the most embattled in history. Somehow the petty concerns of presentation and performance don't seem nearly as intimidating when you have a team of people making the substantive decisions for you. The lack of agency is irritating, but the role does have fringe benefits. Abbey knew 30 years ago that loving Jed Bartlet would require adjusting to a life of service. All the polling and opinions in the world cannot assist with this conversation and establishing the best ways to help Ellie down this path. 

She had respectfully asked Millie not to present for dinner tonight. There were too many people running inference for her daughters. While Abbey appreciates the support and guidance. There are some things only parents should be responsible for, maintaining a close bond is one of them. Millie wisely didn't say a word except that she would be up most of the night if she wanted to talk about things once returning from Ellie's apartment. The fact Amy rearranged her schedule (including international commitments) without a word of protest raises is suspicious enough. 

Ellie saves her the dilemma of knocking by waiting in the doorway, looking at least twice as nervous Abbey felt. For a second she did see the resemblance to Jed Bartlet at the same age, complete with the cowering look of waiting to disappoint a parental figure who you adore. Abbey feels her throat tighten with emotion for both the people in her life and the different degrees of suffering. Luckily there are strict privacy guidelines around family spaces. 

"Oh Eleanor, come here, Darling." 

Abbey winces when she feels how much Ellie is trembling at how tightly she clings on to the comfort. Despite Jed's proclamations, their middle daughter is not hers by default. Ellie was fiercely independent from the moment she could walk. This state of vulnerability and fear is a thankfully rare occurrence. Millie wasn't exaggerating about Ellie acting as a nursemaid for most of the week. She remembers a first-year med student in the middle of exams. 

"When was the last time you lay down or eat anything that wasn't instant?"

"Millie force fed me French toast this morning and Helena's sister dropped by a few nights ago. Mom I'm sorry..." 

"We will talk about this inside, but in these circumstances, there is no sentence that needs to begin with you apologising. You did your best with what knowledge you had around you and received support where you couldn't claim it, just like we taught you." Abbey whispers as she guides them inside. 

"I love you Mom." Ellie replies with a catch in her throat. 

"I love you so much, Eleanor Emily Bartlet." Abbey replies before wiping away a stray tear. 

Whatever happens in the coming days, at least this was a good foundation to start from together. 

***

"Your father and I love you and will accept whoever you choose to bring home."

Abbey says the statement the moment she and Ellie settle down onto the couch. While both she and Jed have discussed what they would say to Ellie if this moment arose, there is a marked difference between the hypothetical and the reality. All thoughts of going out to dinner long forgotten in favour of quiet conversation. Ellie looks better than her mother was fearing. The day of rest and stability have done wonders. Her baggy, John **Hopkins** sweatshirt makes Abbey smile affection, its several sizes too big but is still Ellie's go-to comfort outfit. 

"I...I..." 

Abbey waits for patiently Ellie doesn't stutter as a general rule, at least not in the clinical sense. Sometimes her nervous anxiety gets the better of her. The best way to support her is to let the words come at there own pace. It's a trick she learnt with Jed on their rare trips up to New Hampshire to see his disapproving father. The conversation isn't a skill that comes naturally even to her verbose husband, especially when emotions are at play. Emotionally intimacy is something Bartlet's were discouraged from showing at an early age. 

"I wasn't afraid of family time, not really. But there is a difference between accepting and being entirely comfortable. You and Dad have tread the moderate Catholic acceptance tight rope for years. Family values means something to you, don't pretend it doesn't. Having a bisexual daughter while appeasing a largely indifferent base and conservative senate are two different things entirely." Ellie explains, struggling to keep her voice from cracking. 

"It certainly doesn't mean anything in the way that Mary Marsh and her crowd weaponised the notion of family or that wrecked pseudo-Dr Jacobs." Abbey insists as she pulls Ellie into a hug. 

"Not all prejudice and lack of acceptance are as radical or extreme as those two, Mum. It's much easier to fight against the characters of conservatism that than members of our family who are still ambivalent on the topic." Ellie disagrees while burying closer to her mother. 

"Eleanor Emily, true faith is one that recognises the reality of everyday life, give us a chance to be the parents that you need us to be. We will to adjust and make the statements accordingly. Loving you isn't a conditional exercise, nor is who you love any type of sin." 

"I'll come to the residence and talk to Dad about everything. You won't have to keep secrets." Ellie promises.

"Not right away. When she is feeling 100%, your Professor Miller will be coming to Washington with you, and we can have a sit-down meal like any other family in America. There is no need for polls and narrative spin at this point in the equation. Your father maintains strict privacy around you girls for a reason." Abbey declares as if she is already setting the dinner in motion. 

"I think that Dad might like her. Helena plays chest and can read hieroglyphics with ease." Ellie offers the opinion shyly but with a hint of pride. 

"That fact that you have such a high opinion of her is reassurance enough for us, Ellie." Abbey has a feeling she will be repeating this phrase multiple times. 

"That wasn't what happened with Doug or Jean- Paul for that matter." Ellie points out with more humour than concern in her voice. 

"Doug and the lead up to our wonderful Annie is a unique case not easy compared to the current circumstances." Abbey works hard to maintain diplomatic relations with the Westin’s , even in name only. 

"Did you and Dad suspect that developing feelings for another woman was a possibility for me?" Ellie asks with genuine curiosity in her voice. 

Abbey pauses before responding working to gather her thoughts while ideally wishing that she didn't need to consider the political implications. Being a Catholic in these rapidly changing times is challenging enough. Parenting was easier when the girls were young and easier to protect from the harsh scrutiny.

"Yes this was a possibility that we've discussed before. Our _only_ concern was how to minimise the impact of the White **House** on your life." 


	8. A Test of Faith III

_ "The vain presumption of understanding everything can have no other basis than never having understood anything. For anyone who had ever experienced just once the perfect understanding of one single thing, and had truly tasted how knowledge is accomplished, would recognise that of the infinity of other truths he understands nothing." Gaelio  _ Galilei

"Ellie has brought me up to speed on the current situation." 

CJ Cregg and Amy Gardner are too good at their jobs to show much of a reaction to Abbey Bartlet's announcements. The list of private matters that could require both of their skills is limited, so neither is surprised to get the summons. In their respective fields, both of the staffers were quietly working on the 'Eleanor  T hing.' Giving the president's daughter the space to talk to those closest to her before anything happens publicly. It remains an unspoken concern between them that time might be running out—interest in the First Children spikes around ordinary milestone events. Zoey's graduation and all the Bartlet s being in town will peak the attention of many of the second tear publications in Washington. 

"We thought that might be the reason for clearing the schedule for the evening, what can we do to make things easier?" CJ asks treading the water carefully. 

"I can almost wrap my head around the idea of my daughter running her private life by a press secretary and a political operative before me but the need to strategise this with you people makes me feel vaguely ill." Abbey confesses looking uncharacteristically vulnerable. 

"Abbey, we were always more than a typical campaign. Upstarts with the education candidate from New Hampshire. It's a good thing that she feels comfortable coming to us in the first place. Trust me, the first thing from anybody's mind will be the optics of the situation until we have no other choice." CJ tries to strike a careful balance between professional and empathetic. 

"Besides in all honesty, Ma'am. There isn't a huge amount to __ plan  _ for _ ; the news is going to form fault lines along with pre-existing divisions. Those who love or even like us will continue to favour us all the more. The people who revile our guts will continue will add this to the pile of our imaginary sins. The key is nobody will want to attack Ellie directly, plenty may think Jed Bartlet is a spineless idealist. Nobody doubts his love for his daughters. The fallout is more dangerous for them that it is for us. There are plenty of Republicans with gay and lesbian children." Amy expands on the point. 

"That's an unusually optimistic stance for you to take Amy, I'm surprised. Ignoring the backward compliment to my husband of course." Abbey replies drily. 

"There are few jobs in this town that have pure motivations and directions. Protecting Ellie Bartlet from any backlash is one of them. I  _ am  _ optimistic Ma'am that we have enough goodwill to keep them both safe. We are working with an ideal candidate to test the waters, what Ellie decides in the future." Amy confirms with a reassuring smile. 

"Amy here is a fan of Professor Miller." CJ explains with a teasing smile. 

Abbey looks at her chief of staff with genuine curiosity and a hint of amusement. 

"I like people who create minimal problems for me. Miss Miller is predictable and sturdy. She is likely to work with rather than against us. Congresswoman Wyatt has nothing but good things to say about her."

"I will take your endorsement under advisement Amy." 

Abbey is joking, and political suitability is not high on her list of prospective partners, but there is something oddly comforting, nevertheless. 

***

There is the aspect of faith to consider. 

Anybody who falls Jed Bartlet's career knows that he is socially liberal when it comes to LGBT and most of other rights. The primaries were made harder, but his steadfast refusal to adopt more conservative messaging. His voting record reflects this even the administration is too moderate for some tastes. Abbey speaks proudly of her work with gay men during the hight of AIDS uncertainty and misinformation. 

Abbey has never felt any great conflict between her faith and the choice to let other people live their lives. God is responsible for the spark that is the human soul than surely He can accept the person in all their many variations. Her grounding in science and medicine provide a strong sense of commitment and connection to keeping people well and then includes living authentically. The pressure of public life is hard enough without the added scrutiny of private life. She feels levels of empathy for the closeted conservatives who twist themselves into knots for literal interpretations. 

"Who is that Episcopalian persist who likes to debate 'Dr' Jacobs for sport, the one who has a massive youth following?" Abbey asks Amy one day. 

"I think you a referring to Thomas Winters. He is a passionate believer in making the church more inclusionary and interfaith. Rumor has it, the man is responsible for single handily reviving interest in the church in a certain demographic." Amy supplies helpfully. 

"Do you think I can arrange a meeting with him to speak privately?" 

"Not yet Ma'am not without arising a certain level of curiosity. There isn't a lot of love for the man amongst certain Catholic circles which you are associated with, we can look into it later." Amy looks genuinely regretfully 

"Since when do I have to tap dance around the hurt feelings of the entire Catholic faith. Don't tell me, about when my husband and his best friend have the brilliant idea to run for president?" Abbey asks her own questions. 

"About 12 hours after that Ma'am. The priest in question has written several books on LGBT positive faith. Would you like me to get a list together for you?" Amy tries to compromise meekly. 

"That would excellent. Please track down copies of his speeches too."

"Of course."

***

There is the aspect of the family to consider. 

Abbey Bartlet prides herself on not being a hateful person, but she is grateful on an almost daily basis that her father in law died decades ago. Even with her, Jed was careful to avoid the topic of his childhood and the headmaster. Abbey didn't need to be either a doctor or a wife to read between the lines. The older Bartlet s behaviour when Jed decided to remain a layman and not a priest was evidence enough that he would not be a good influence on their children. Fortunately, sensitive Ellie was only a baby when he died. 

The plain truth is that reflecting on Ellie's current situation makes Abbey realise how easily and readily Ellie is moving away from the family in general outside Washington; she rarely makes the journey back to the farm anymore. Supporting her daughter means more than simply accepting and acknowledging her relationship. They need to re-establish the bonds from childhood before Jed become a superstar, and Ellie became almost impossibly shy at the same time. 

"Can you delay your flight by a week, Zo? Will it delay your schedule too much?" Abbey asks her youngest child.

"Shouldn't be a problem, Mom. What are you planning?" Zoey asks amicably. 

"A dinner with the five of us with Helena. Since you two are supporting her in this so far it makes sense for both you and Liz to be there. We can let your father do his chilli and gently interrogate Miss Miller about her entire life history and future prospects." Abbey explains while preparing lunch. 

"I'll be in for that and Liz has been on standby for weeks now. It's possible she misses playing the protective older sister without bullies in the playground anymore." Zoey is busily setting the table. 

"It makes me sad to think that your sister needed so many intermediaries before she felt she could talk to us directly. I think you were all wrong in the assertion that she is mine for for keeping. Ellie is more of mystery than you and Liz put together. Who she chooses to date is the least of the confounding variables." Abbey muses with a wistful smile. 

"Things are getting better. The blow out over Millie brought her back into the fold, and regular dinner dates will do the rest. Ellie isn't a mystery Mom; she is another shade of Bartlet. I know you and Dad have agonised for close 15 years about her happiness, but she is finding a path, have faith." 

"You wouldn't be the first person to say such a thing. If Ellie can't come to us directly, at least she has two of the best sisters in her corner. " 

"Always. Did she ask you to give Dad a heads up?" Zoey phrases the question as more of a statement than anything else. 

"Yes. Believe it or not Zoey. Your parents are entirely naive. This conversation will not be a huge shock to his system. The possibility is not new to either of us. The implications are different with the job and administration." Abbey shoots her daughter an arch look. 

"Let me know if you want me to come down to the residence after dinner. I'm pretty good at talking him down when he gets too caught up in his head or the political ramifications." Zoey offers as she reaches to butter some bread. 

"I will keep you in reserve, Darling." Abbey promises faithfully 

They quickly move to easier and lighter topics. The time alone is precious, and Ellie's situation will take more than one conversation. 

***

There is the aspect of fear to consider and fight against in earnest. 

Abbey Bartlet considers herself no stranger to fighting for justice. One of the reasons she ended up marrying Jed rather than Ron Ehrlich is that their dreams were similarly idealistic. Jed Bartlet was the first boy who wanted to discuss the problems of the world with earnest intensity rather than simply giving to charity or church on Sunday. She isn't even naive about some of the struggles Ellie may face. Volunteering at the AIDS hospice in the 70s and 80s taught her a thing or two about intolerance. 

"I want to know exact how bad is going to get for Ellie. Find me every Bartlet hating conservative that could use this for political capital. Amy you still have spies on the " Abbey announces one day during their now similar regular meetings. 

"Well I wouldn't call them spies Ma’am, but I do have contacts who could give me a run down on whose running on a true weaponised family values platform. We might not like what we find though, on both slides of the isle" Amy offers cautiously. 

"Wasn't it you two that weren't constantly championing, forewarned is forearmed. If Ellie is brave enough to came to us, we need to protect her." Abbey insists sharply. 

"It's not going to be as straight forward as finding the likely targets and watching them. Everybody will have some opinion when the news breaks. I'll help Ellie craft a statement or two but if we do our jobs right. The worst of the ugliness will stay in the shadows." CJ takes up the conversation. 

“Irrespective of the label CJ, Ellie is going to be facing more than the average young woman in this situation. You only need to look at the uproar ever time my husband express a faint opinion to know that.” 

What Abbey doesn’t say but privately fears is that some that opposition may be harder to face than others. Watching her medical career come under a microscope for every minor or major mistake still haunts hurts in a profound way. The number of allies were comforting but the amount of hostility about her choices a political wife and first lady still stung. Jed and the administration may lose the easy companionship with conservatives at the Prayer Breakfast. Some will not reconcile the devout almost priest and an open accepting of such an identity. It may even make the next legislative term harder in some committees, subtle and indirect as the attacks may be. 

No price is too high. 

***

There is the aspect of the future to consider. 

Eleanor Emily Bartlet is many things, but she is not somebody to take on a relationship lightly. If she is going through the trouble of considering the political implications, Helena Miller means something to her. Ellie would avoid the West Wing or the residence at all costs, but now she is volunteering to work with the staff and take a more active role. Abbey cannot help the seemingly petty worries of any parent when the children enter new relationships. The list of people she can confide in is vanishingly small. 

"Helena is older than Ellie by a few years. Do you think that will become an issue?" Abbey muses from across the room. 

"Helena also has imperfect lungs, unhealthy levels of stoicism and questionable definitions of health and wellbeing. A radical with an abidingly love of a good protest. Are we listing all potential flaws for consideration now?" Millie asks with a gently teasing smile. 

"I would be expressing these concerns regardless of the gender in question, Millicent. It's a parent's prerogative to consider the future for their children even when they are young adults. Ellie is only twenty-six." Abbey explains, trying not to sound too defensive. 

"Abbey, you know that struggling with this concept is ok right? You don't need to be PFLAG Mother of the Year within 36 hours. I get that living the life you do can give a false impression but its ok to be fearful, it doesn't mean you love Ellie any less." Millie tries to change tracks soothingly. 

"There is a difference between knowing and feeling such things. My biggest fear is that Ellie will start to face a future that I cannot protect her from, including all the taunting and bully behaviour." 

“That’s why we are all here. The first step is telling Jed. Everything else will follow from there. Trust in your husband and the family you have spent close to 30 years building. My goddaughter is the remarkable person she is today because of those roots.” 

***

"Abbey, why do you have the same expression you did when your neurologist friend suggested I get checked out?" 

Jed asks the question with more amusement than genuine concern. There is no way Abbey would get away evasion at the moment. They were having a quiet dinner for two, sampling Andre's latest creation, Abbey even relaxes the strict supervision of his diet for the occasion. He is indulging in far too much sugar and salt. All the food tastes bland in her nervousness, but she keeps up appearances. One advantage of a long marriage that has withstood so many challenges is that they have a level of patience with each other.  Including that painful day when Otto first brought up the need for another opinion on his vague symptoms. 

"What I am about to tell is nowhere near on that scale, but it does have far-reaching implications. Ellie is coming for a visit next weekend and she is bringing someone with her." Abbey begins the conversation slowly. 

"While I admit seeing our middle child in these parts is something of a rarity, it doesn't generally warrant such a grave tone. Is she back with that jerk who could barely remember what party he was affiliated with...it’s probably a good time for it? Very little could be worse than sitting through another lunch with Jean-Paul and his snobby friends." Jed points out with a roll of the eyes. 

"Quiet Jethro, we will discuss your plans to visit France every month Zoey is away some other time. Ellie is bringing a professor of applied linguistics to meet us and  _ her  _ name is Helena." Abbey explains watching her husband carefully for signs. 

Jed Bartlet is not an easy man to read. For somebody who is so seemingly gregarious and extrovert. He is more than capable of keeping his inner thoughts to himself. It’s what makes the Republican leadership underestimate him so frequently. He sits back and folds his cutlery and napkin neatly before gesturing to the coaches by the fire. Abbey has little doubt he will do everything he can to avoid getting called away to the next crisis.  Once there is an issue or concern with the family, Jed is almost impossible to distract even with his current job. Abbey suspects Amy and CJ are running as much interference as they can. Leo is always good at trying to give them time as a couple, not wanting to the McGarry marriage play out with them. 

"So, we were right about the..." He begins with awkward uncertainty. 

"It would seem to be the case, but Ellie doesn't want to go into huge amounts of detail. I found out yesterday they have been seeing each other for a while. Zoey and Liz have been acting as her support system. We will be finding out the salient points together. " Abbey replies in a rush. 

"Abbey, please don't tell me Eleanor was afraid that we would..." 

Abbey loves her husband for many reasons, more emerge with each decade. His deep concern for his daughters is at the top of the list. The idea of rejecting Ellie for wanting to bring a woman home to meet them wouldn't even cross his mind, even though it is a challenge to a more conservative upbringing. Jed would willingly let the administration burn before he allowed it to become a source of prejudice and hate. The notion that Ellie could fear his reaction makes Jed cringe. 

"It's not that. Ellie needed time to separate her parents from the towering figures of POTUS and FLOTUS. I'm not thrilled about it either, she is working with the team on this and not against CJ at every turn. Which is an improvement on the last few relationships." 

"Do we know anything about this Helena, aside from the fact that she is seemingly literate in multiple languages, which again is an improvement on our son in law." Jed leans forward, eager for information. 

"Don't look so eager there, Jethro. Whatever we learn about this Helena will be done through old fashioned means. You will not send Josh on a re con mission." 

"Spoilsport. Is she happy?"

"I think so, our other daughters and her godmother appear confidant. ” 

"That's all that matters. The other stuff can come later. Although we will be talking about the conspiracy of silence amongst our nearest and dearest at some point." 


	9. Dinner with the Bartlets

_ "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." –  _ **_ Galileo Galilei _ ** .

Dinner with the Bartlets is an intimidating prospect.

Ellie can sometimes find her family an overwhelming prospect at the best of times, much less the unique possibility of introducing someone to the clan en mass. All her previous relationships antagonised her parents and members of the administration alike, but Ellie never wanted or valued her family's opinion so much. She wanted Helena with her during the annoyingly staged White House Thanksgiving or to listen to the other woman debate her father about an obscure part of history. 

"Are you sure you are feeling well enough to do this?" 

"For the 10th time, Ellie. I am feeling absolutely fine." 

Helena isn't lying exactly, but the way she fiddles with the sleeve of her jacket and a few strains of loose hair tend to indicate otherwise. She asked Ellie to run through the protocol several times and insisted on shopping for small gifts for both her parents, despite that fact that buying for the First Family can be an intimidating prospect. There are actual rooms in the White House for state gifts. Her father is still gloating over those chess sets from India. 

"I wish I could give you some advice, but this is sort of new territory for me to, the last time I was serious about someone, Dad was a folksy governor." Ellie confesses with a helpless shrug. 

"Eleanor Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but no amount of insider knowledge is going to make this any easier. I'm going to stumble over my words, obsess over details and panic at 3 am this morning. It's the nature of our unique situation. Maybe I'll be like leaping into a cold river, practice will make the sensation easier?" Helena looks doubtful of her metaphor. 

"Thank you for being willing to go through this trial by trivia for me, Mom will run interference, I think." 

"Ellie, at some point I'm going to convince you that this gratitude ledger isn't necessary. You have already given the 'escape route' speech. Maybe this is my caveat to that, nothing I am doing is particularly remarkable or worthy of praise. Yes, it's nerve-wracking but you being the president daughter was part of the package deal when meeting a research fellow who made me smile." 

"You are wrong about the remarkable part but lets not debate now. I might accept one of those invitations to the next state dinner. Seeing you in a pretty ballgown might be worth the aggravation." 

***

"You are not going to overtax yourself tonight. We have Zoey's graduation in a few days and you need plenty of energy to reminiscence with the boys about when our children were turning two not twenty." Abbey instructs firmly. 

"Anybody would think I hadn't been more or less successfully running the country with a hostile congress and war games in the Atlantic or anything." Jed quips back as he fiddles with the cufflinks. 

"You are better at international diplomacy than you are at meeting our daughter's perspectives partners. You need handling." 

"It's hardly a fair playing field. The serious choices are Doug and Charlie, who caused drama for us at the opposite end of the scale. The Frenchman is still a question mark. Meeting a linguist will hardly hit the same high notes. It's not like we haven't been half waiting for Ellie to bring someone like this, Abigail Anne." Jed points out, giving his wife an arch look. 

"A passionate academic who idolises Roy Ashland and finds any excuse to debate?" Abbey jokes 

"A passionate  _ female _ academic who idolises Roy Ashland and finds any excuse to debate. I'm just glad we aren't having this conversation three years ago when Ellie would need to contend with campaigning chaos." 

"She may surprise you with her strength and resolve, Jethro." 

"No daughter of yours could ever surprise me by possessing those qualities, Doctor Bartlet." Jed disagreed firmly. 

The Bartlets finish getting ready together in companionable silence. There is plenty more to say and action, but the first time will be meeting their daughters for dinner. Abbey absently straightens her husband's shirt and gives his final touches a seal of approval in much the same she has done for the past 30 years. Abbey Bartlet is the chief curator of the Bartlet public image now, but she has been doing similar things ever since she fell in love with a boy with big dreams and poor self-worth. 

"Let’s get this show on the road. Zoey and Liz and doubtlessly plotting." 

"Remember when the only plots were around who could get a second or third scoop of ice-cream? Those were the days, though I don't miss the London winters." 

"Conspiring to protect each other is the kind of scheming I can get behind, especially when it results in more time together. Now promise you won't grill Ellie's professor for three hours straight. There is no need to replicate that Great Westin Show. The two situations couldn't be more different in more ways than just the one the media will focus on." Abbey instructs as they leave the room. 

"I was positively restrained when it came to Doug, three hours was barely enough time, considering it didn't do any good in the end, except our grandchildren." 

***

"I think we should have gone over there or something." 

Zoey Bartlet asks the question as the two sisters finish chopping the salads and side dishes for the meal tonight. While Andre and his team will be preparing the main meal, no Bartlet or Barrington will get away with no contributing in some way. It was almost second nature to spend time in the kitchen when guests were coming. 

"Ellie doesn't need us to hold her hand when coming to the residence anymore, Zo. She and Dad get through entire dinners without arguing about the role of politics and the public in science." Liz points out with a reassuring smile. 

"Still wee have agreed to restrict Dad to four rambling Bartlet Family Adventures and zero slide show collections?" Zoey clarifies while dicing the cucumber. 

"There will be no opportunity for National Parks trivia or any kind. We want Dad to  _ like  _ Helena not seek her as a fellow recruit to obscure facts land." Liz agrees while mixing the citrus for the dressing. 

"It will give Doug pretending to have any interest obscure geopolitical theory and the downfall of the League of Nations." Zoey points out, aiming for a teasing tone. 

It's always hard to judge Liz's mood when it comes to her husband. The Bartlets are a family that likes to joke and trade witticism. Jed Bartlet won a poll for the most charming and spontaneous presidents in a random magazine quiz. Of course, readers of those polls don't realise the legion of knowledgeable people he has at his fingertips. Elizabeth Bartlet Westin is more than aware of her husband's shortcomings in this regard, how awkwardly he fits round that particular dinner table, long before they were a First Family. 

"Dad could muster up the energy to fane an interest in events that occur outside the ancient world or the geopolitical landscape. A successful in-law relation goes both ways in our strange one." Liz says sharply. 

"That has always been the case; somehow, I doubt he is going to change now. Besides, he and Doug have their moments, especially now that Gus and Annie are older and will to express opinions. 

"What's that economics term that Dad is so fond of 'minimum viable product.' 

***

"Wow being here is a little different from the official tour in school." 

Helena is doing her best not to appear too awed by their surroundings. Going to the residence is not as grandiose the famous rooms in the White House or the West Wing. There are plenty of personal histories of the families who inhabit these walls, but by in large the press respects the boundaries. Ellie had winced when her detail had started liaising with White House security, but at least the entire staff were the soul of discretion. 

"I can't imagine you enjoying that tour overly much, except maybe the M&Ms with the seal." Ellie asks, laughing at the image. 

"Mom and Dad were keen for us to learn everything about our new country and its history while still being proud of Egypt. In between asthma and respiratory treatments, we did all the publicly available tours. Dad was on a first-name basis with all the guards all three major historical museums. Bored me to tears but I can still recite the presidents in multiple different ways recite the constitution." Helena shrugs self-consciously. 

"Christmas is going to be interesting this year. You'll be the subject of several rounds of trivia." Ellie muses, squeezing her hand reassuringly. 

Helena smiles tightly but continues to walk determinedly towards the residence; her hands are flittering nervously under Ellie's palm. No matter how well that get along as individuals, Eleanor Bartlet is a member of this family, and Helena needs to make a favourable impression. More than that she wants two people she genuinely admires as public figures to like her. She has spent plenty of time in embassies and other grand buildings of state, but she was never there as a guest or the focus of attention. 

****

"Are you guys the welcoming committee or what?"

Ellie gives both her sisters a curious look when they both meet them at the top of the stairs leading to the main dining room. Instead of answering Liz pulls her into an enthusiastic hug before turning her attention to Helena. There is an unspoken agreement amongst the sisters that they leave the interrogation of potential dates to the parents. It's especially the case with Ellie and the unique circumstances. 

"I needed to give some ground or Zoey here would have made an honour guard back to Baltimore. I figured the top of the stairs was an easy compromise." 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Zoey. How are your French lessons going?" Helena switches to the language for the question. 

Zoey hesitates before replying with simple sentences doing her best not to forget the tenses, gender and sentence structures. Helena smiles encouragingly before switching back to English for the benefit of the others. 

"You are doing well. The experience of living there will help with those tricky casual contractions and slang terms. Don't be afraid to try, the French can be grumpy but its not too bad in regions you'll be staying." Helena encourages.

With the introductions out of the way, the four dinner companions begin an easy conversation catching up on the latest news. Zoey and Liz take turns putting the couple at ease with comfortable topics. They are bidding time into the main event with the parents, but there is still plenty to discuss. Ellie's new relationship and Zoey's upcoming move is an excuse for the Bartlet sisters to become closer than ever. 

Zoey hung back and pulled Ellie into an enthusiastic side hug. Liz and Helena move ahead deep in conversation about education and the rights of children in various parts of the world. Elizabeth Bartlet Westin has their father's famous ability to put people at ease and move on to topics where the other person shines. 

"It's going to be fine. Mom and Dad are more nervous than you are. They are probably frantically researching GLAAD guidelines and support as we speak. Mom is on that hunt for queer-friendly Catholics and may want to challenge Dr Jacobs to open combat but this dinner will be an easy first step." Zoey whispers, even though the other two are deep in conversation. 

"I can't rely on you two as security blankets forever. What happens when members of Dad's old parish have an opinion? I don't want to cause more trouble..."

"Being yourself is not 'causing trouble' Ellie. Remember we talked about not projecting too far into the future? Dad and Helena will be debating an obscure brunch of hieroglyphics in no time." 

***

"I've heard much about you, Professor Miller." 

Ellie watches with vague curiosity when her father reaches out to greet Helena. Her father's presence can be overwhelming even when he wasn't the leader of the country. Helena is an expert at hiding her nerves, an occupational hazard, but it doesn't take much to see she is a little in awe. Her father's charisma does translate from TV fairly well. Even if he is smaller than better were expecting. The broad range of reactions is strange for a daughter to observe, especially when her father hasn't changed fundamentally since his first election. 

"I imagine you have, Sir. It's a pleasure to meet you, thank you for the dinner invitation." Helena replies, doing an admirable job of hiding the tremble in her voice. 

"You were quite seriously unwell for a while there, how are you feeling? Did my Surgeon General manage to patch you up?" Jed asks amiably as he leads them through the hall. 

"Well I won't be singing any arias anytime soon, but there was no great danger of that in the first place. My lungs are still a little weak and my throat hoarse but well on the well to recovery, thanks in no small part to Dr Griffin." 

The six people took sits around the relatively formal dining table with Jed and Abbey at either end. Liz and Zoey take seats beside Ellie and Helena respectfully in an unspoken agreement to run inference if needs be. 

"You and Ellie have been dating for a while now, I hear I have you to thank for her more frequent trips to the White House and working relationship with the head of her detail" Jed begins without preamble.

"Yes, Sir, for the last few months. Ellie relationship with Agent Foster was doing fine without my input or opinion on the matter. Please feel free to ask me any questions. I was forewarned that amongst your many talents, is the desire to integrate your daughter's companions." 

"Dad..."

***

"How did you and Ellie meet? Medical research and applied linguistics don't seem like natural companions." 

Helena finishes her mouthful and neatly folds her napkin before turning to answer the question. It wouldn't surprise Ellie if her mom knew all this information from Millie already. Abbey Bartlet has a way of making you think you are the centre of the universe. It’s what makes her a brilliant doctor and first lady in turn. There is a reason she got through the MS investigation without further sanctions. 

"No Ma'am they are not, despite both being at John Hopkins. Ellie was in a bind with an important dinner date and some stubborn data. I managed to save the report in question and Agent Foster's schedule." Helena explains before turning to Ellie. 

"I was about to lose a few day’s worth of modelling to the vagaries of cyberspace while trying not to mess with press corps ready makeup look. If Helena hadn't shown up, I may have thrown the whole screen through a window - not something Josh or CJ would appreciate." Ellie expands on the point. 

"Sounds like a promising beginning. There a few things closer to our Ellie's heart that her viral models. It was the same with the science projects in school. Aunt Ellie is Gus's hero was taking the old baking soda volcano to a whole new level." Elizabeth chimes in with an affectionate look to her sister. 

"I think that's where being an aunt can be such an enriching experience—being there to provide another perspective and level of engagement while keeping a relationship with your adult siblings. My brother's children are certainly that for me, especially with the amount of travel that my regular job requires." Helena agrees, casting a nervous glance to the older Bartlet’s in the room. 

"You can be in charge of Annie language homework if you like Helena, she is rapidly outpacing my efforts with less patience, even though I am the 'cool aunt.'" Zoey offers with a hapless shrug. 

"I have many descriptions, but I will never qualify as a 'cool' anything, my geeky quest for knowledge trumps almost everything. My family is mostly the same, so all is forgiven." Helena replies 

"Well, the geeky quest for knowledge has got me pretty far, too far if you ask the devotees of Governor Richie and his folksy charm." Jed points out drily. 

"Yes Sir." Helena agrees still adjusting to the surreal reality of speaking freely with the president. 

"So you must be serious about this relationship if you are familiar with the routines of the grandchildren and have the approval of our other daughters. They like to pretend that Abbey and I are the gatekeepers, but we aren't the Bartlets that cast the deciding vote, never were."

"I am serious about most things, Mr. President. Our relationship is no different." Helena says with a shy smile

"Unfortunately there are going to be more complications than two Catholic parents getting our heads around the different landscape and reality. I wish the only thing you needed to contend with were teaching us how to be supportive in the right way. Even in the best-case scenario, you won't escape the shadow of this address or my many missteps."

"The fact you are asking these questions and are willing to try, puts you ahead of many parents in a similar position, Dad. "Love the sinner, hate the sin can do plenty of damage all on its own." Ellie confides, smiling sadly at her father. 

"That cliche is such a weak interpretation of faith when you are talking about a fundamental aspect of human nature. Concepts of sin need to evolve within a social context, just like all the other passages those people cherry pick." Jed shakes his head in frustration. 

"Sweetheart can I ask you a question?" Abbey her tone turn serious 

Everybody goes silent, recognising the shift—Ellie stills before nodding her posture suddenly stiff and unreadable. Abbey truly hates that all her daughters have a 'political face' that even their parents struggle to read. 

"Is such concerns why you stopped going to church with us regularly and spent all those summers reading? Did someone say something to you..." 

"No Mom, our parishes were all supportive and welcoming for the most part. I truly was a shy child who wanted to read about the natural world and run mini science experiments in the backyard. I wasn't suffering in silence back then. You knew all of my anxieties by heart, honestly." Ellie reaches out and clasps Abbey hand in reassurance.


	10. Dinner with the Bartlets II

_ " The prohibition of science would be contrary to the Bible, which in hundreds of places teaches us how the greatness and the glory of God shine forth marvelously in all His works, and is to be read above all in the open book of the heaven."  _

"Walk with me, Eleanor." 

Ellie Bartlet is genuinely proud of the relationship she is building with her father. They are connecting on an everyday level that is healthier for them both, and there is no metaphorical herd of elephants in the room to suck energy from every interaction. Ellie isn't actively avoiding Washington DC anymore, and her father isn't trying to turn her into an effective campaign surrogate. There is no perfect middle ground in a life that involves the public and politic spotlight, but there is definite progress. At the same time, Ellie will never feel entirely comfortable during a Jed Bartlet heart to heart. 

"I would tell you we approve, but that's fairly self-evident with your mother fussing over her and finding out the family's schedule for the next six or twenty-six public holidays." Jed Bartlet jokes as they circle the rose garden. 

It's true, once the awkward and slightly painful parts of the evening were over with, Abbey and Liz took charge. If you are going to date a Bartlet daughter connecting with the family is almost mandatory. While things are different from the lofty heights of the White House, the principle remains the same. Helena seems relatively at ease and patiently answers all the questions and comments.

"When you start seeing Helena in public, all the aspects of my job that you hate so much will come into play. I will do everything in my not inconsiderable power to make things easier, but there are no guarantees, even if we didn't have a hostile Senate." Jed's voice is a mixture of sorrow and steel. 

"I know Dad; I didn't call a meeting with Amy and CJ for the hell of it. They are both going to help me shape the narrative. I've clung to my childish resentments for about 15 years too long." Ellie says with a sheepish shrug. 

"You shouldn't lie to your mother, Eleanor Emily but I know why you did, even if it wasn't so conscious." Jed says quietly before stuffing his hands further into his pockets. 

"What do you mean, Dad?" Ellie asks genuine curious 

"You weren't suffering in silence or tormented as bad as some, but that isn't a high standard, I think you were afraid to be different, even if it was just not the same as your sisters. Our church back home needed to do more than take the easy route denouncing extremists." Jed explains meeting her eyes. 

"Not everything is a wider problem that you can solve, Dad. Even with the power behind the office." Ellie leans in closer for a hug. 

"Yes, but a father should be able to protect all his daughters, especially when I was the one found wanting against your Uncle John. That Dr Keyworth might be worth the $350 hours, he is charging me. You and I will start having some real conversations, without jokes or deflections about Galileo."

"Okay but for the record, I'm with you on the science humour."

***

"Invite Helena to any event you like." 

"By which you mean any social event that Dad can convince me to attend minus the lab coat and conversations about viruses and their life cycles?" Ellie asks jokingly. 

Ellie makes the quip as she enters the room Helena and her mother are sitting in the middle of the lounge. Thankfully the albums of baby photos are nowhere in sight. Helena looks vaguely relieved, so see her and subtly gestures to the seat beside her on the couch. Jed Bartlet would be the first to claim that his wife is the real person with power and charisma in the relationships. She only stays off any ballots because that would take away from her passion for health and women's issues. The force of her personality can be overwhelming even for somebody who was a fan already. 

"I promise to keep you away from the dog and pony show if you are my date for the Food in School outreach circuit. Your sister is pulling double duty with Doug in December." Abbey barters airily. 

"I'll talk to Dr Lewis about the case loud and how much lab time I need this cycle. Marco is looking for extra hours in the lab for his clinical rotation, shouldn't be a problem." Ellie tries to sound enthusiastic but doesn't quite succeed. 

"I am finished with teaching so we could make a mini road trip out of the first free speaking spots, Ellie. Your mom is hoping to pass some amazing things into the next health budget."

If Ellie is honest with herself, which tries to be nowadays, the last thing she feels like doing is Professional Mother-Daughter bonding. Liz and Zoey are experts as acting as both surrogates on the campaign and champion for their family’s charitable causes. While all public health programmes are close to her heart, few make such a trip appealing prospect. However, with Zo in France, somebody needs to be on call with Liz doing a heavy load in New Hampshire. Besides, an excise to spend time with Helena and her mom is compensation. 

"If we are seen together at an official event, there will be questions and comments. It was a nightmare for Charlie, and he had official credentials at the time." Ellie points out, looking regretful. 

"We still have several weeks to make any final decisions. I'll let you know the dates next week, and we can nut of the basics. My Chief of Staff has a bit between her teeth and is willing to badger your father for the nuclear codes if the media forces your hand." Abbey says abruptly standing to reach for more wine. 

"I would gladly hand them over, not that Amy Gardner would need to go through official, that woman has more influence than Fitz and the rest of the Chiefs put together." Jed calls out. 

"You are just bitter because Leo isn't the king of every political room anymore. My legislative agenda is on the table now deal with it, Jethro." Abbey quips back affectionately. 

"You agenda in anything has had my attention since we were kids in college, Dr Bartlet." 

***

"How are you holding up?" 

Ellie manages to snag Helena somewhere in the evening between a decision about education in Egypt and the life of Luke, the apostle. She is lingering in the corner, sipping her glass of water. Ellie stands beside her watching the scene Zoey and Liz are grinning over the latest pictures of Gus and Annie. Her niece and nephew will be making the next visit, and Ellie is feeling confidant of introducing Helena then, complete with title and place at the holiday dinner table. The Westin children were about as liberal as Doug's parents will allow them to me, and there shouldn't be a problem.

"Everything is slightly surreal, but I enjoy chatting with your parents about history.”

"You are making a good impression if it’s any consolation. My sisters did plenty of groundwork for you, which wasn't the case for Theo or my last few boyfriends. They were all for the rebellion against our parents’ rules but not the end result." Ellie confides gesturing to her sisters at the other side of the room. 

"Theo didn't treat you well did he Ellie. Despite the effectiveness in getting under everyone’s skin and creating a few headaches for the staff here. There is more to the tale than you are saying." 

"There has been a time when I wasn't treating myself particularly well for multiple reasons. Theo was following a pattern that I started. Things are much better now." 

"If you ever want to talk about such things, please know that I am here to lend an ear." Helena offers firmly reaching for her hand. 

"I promise. Let's rejoin the party. Mom is experimenting with a new coffee blend and it smells good." 

Helena nods easily before allowing Ellie to pull her towards the dining table where the others are gathering. 

"I am still reserving you for my team on the next Bartlet Family Trivia Night."

***

"Will you come down and meet my family on mass?"

We are driving down back to Baltimore in the easy flow of evening traffic. Helena sounds nervous as she asks the question, keeping her eyes firmly on the road. For a moment, Ellie is uncertain. She is far from a secret to Helena's family; they even know that she is the president's daughter. Helena's father knows a thing or two about diplomatic procedures, so they manage to take the news without too much shock. Helena's sister Allegra visits a few times, and Ellie can see the connection between the two. It reminds Ellie of her relationship with Zoey and Liz. 

"Sure. Do you guys have a version of our trivia nights, should I brush up on my knowledge of all things current events?" Ellie asks

"While our conversions can get fairly heated and cover a broad range of topics, there is no official scoreboard. My brother Tariq got a promotion at work, and his very proud wife is throwing a celebration. Will be in charge of supervising the youngsters. The noise level will be high, but the food should be fair compensation. I'll talk to Foster and the team about any security measures..." Helena's hands start to drum on the steering wheel. 

"Pull over for a sec." Ellie instructs now that they are in the suburban streets of Baltimore. 

Helena gives her a questioning look but follows the directive. The secret service agents who are tailing them will not be happy with this decision, but there are hidden places where they can keep them without viewing distances. The route between Washington DC is a familiar one to Ellie's protective detail, and there are few hidden dangers. Helena cuts the engine and turns to face Ellie with a mixture of apprehension and a level skepticism. Ellie is normally super keen to get home.

"Meeting the family is an important part of any relationship, especially with how strong each of our roots is to us as individuals. My family may dominate the news cycle and have records in congress. That doesn't mean that meeting your relatives and making a good impression is any less of a priority for me. I'll make the trip and hopefully many after, both big and small. Prepare for a grilling on the ages and stages of Sasha and the other members of the family tree." Ellie says, weaving their hands together in a firm grasp. 

"That sounds all kinds of wonderful; I'll let Momma know to expect a few extra guests. She may insist on feeding the agents, whatever the regulations say about such things." Helena leans over and kisses Ellie gently. 

"Sounds like an appealing dilemma to have if your sister's offerings are examples of the food on offer. Let's get out of here."

****

Ellie is feeling a mixture of relief and exhaustion.

Telling her parents and getting the first meeting at the White House out of the way feels like a major milestone. Even if her father was not the current president, the Bartlet experience is still something to behold. Helena didn't seem to find the time too daunting and held her own with the opinions flying at the table. The last point puts her above Ellie's last two ex-boyfriends. At the same time, the linguist cannot contribute to full credit; Ellie is feeling more confidant and free with her emotions. She doesn't have the deep roots of anger that spot each time she sees or father. 

These easing of the tension is why she is  _ willing  _ coming back to Washington to discuss the political ramifications of her new relationship. CJ and Amy are working hard to avoid any leeks to unfriendly tabloids and are gently encouraging Ellie to get ahead of the story. Ellie still resents the idea of there being meetings on who she is dating, but if you are going to fight, these are the people you want in your corner. 

"Do you think we can duck out to Wendy's for a few burgers instead of discussing my future with the cream of the Democratic group think?" Ellie asks the secret service agent as she passes

"Josephine Lucas, don't you dare suggest we run a poll about my daughter and her private life."

Joey Lucas has somehow to become the pollster of choice for the Bartlet Administration without actively applying for the job. The handling of the MS diagnosis and running the secret poll did give her some credence, but the situation still feels surreal. While some in the field, including ex-boyfriends, scoff at the idea of such association it suits her just fine. It's much easier to be on the inside of the Washington Machine than running a thankless campaign for O'Dwyer. This president's particular values align easier enough with hers, which counts for something. It still feels rather surreal to be on the receiving end of a mild scolding. Kenny's normally unflappable signs are shaking with the awe at the message he is conveying.

"No Sir, It would be pointless to do something so tackles and transparent. Such a poll would get both sides mad at us for no gain. We can find a way to help guide the narrative and make your statements and protective instincts more effective. There is historical strategies when can draw from before deciding." Joey agrees carefully watching the man for a response.

Jed Bartlet is about to reply when he catches sight of his middle daughter entering the room. Joey and Kenny pause their signing conversation respectfully as the President ushers her over. Amy, CJ and a few other members of the inner circle appear from different corners of the large space, ready for the conversations to begin in earnest. 

"Joey Lucas, I'd you to meet my middle daughter, Eleanor. A second generation Bartlet daughter. Ellie this is the woman who strikes fear into the heart of any politician looking for a report card. Joey is going to help us keep the crackpots at bay." Jed insists rather grandly on both counts. 

_ "My ASL skills are extremely rusty, but I took courses in undergrad. Its lovely to meet you."  _ Ellie makes the gestures slowly and haltingly pausing between words. 

_ "We'll be happy to give you some lessons while at the White House."  _ Joey gestures towards Kenny. 

The people in the room fall into a relatively easy conversation about public perceptions and the comparative merits of different approaches. Jed stays for far longer than the government can strictly afford for him to be away from matters of state. Ellie eventually encourages him to give poor Debbie a break and start following his official schedule again. Ellie needs to start handling these things with relative independence, and a room for allies is an excellent place to start. Abbey refuses to leave her side and gives an arch look when Ellie suggests she has a schedule as well. Ellie isn't entirely sure where the next few weeks are going to lead her, and she is afraid of the relentless attention, but the unwavering support of these people and the shared mission is a good place to start. 

***

Ellie is taking her sisters out to thank them for their support and to see Zoey off in style before the official celebrations begin. The time in the White House with their dad's team was daunting enough, not spending some time alone with her favourite people was unthinkable. Thankfully there is a football game tonight, and the movements of the first children play second fiddle. Ellie is too happy to be mad that some of these photos will doubtless end up on the Westin social media pages. Liz is an expert at managing the family brand.

"We are going to miss you so much, Zo but France will be such an adventure. You can head over to Italy and wow the locals with your fluency and abiding love of real gelato." Liz gives her sister a big hug before pouring another glass of wine. 

"I'm going to miss everyone too but if Dad has his way. The Bartlet Administration is going to have the best diplomatic relations with our European neighbours in history. Maybe Helena will sore a gig as a chief translator so he can grill her some more?" Zoey shoots an affectionate look at Ellie. 

"Don't joke about such things. This whole meeting the family deal is still new to me, even if Helena is being wonderful about and isn't running for the Republican hills." Ellie fiddles with her strew and flights the blush that stains her cheeks. 

"You both did fine Ellie quit fretting. But I am on the first flight back the second anything becomes public, and there is a hint of trouble. Seriously Molly and the new detail have standing orders. 

Ellie feels her eyes mist and the fierce determination in her sister's voice. Liz looks equally unwavering as she nods in agreement. Ellie cannot always claim to understand her sisters, or they her, but this new situation has strengthened the bonds of childhood. The club of people that understand the pressures of being a President's child is very small. The nature of the political beast means that the last Democrat president's children are considerably older. Siblings are often the only people available for this type of comfort. 

"I'm heading out to visit Helena's family at something of a reunion. It feels like a big step, especially as multiple generations will be there and I'm the first-person Helena has brought home in a long time." Ellie confides blushing slightly. 

"Can it be any more difficult than Jed Bartlet 101?"

"A different kind of madness, I think." 

The picture that they took that night will end up in Ellie's office next to the med school graduation and a shot of Helena during movie night. 


	11. Meeting Ellie Bartletts

_ "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."  _ Galileo Galilei

"You need to relax, Lena; everything is going to be alright. Your father and I have plenty of experience with high ranking officials. We also have to experience meeting prospective fathers. There is no cause for alarm on either count." 

Helena smiles at her mother, who doesn't bother to look up from the food she is preparing for lunch. Predictably her parents were somewhat startled to the realisation that 'Ellie, the medical researcher' was also Eleanor Bartlet and a member of that famous family. It took everyone several days to adjust, but everyone was generally supportive. Tariq's children were even willing to keep the secret for now. 

"She won't relax, Grandma. Aunt Helena wants everything to be perfect while trying to do her 'serious professor' face." Sasha chimes in from the doorway. 

"Hey this 'serious professor' face is useful when signature canvassing for you multiple times, doesn't that deserve some credit, Sash?"

"Of course, its just weird to see you like this, its normally you calming everyone else down." Sasha replies, sounding baffled. 

Helena gives her niece a mock glare as she moves out of the kitchen into the main living space. The teenager isn't wrong; there is no way she will relax until midway through the visit. For so long, she and Ellie did not have a relationship outside the walls of their respective apartments. Most of the environments were subject to a secret service sweep through and expectation. Connecting their separate family will almost guarantee that word gets out, there are only so many things you can control. 

"I'll trust you to tell me if I start to ramble and overshare about obscure life events or the geopolitical situation in Cairo, oddly appropriate when meeting her father but not here." Helena gives her niece an earnest look. 

"Interrupt you if you start comparing the infrastructure policies and financial risk managements, got it." Sasha nods earnestly. 

***

It's strange to see her girlfriend on TV as she waits for her to arrive. 

Helena knows that Ellie is the exception to most famous people and even an oddity in her family. She actively avoids the stoplight, and therefore, their relationship is quiet and largely in private. Even with the entire West Wing in the loop now. Helena doesn't actively seek out the information or tune into the regular newscasts. However, a couple of the afternoon shows are covering Zoey Bartlet's graduation ceremony and the happy shots of the first family marking the occasion. The people on the screen feel removed from the warm individuals who welcomed her into the residence.

"Are you ready to be on that screen at the next family event?" her mother's question is quiet but seriously. 

"I don't think one can ever be truly ready for such an adjustment into the public eye, even the second generation who grow up with such things struggle. All I can say with confidence is that Ellie is doing her best to help me prepare. A level of scrutiny was always a possibility when I was foolish or brave enough to ask her out that first time." Helena tugs on her necklace in a nervous gesture. 

"Brave, Helena. If your current levels of happiness are anything to go by, but we worry for you. Public life will not be easy for somebody who often works in the regions back home. Anonymity is one of the hallmarks of that life." Shani's tone is gentle and respectful. 

"I do not need to be an active translator in the field to use my skills, Muma. Teaching at John Hopkins has been an enjoyable change of pace and there are several opportunities in the more theoretical side of translation. I have at least three book translation offers, for instance." Helena tries to soothe both the parental concern and her nerves. 

"Professionally, I have no doubt you will make anything work, Darling. There is just no parenting guide for when your child is facing this kind of pressure. Even when you are in your 30s, the urge to protect will always be there."

Helena leans offer and hugs her mother for a long moment. There wasn't much she could do to ease her fears at that moment. There are too many unknowable variables. The biggest being exactly how much of a stir this new relationship will cause in an America that is theoretically 2 or 3 decades past the major LGBT rights movements. Historically political families are meant to reflect the modern family, that people can relate to on a particular level. How much modernity is the general public ready to face? 

"I am better for knowing that I have you guys to come home to and Sasha to tease me out of being too serious all the time. It will be that way long after my hair turns gray." Helena answers honestly. 

"I love you, Helena." 

"I love you too, Muma." 

Shani quickly turns the topic of conversation to more practical matters, wanting to get the process for 'unofficially' hosting the secret service right. Ellie is not a fussy dinner guest by nature, but she was subject to several interrogations about what she would prefer to eat. Helena is feeling as ready as possible. 

***

The preparation work is daunting and logistically complicated. 

Helena is no stranger to the protocol for political figures. Much of her working life involves shadowing politicians in and out of security arrangements. A translator is simply one of many staff who orbit around these influential people. The peace talks in Israel were particularly memorable for the scheduling and briefings. Congresswoman Wyatt tries to bring the same team with her every visit, and so Helena is familiar with the inner workings of places with both disputed territories and controversial figures. At the same time, if Helena does her job right, nobody will have any reason to remember her. Honesty, she was mildly surprised when Andi Wyatt knew her enough to make the request. 

The situation is entirely different when you are inviting the president's daughter to a family party. Helena is at the centre of the procedures. She is liaising with members of Ellie's detail and providing specifications for her brother's house. The threat level isn't high, as they are in a safe area, but every potential threat is serious until proven otherwise. President Bartlet is legendary for having a closer than usual relationship with his head of security mainly because he is bound and determined to keep his family safe. 

"Are you sure we don't need to invite her escorts in or point an extra table in the backyard? It's no trouble to make up a place for them?" Tariq asks as he rearranges the deck chairs. 

"It's against protocol for there to be interaction on that level. The agents are working at a specific task and will not appreciate the disruption of social niceties. I'm sure Ellie will sneak them leftovers for the end of a shift though. This team is the same detail she has had for a while. 

"Are you sure there is no protocol for addressing your Ellie? It seems weird to just go for Ellie or Eleanor when this woman has danced with kings and met the people in the posters on my children's walls." Tariq confesses with a sheepish smile. 

"There is no need to abandon your equal society leftist leanings for the sake of this particular Bartlet. Even if this was a formal occasion and not a social gathering, Ellie doesn't stand on ceremony. The promise not to gossip or take any sneaky photographs is enough." Helena says with a reassuring smile. 

"I think the kids are enjoying the idea of being part of something adult and grown. The shooting of President Bartlet and the idea that the family could be hurt affected them I think." Tariq muses out loud. 

"They are ok with the idea of Aunt Helena bringing someone home to meet them as a general concept. I know they are still fond of Mathew?" Helena tries to keep the worry from her tone. 

"To the extent, they give your romantic life a singe thought, I believe you should give you niece and nephews credit. They want you to be happy and have the benefit of being raised by two liberals. 

***

"She here and she's early, there is only two cars."

Helena smiles at the level of disappointment in her niece's tone. Sasha was most likely expecting a full presidential motorcade or something with sirens. Aside from Ellie being obsessive about keeping a low profile. The Bartlet family has a reputation for being frugal and continuous, trying to avoid disrupting the local communities with the full spectacle of the office. This trait is especially true when it comes to private events for members of the family. The three Bartlet sisters can often move around with relative freedom. 

"Ellie isn't making a state visit, Sash. She doesn't need a whole squad with her."

"Then why are you running around like the house is on fire and repeating the same instructions at least four times in two different languages?. You can't tell us to 'act normal' before chattering away about table settings. Dad is getting a promotion at work, not a medal." Sasha points, giving her aunt a sceptical look.

"I'm bringing somebody home to meet my entire family, I mix languages when I get nervous, you know this about me, N1." Helena jokes using the childhood nickname.

"Did she analyse your snot and change your clothes while you were sick and coughing so much you could barely sit up? Aunt Allegra said she kept tracking your spit. That means she is into you, obviously." Sasha seems fairly pleased to be imparting this level of information. 

"Go and tell your grandmother that the guests are here." Helena makes a shooing motion. 

Under ordinary circumstances, a date arriving early  _ (is what?) _ but Ellie is always on a precise schedule. Today she is attending Zoey's graduation ahead of a private family lunch celebration. Helena suggests that another day might be more suitable, but Ellie insists that she will enjoy the excuse to escape before Zoey(?) goes out to party. 

****

It's testament to the expertise of Ellie's detail that she gets in the room without too much drama or problems. They form a perimeter around the house and do their best to remain unobtrusive. Ellie knocks on the door holding a few packages and a nervous smile. Her sister beats her to the introduction. The rest of the family hangs back respectfully doing their best to be welcoming. 

"It's lovely to see you again, Ellie." Allegra grins before bounding over. 

Helena resists the urge to protect Ellie from the onslaught of her family as a collective. Allegra already knows her and is doing to her best to remain calm. Her younger sister already likes and respects Ellie makes no secret that she hopes they go the distance. Helena suspects that part of that optimism Allegra wants to score an invitation to the White House. However, she will take acceptance in whatever form it comes along. 

"You too, Allegra. I brought you some of those biscuits you liked last time, I added a little more coca this time. Since Helena would  _ (wouldn’t?) _ like me bring anything official." Ellie hands out the offering rather sheepishly. 

"Ah bribery in the form of sugar, I like the way you think, Eleanor." Allegra says with a teasing smile. 

"Hush, youngest daughter, mine." Helena's mother steps up with a broad smile on her face. 

"Eleanor, it is a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for looking after my daughter in the last few weeks. Her asthma can be a frightening thing to see up close. I'm so glad you could join us. Please call me, Sara." Sara smiles and gestures everyone in the room. 

"Thank you for having me Shani ( _Sara or Shani?)._ I was happy to be there for Helena." Ellie says happily and accepts a quick hug before turning to regard Helena. 

"Zoey was eager to meet up with her friends and start celebrating in earnest, and both Mom and Dad were running behind schedule because he couldn't stop recounting Zo's life history from about the five-minute mark, hence arriving early." Ellie explains, looking both excited and self-conscious at the moment.

Helena grins broadly reaching out to give the other woman a brief hug and kiss on the check. They are both still adjusting to the reality of being open about their relationship, even amongst family members. Her family brushes the moment aside as unremarkable, and in some ways it was, Ellie isn't the first person to come home to meet the family. 

"Come I will introduce you to the rest of the troops who are in various locations and starting to grumble about feeding time. Since you are here ahead of schedule, we can roll out the snacks. Lena says you are partial to anything with hummus and a veggie spread?" Shani expertly manoeuvres Ellie out of the room. 

Helena obediently follows her mother's unspoken commend and trails them into the kitchen, listening as Allegra catches Ellie up on progress at work. She catches a glimpse of Foster and the team, and as always they are working hard to avoid notice. Still, Helena finds comfort in knowing they are protecting her girlfriend. 

***

"She's a wonderful person I can see why you are going through so much effort with this one, Lena." Tariq says as they work the grill together.

"I hope you didn't feel too put out. My new girlfriend is somewhat taking away from the celebration of your promotion." Helena frets as she turns the veggie skewers. 

"I know you spend most of your life in different countries, Helena, but you do remember that I am the introverted sibling, right? The only reason my children are halfway socially competent is that I had the good fortune to marry somebody who is amazing at all things including dealing with other people." Tariq reminds her with a teasing smile. 

Helena scoffs and gently nudges her brother for the joke. He isn't that much of an introvert. He is right about choosing a fantastic wife who balances out his tendency to get lost in his head and forget the real world. If Ellie is going to meet her family at any time, the safe space of Tariq, Jessica and the kids is a brilliant place to start. As it is, Ellie is in her happy place, talking about the potential benefits for an HPV treatment or management system. Her dad is an engineer and knows little about the topic per se, but they are bonding over the border scientific principles.

"It must be getting pretty serious if you are braving going to the White House for more than the signature M&Ms or the Gift shop, plus the whole collapsing at her place in a wheezy asthmatic mess?" Tariq keeps his voice light as he serves the food onto plates. 

"If it had any chance of  _ becoming  _ a meaningful relationship than going to the residence wasn't an option. It was either that or sneaking around in the shadows, just waiting for an unfriendly paparazzi to snap a photo and draw the wrong or the right conclusion. Ellie's life is challenging enough with adding that level of complication." Helena replies practically. 

"I can only imagine, but I worry about you, little sis. For the right kind of people, there is plenty to find objectionable about our family and you in particular." 

"As we speak some poor unfortunate intern has the job of sifting through my teenage anarchy and essays. There is no way to get ready entirely but everyone getting things in place." Helena explains, trying for a brave smile. 

"Call me any time day or night, sis. I mean Helena." her brother says sternly. 

Helena impulsively reaches over and gives him a side hug before going over to bring the plates inside. She feels lighter for having so many supportive people in her corner. In a way, this is another 'protective bubble', but it still feels like an achievement. 

***

Her mother promises not to interrogate her girlfriend. It turns out the family matriarch was the least of her worries. Curiosity and protectiveness run in the family. 

Helena trusts her mother in just about things. It was her mother who she went to when she realises that marrying Mathew is not the right choice for either of them. Her mother is the one who set her on the right path after the post-divorce hijinks. Her mother took the brunt of her rebellion about not wanting to be in America in the first place. Telling her parents about Eleanor and their relationship was a nerve-wracking experience, but Helena is fortunate to have faith in her family's inherent support and togetherness. 

"So Ellie, Helena tells me that you two met over corrupted data and a pressing schedule. I imagine it can't be easy finding time to do much socialising between the duties of a research fellow and family obligations." Shani comments while cutting up her meat. 

"Not really, no, most of my friends exist in the world of viruses; we all speak a similar language. Modelling and loading. Nobody minds if you skip out to get back to the microscope." Ellie explains, smiling at the older woman. 

"My husband and I get the same way when it comes to engineering. I can imagine that there isn't much of a cross over between HPV modelling and applied linguistics?" Shani asks raising an eyebrow. 

"Will Aunt Helena get a code name now that she is dating you, Ellie?" Sasha couldn't resist chipping in an observation. 

"Such things are not automatic; there is a whole process that takes time." Ellie explains quickly shuffling nervously. 

"I have some suggestions that you can pass on..." Sasha continues 

"It's also none of our business. Remember we talked about this, children. There are certain topics that Eleanor can't  share  and we will respect those limits." Shani eyes each of the youngest family members in turn. 

"But what happens when Aunty leaves again. She doesn't like to stay in the US much; she's gone all over the world, at least twice!" Yossi offers his insights from the other end of the table. 

"I haven't gone that far; it's mainly many flights to the same location. You make me sound like the ultimate nomad, Yossi." Helena feels her face flush with heat. 

"Our plans are a bit up in the air at the moment. I might have to do a fair amount of moving around as well, especially if I do fieldwork."

"Which is also none of our business, let's clean-up for dessert before you lot head to bed."

Ellie reaches out and grabs Helena's hand in a spontaneous show of affection. It's heartening to know that nobody pays them the slightest bit of attention. There are problems and questions to sort out, of geography, politics and public opinion. However, right now feels like a good moment worth celebrating with that single gesture. 


	12. Finding Zoey I

_ "My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present." _

Agent Foster doesn't need to say anything before Ellie Bartlet starts to run. 

A security detail is part of her daily, however reluctantly. She spent enough time waging war with these agents to know their habits and procedures—Foster, in particular works hard to remain in the background and respect her privacy during social events. The understanding between protector and protectee only grows now that Ellie is doing more than her loop from The White House, Work and Home. Even when the worst happened, and somebody shot Dad, the agents were calm, took her through the steps with dignity and care. She was on the phone with Mom, Liz and Zoey within 10 minutes and getting updates on dad within 15, complete with bad jokes. 

The current situation is entirely different, and Ellie can feel terror sink into her bones. Six agents come sprinting into the backyard, making no efforts to conceal themselves. The normally silent com units are blaring with commands and static. Foster looks so pale and horrified that Ellie fears he may be going into shock, but then she is no position to judge, her hands are going numb, and everything is tilting at an unnatural angle. It's a good thing they meet halfway; it's unlikely she could walk any further. Helena is in step with her and profiles a comforting presence. 

"Dr Bartlet, we need to evacuate to Washington right now. Molly O'Brien is dead, and the assailants managed to abduct your sister, Zoey from the graduation party. The first family is in emergency lockdown protocol; agents are bringing everyone to the White House." Foster strives for calm, but his voice shakes. 

Ellie feels her knees go weak, which it turns out maybe an accurate cliche.

Molly O'Brien was on her detail for several months and was pleasant and polite in the way of all the team. Shooting a highly trained secret service takes this situation to a whole new level, all the drills about dangers suddenly pale in comparison. Zoey is her baby sister and is still sometimes afraid of the dark even though she is the bravest of them all. 

"Where is she? Who took her?" Ellie asks the questions already knowing there will be no answers. 

"We have no specific information as yet. There are teams of agents at police at the scene and providing constant updates. My priority needs to be getting you to a safe place, Dr Bartlet." Foster is already propelling them forward. 

Ellie distantly remembers all the horror stories about the family members of the leaders being killed in far of countries with greater political instability. The prospect of America joining those ranks was remote until right now. Her father is currently in an impossible situation that was the nightmare scenario for the founding fathers and generations of constitutional scholars alike. 

The next few moments are a frantic combination of movement and noise. Foster is leading her to the convoy of cars, whose lights are already flashing. Several other agents stay behind to talk with Helena's family. The combination of fairy lights from the deck and sirens is jarring and makes Ellie feel sick and dizzy. She huddles further into Helena, letting her companion to most of her weight. All she can think about is the stupid fight with Zo about going too far with the French Princeling. If only that's where their problems end. 

***

The question of Helena coming was a moot point.

Ellie refuses to release the taller woman's hand even for a moment, so they both move along with the tide of secret service agents. Helena is calling to her parents in Arabic, doubtlessly something reassuring. Distantly Ellie feels an element of guilt for ruining the party. The fact she managed to summon the courage to inform her parents and the West Wing staff is fortunate in practical terms. It would be almost impossible to get anybody through screening now; even her distant Bartlet cousins may find it difficult to gain immediate access. Zoey wide and expansive friendship group was always a source of concern and contention. 

Helena is already in all the security lists and background digging. Her dad's temper will already be on a knife-edge, and a stranger in the middle of a family crisis is the last thing their fledgeling relationship needs. She learnt that unwritten rule the hard way when she brought a boyfriend round soon after his first MS attack. Jed Bartlet likes to be at his strongest when confronting potential suiters. Both father and daughter are as stubborn as each other, and there were some legendary scenes. Helena may still be in the early stages of the Bartlet introduction, but at least the inner circle will not question her presence in the sacred spaces. 

"Please stay with me." Ellie whispers around the constriction in her throat. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Ellie. I'll stay with you until Zoey home safe, no matter what." Helena reassures her quickly.

Helena lets go of her hand only long enough to pull Ellie against her and rearranging their seating positions in the back of the vehicle. They are the middle car in a small fleet with her most senior agents. The driver is calling codes that Ellie has never heard before in her father's years in office or even with the training from Ron Butterfield. The car is travelling at what would be frightening speed, but Ellie is grateful for the ability to get to her family faster. For once, the grand intimidating building on Pennsylvania Avenue will be a source of comfort and not intimidation. 

Ellie recognises the symptoms of shock and trauma only in the abstract sense. 

"Don't make any sudden moves, sweetheart. Your blood pressure is likely spiking." Helena knows that Ellie would despise drawing even more attention. 

The conventional wisdom about 'running on auto pilot' isn't strictly true in her experience. Ellie sincerely doubts she could  _ do  _ anything right now Helena wasn't listening to the agents and following instructions. Ellie feels like she is watching a play and not participating in any events. One of the agents may be checking her pulse, but the touch feels distant and disconnected from reality. She had gone through similar experiences when her father first received the diagnosis and then with the shooting. Of course, the idea of her parents being targets is an unfortunate reality, but her sisters were always way her emotional mainstays. 

Even, Helena, who normally provides such a comforting presence, sounds like she is talking from far away. Ellie is focusing on breathing in and out, trying to keep from passing out. The agents don't need to speak to her directly her schedule for the last couple of days aligns with the official White House schedule. There is no need information Ellie can provide on any suspicious activity or approaches from strangers. The agents must be going through their own hell with a member on the way to the morgue. 

"Zoey was always the one with the highest profile, Dad's sidekick, the one that did all the Washington events, with a semi-permanent room in residence. Liz and I were always visitors to that world." Ellie whispers against Helena's shoulder. 

"The collective forces of the American government are looking for her, Ellie. That notoriety will mean that the search party will include regular people in every state, in the unlikely event they make it out." Helena replies. 

Ellie wants to take comfort in the words, but all she can hear is all the terrible things the white supremacists said about Zoey and Charlie. There is always a level of criticism for high profile daughters or sons, mainly daughters. However, the misgivings about Liz's marriage or Ellie's career path pale in comparison. These people were angry, specific and violent. The terrifying thing is that the first family only learns about the threats that the security services deemed to share. Plenty of letters, photos, demands and claims stay in the shadows of the archive. Zoey Patricia Bartlet has enemies in all the 50 states as well. People who views are extreme enough to kill without remorse. 

***

"Zoey wasn't truthful with reporters, and she lied to our parents."

It's strange the things that flitter in and out of her mind as they make the short trip back to Washington. There are no delays for things like traffic lights, but every minute feels like it stretches in a violation of fundamental laws. The agents are in constant communication with their counterparts on other details, but they cannot provide any information that Ellie desperately needs to hear. She and Helena have no privacy to speak of, but such concerns are secondary at this point. 

"What do you mean, Sweetheart?" Helena keeps her voice even and slow. 

"I mean that that story with the big Democratic donor's son from a few years ago isn't the only story. She doesn't have a secret problem with drugs or anything. My sister was celebrating graduation with people who have serious habits. She could be out there in the dark, out of her mind. With people willing to do God's knows what to her or the government 

by extension." Ellie gives voice to her worst fears in a jumbled mess and high pitch. 

"Ellie, that is just one of many scenarios. You told me that your sister is working hard to help her friends with those problems and  _ hates  _ the feeling of being under the influence. Zoey is strong and resourceful with the best team fighting for her. No group would go through the risk of taking her to casually disregard her life." Helena sounds like she is grasping at hope. 

Sadly, Helena Miller also speaks from a position of a little authority. Egypt went through a period of great instability during her childhood. There were plenty of assassination and ransom efforts during her early days of translation at the UN as well. Such things are a relative rarity in the US. 

"Unless they panic and realise that they are in fact holding the daughter of the most powerful man on the planet and the most protective father alive." Ellie argues grimly. 

***

"Mom will blame Dad for this, and she already resents the second term. If anything happens to her....or we see things splashed on the news.." Ellie points out a few minutes and miles later. 

On an intellectual level, Ellie understands that her family will always be in a position of celebrity. Her father won a Nobel Prize after all. But she hates the fact all of this crisis will be playing out on the news cycle. All her sister's childhood photos will be playing on loop on TV screen across the country. She knows that her father will still need to think about tensions with China and trade issues with Toronto even as people frantically search for his child. The cracks in her parent's marriage may buckle under strain. 

"Eleanor, stop stockpiling worries and fears beyond the immediate. We'll take everything one moment at a time. We have ten minutes to get to the White House. Your parents and Liz will be there, and there may be more information." Helena instructs with an edge to her tone. 

"I'm a Bartlet; everything we do has wider implications, including facing a kidnapping. Some ambitious congressional aide will already be looking at the stock market implications or bipartisan manoeuvres. Our family is public property. Our darkest day won't be any different." Ellie says bitterly not bothering to wipe away tears. 

"I know but finding your sister is the centre of everyone's universe right now. Repercussions will come later." Helena strokes her check and glances out the wide as they hit the outskirts of Washington. 

"Can you apologise to your sister in law for the destruction of her roses, I know she loves those bushes?" Ellie asks with the same flat, disconnected tone. 

"The plants will grow again. My family is fine. Your mind is racing and grabbing at things to focus on, we will be there soon. Keep breathing Ellie."

For once, Ellie let her mind drift away. She went through many different forms of mental training to deal with her anxiety, but only a few things stuck. Such as the value of breathing well and not trying to fight the huge spikes of tension and emotion that arrive like waves. As with everything, there is no handbook for dealing with this aspect of being a first daughter. One thing is for sure; she won't be 'sensitive Ellie' who needs care and monitoring. She will stand strong for her family and make Zoey proud. She will have a strong family unit to come back to, however, long that takes. 

Ellie finds her childhood faith comforting in moments like this, although she cannot claim to be devout like her parents. 

Her faith is a private affair, but she hasn't found a church that resources with her in Baltimore. For the most part, she doesn't need an institution to feel the connection to God. Now in the back of the car, she prays more fiercely than she has in years. The familiar words and verses echo in her head, sounding like her father on Sunday. She doesn't wear her communion cross often, but at times like this, she misses the weight. Ellie can't be sure, but Helena might be whispering the same words in her native tongue. 

"Can somebody call Father Thomas Cavanaugh for Dad?, he will want a priest there. Is there any way for him to fly here?" Ellie calls out to the agents in the front.

"Not immediately, Dr Bartlet. However, the priests in service to the White House are on standby as is the Washington National Cathedral." the agent offers an apologetic look. 

Ellie wants to protest and say her father needs the familiar right now. He needs the men that were more parental figures than the intimidating Headmaster Bartlet. For Jed Bartlet, his faith is not a performance art that he can do with anybody or in any place. That particular place of worship only holds bad memories and troubles. However, plenty of president's and leaders preform the mourning rights in public. 

"The switchboards will be about to arrange phone calls, Ellie. Few people will be sleeping tonight. Your father will have plenty of support spiritually."

Ellie is strangely mesmerised by the sight of the White House. Even the private entrance as such a high of the abnormal activity. Agents are swarming everywhere she looks, and there are light and noise. She and Helena are once again caught in the tide of the moment, her personal agents giving way to White House security forces. Nobody questions Helena's presence, but Ellie grabs her hand with bone-crushing strength any way as a preventative pressure. 

The only thing that matters right now is that her parents are waiting. 

***

"Ellie, come here sweetheart." 

Ellie Bartlet is not ashamed to admit that her mother is one of the cornerstones of her universe, and this will never change. She can't bring herself to resent all the special circumstances that got her here faster. The joke in the family is that Ellie has White House blindness, and it seems to take endless minutes and corridors to get to the family wing. Abby Bartlet is waiting in the doorway. Her face is pale, and her eyes are red with tears. 

"Mom! Do we know anything? Where is everyone?" Ellie knows her voice is unnaturally loud, but there is ringing her ears. 

Ellie finally lets go of Helena's hand to fly into her mother's open arms, holding on grimly for dear life. Abbey doesn't bother to say anything, but she rocks on her heels and brushes a trembling hand through Ellie's hair. The only thing that makes this situation even slightly tolerable is that her elder daughters were secure within seconds of the alarm sounding. There is something to be said for the old parenting cliche that your heart takes human form when children are born. The situation never changes, no matter how old your children get all the lives they lead. 

"Your sister and Doug are ten minutes behind you. We are waiting for a briefing from so expert with few answers..." Abbey sounds angry and broken at the same time. 

"How is Dad? Is Millie on the way?" Ellie asks as they move into the central room. 

"Yes, she is on the way with a small army of doctors. There is no sign of an MS flare-up yet, your father doesn't seem to display that trigger, there has been plenty of stress, none like this, of course." the words are those of Dr Bartlet before congress not the wife and mother in pain.

"Has anybody claimed..." Ellie can't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"No, there is complete radio silence. Which seems to be a comfort to certain people around here, we may be dealing with 'low level' targets. Whatever, the hell that means." Abbey sounds bitter and hoarse. 

Helena follows the mother and daughter, doing her best to remain unobtrusive and out of the way. There is a hive of activity with people who train for these situations. Many others are milling around with helpless and stunned looks on their faces. Helena images she looks the same, with makeup running and permanent frown lines. 

***

"I'm Doug Westin, wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

Helena can see faint traces of the charming and folksy man that makes this man likeable in well regarded in his home state. However, he looks pale and drawn from attempting to calm down his two children. Their different ages mean that parental guidance is no easy task. Ellie and Liz are getting briefings from Ron Butterfield and Leo McGarry. Helena and Doug are somewhat naturally on the outside; he wants to be ready to run to Gus if he wakes up with nightmares. 

"I'm Helena Miller; how are the children doing?" Helena asks in a whisper. 

"Your name is all I have heard for the last few weeks. A small part of Liz almost  _ wants  _ the conservatives to lose their minds, so she has an excuse to go to battle. It's good that you came down with Ellie, she shouldn't be alone..." Doug's voice cracks on an almost sob. 

Helena does not know this man at all, and Ellie's less than favourable opinion is no secret. Nobody can deny that this is a man in pain who has known Zoey for most of her life and formative years. Helena reaches out and places a hand on his trembling shoulder. They stand there for several long minutes before he manages to get his emotions under control. That's where being a politician is an advantage. At the same time, it seems like that brief bit of conversion is the limit of his abilities right now. 

"For Gus and Annie, their grandparents being at the White House is such an abstract concept. The idea of them being in danger is foreign, even with Annie, who is attempting to grow up at lightning speed. They are both so scared on so many levels."

"Doug, I came as soon as we could get through the checkpoints agents. How is everybody holding up?" Dr Millicent Griffen sweeps into the room with the authority of both the Surgeon General and a family friend. 

Doug stares blankly at the older woman. He was struggling to focus on another, but his children in the other room. Annie's mobile is in his white-knuckled fists, to stop their eldest children from finding out information on her own. There is a communication blackout. Even if there wasn't, the rumour and speculation does nobody any good, least of all a 14-year-old. Millie gestures to one of the onsite doctors who guides Doug to the nearest chair. She then turns her commanding gaze onto Helena, seeking answers.

"Everyone is getting updated in the conference room; the aides are running updates every 10 minutes." Helena supplies quickly gesturing vaguely. 

"Right, I'll go and find Jed and Abbey." Millie's voice breaks slightly, and she was likely going to say 'and the girls' on instinct. 

"Is there anything practical I can do?" Helena asks, trying not to sound too desperate. 

"Just be here for Ellie and the rest. Everything will hit doubly hard when the balm of adrenaline and shock wears off. Every minute without a word is going to hit like a sledgehammer. There will be plenty of work to support the family, including clearing Ellie's work schedule. Like her mother, she may look to burry herself in work only to crash later." Millie calls over her shoulder. 

Helena knows that the Surgeon General may be soothing her, but she takes the words of direction all the same. 


	13. Finding Zoey II

_ "The vain presumption of understanding everything can have no other basis than never having understood anything. For anyone who had ever experienced just once the perfect understanding of one single thing, and had truly tasted how knowledge is accomplished, would recognise that of the infinity of other truths he understands nothing." _ Galileo Galilei 

Her father is at the centre of everything. 

Jed Bartlet is a man that draws a crowd wherever he goes, a life in politics is a symptom rather than the cause of this reality. Ellie genuinely cannot remember a time when people weren't demanding his attention and using getting whatever time was to spare. Mrs Landingham was the only person that could keep him from completely losing track of his commitments for the day. The thing that is so strange and surreal about this moment is her father; the president isn't going anywhere. There is activity all around him, but the first couple remains in the same spot holding hands. 

America as a country is still running both as a country and member of countless international agreements; the mechanics of statehood is still running without the person at its head. The lack of a vice president is never more of an issue than it is right now. Leo McGarry is a brilliant and wonderful man; the sole reason her father is in this position. There is only so much chief of staff can do, both constitutionally and practically. Jed Bartlet is nothing but a father right now with a missing daughter in real trouble.

"You know I don't think I have seen Josiah Bartlet this still in over 30 years." Millie observes as she comes up to stand beside me. 

"What is he going to do? The senior staff the best but only he can make decisions."

"There are roughly 200 people who are experts in the question working feverishly to figure that out and keeping this disruption of order from mattering. Right now, our job is to keep everyone on an even keel, which includes ourselves." Millie says firmly glaring at her goddaughter for emphasis. 

"How is Dad looking? Are there any signs of any attack or a need to alter his medication?" Ellie immediately switches to one of the next concerns in her revolving list. 

"You know it is not a disease that leaves useful signposts. Your dad is perhaps the ultimate study in managing MS with a stressful job. To the best of our knowledge, he is staying within normal ranges for now. Whatever that means for any of us."

"Let me know if there is anything I can do; there is only so much pacing one can do, Liz is glaring at anybody who is offering to look after the children for her." Ellie pleads for activity. 

"I'll find a job for you kid if only for far you will badger the team for the middle notes. Remember, this is not Med School. There is no implicit honour in staying on your feet in a vigil until Zoey is home. She will need you more than ever when this hell is all over." Millie instructs as she walks away. 

"Don't worry Helena isn't above force feeding me and boring me to unconsciousness if not sleep with lectures about the driest parts of her profession. I'll stay off the list of Bartlet’s you need to worry about, Millie." Ellie promises faithfully. 

"I don't know if I ever said this out loud, but for what it’s worth I approve of this one, Ellie, she makes you happy, even in this building that you loathe with a passion."

***

The Bartlet family is the definition of high achieving, with all its attendant problems and privilege. 

Liz likes to joke that their parents are so high, achieving that they can't even have regular people issues. Their father has always had a heart and idealism vastly bigger than his ability to do anything about the world. The job title of president helps some but not enough for a man like Jed Bartlet or his wife and partner in all things. Naturally enough, they produce children that follow this le a d to a lesser or greater extent; none of us is particularly good at sitting around doing nothing. 

Ellie cannot remember a time when all members of her family were at a loss of anything productive to do in any situation. Even the holidays weren't overly relaxing when you need to mediate between the Westin’s and the Bartlet’s. The fundamental differences between those families are still the source of much speculation and gossip. Every immediate member of the Bartlet circle is under something of a communication blackout, without the ability to connect with other people and risk further exposure.

"We will take communion in about half an hour, be ready to go, the security procedures will be like a circus." Abbey's voice is hollow and devoid of any emotion. 

"Okay Mom, does Dad have his rosary?" Ellie asks, knowing that her father would find comfort in the object. 

"Of course. He is close to splintering the wood from gripping it so hard, He'll be reading verses for most of the night between the useful briefings and theoretical 'updates.' there is a bitter and angry edge to her voice that makes Ellie wince. 

"I'll be ready to go, Mom. Leave Gus to me, I'll lead him through the children's prayers." Ellie grips onto aspects where she can be helpful. 

"It is probably best if you stay here, Helena. The church is opening under stress, and it should be a strictly family affair. We cannot afford any distractions. I understand you  are not practicing ?" the words are carelessly cruel. 

Ellie resists the urge to protest and point out that Helena has a far stronger and tested Faith than the Westin's performance art. It was true she hasn't said in so many words that Helena was a serious romantic prospect. In their family, being willing to run the gauntlet of meeting at the White House practically amounts to the same thing. Such distinctions at a time like this feel like a judgement that is unlike her mother. 

"I wouldn't dream of imposing, Mrs Bartlet. You are right to presume that I do not practice my faith in the traditional way." Helena says with perfect politeness. 

"Mom..." Ellie starts to protest

Abbey Bartlet is wondering away before Ellie can get get the next word out. Even if her middle daughter were to come up with the perfect argument, it would no good. Whatever has set this course in a motion arguing the particulars will only rise emotions and tension higher. All members of the Bartlet family's a famous for tempers behind the amiability, friction with the parent Ellie is closest with is unwise. Helena is shaking her head and trying not so subtly to move her out of the line of attack.

"What your mother said isn't untrue, Ellie. I  _ shouldn't  _ intrude on such an intimate moment when restrictions are in place; the rituals are sacred but not to me. I did not take her words as an implicit or explicit rejection." Helena insists forcefully. 

***

"I hate John Hoynes." 

Helena and Ellie are sitting in one of the spare bedrooms in residence. Until recently, Ellie didn't spend enough time here to justify leaving anything in this space. Now there are a few touches of her life. There is everything from a set of gym clothes to the biography of one of India's first female physicians. Father and daughter are on something of reading binge and comparing notes about different historical figures. Her Latin isn't good enough to read many of his originals, but the conversations are still light and fun. 

"For another reason, besides the fact, he holds your father in contempt and has an ego to match the cliches about home state?" Helena asks her fingers still tracing nonsense patterns against my back. 

"At some point Dad is going to have to be president again, the party doesn't have the natural fallback position of the Vice. John Hoynes put my father in an impossible situation." Ellie whispers finally voicing one of her biggest fears. 

"Whatever happens President Bartlet is not going to operate with normal executive powers. There will be safeguards of some description, Ellie. Have faith in Washington's ability for self-preservation if nothing else. They need this place functional almost as much as the Senate Democrats do, the mechanisms of power will find a way.”

“At what cost? My father already shoulders the blame for every disappointment and rebuke, now he for all intents and purposes is a grief haze.” Ellie tries to keep her voice from rising. 

“You and the rest of your family are doing exactly what anybody would expect, somebody under this about of strain, even a president, cannot be expected to function. The grief haze is acceptable at least for the next few hours.” Helena repeats an old argument. 

***

"Whatever happens I think we are going to have to confront the reality of going public sooner than CJ was banking on. The news feeds can only show so many photos of Zo at 5." as is becoming a familiar habit, Ellie's voice breaks at the mention of her sister. 

The hours are bleeding together into a pattern of frustrating inactivity. Many tasks are underway, judging from the number of people in and out of the room plus the background noise that sometimes breaks through Ellie's shock. 

However, the First Family are in a particular bubble, where they get a constant stream of intel, but Ron Butterfield and his team carefully manage it. They don't need to know how Zoey is coming back only that heaven and earth are being done to make it happen. The paradox of being at the centre and completely removed from the flow of information is making me Ellie with frustration. 

Every staff member is being diligent about keeping them up to date. There is a belief that this is largely an amateurish affair, without links to the wider terrorists, which is hollow comfort when a family member is alone in the dark. 

"When Zoey comes back, we will have to prepare to go public to a lesser or greater to degree with our relationship. I know this Ellie, but we don't need to think about it now." Helena makes it a mission to reframe any of these conversations carefully. 

"I wasn't exactly subtle when dragging you into the motorcade and refusing to let go, Zoey will be proud of me for standing up for myself and not caring about people's judgement. Of course, I'll have to point out that most of that response was almost entirely subconscious." Ellie gestures to their hands. 

"Well, if that didn't seal the deal, the fact you haven't let go of my hand in roughly 11 hours probably w il l. I would never forgive myself if you were going through this alone while we were apart due to some security or publicity concerns." Helena squeeze s Ellie's hand as if for emphasis. 

"I am glad you are here too. It's nice to have somebody to keep me from climbing the walls and screaming at Doug the next time he makes a lame joke to try and lighten the mood." Ellie confides in a hushed whisper. 

"He is doing his best in an impossible situation that none of us can ever be ready to face. Don't say things that will inflame tensions simply because you don't speak the same language under pressure." Helena advises seriously. 

"Was that a lame attempt at a lame linguistics metaphor and joke, Professor Miller?" Ellie asks with a weak smile. 

"Something like that. There is plenty of work I can do remotely once the blackout lifts. I will be here as long as you want me to stay. We can work out the logistics of your unique profile once Zoey is safe and sound. For now, try and follow Dr Griffin's orders and rest, the schedule for updates will continue to be irregular. I promise to wake you the moment anything changes.

***

"Mom, what's going on?"

Ellie is frightened of countless things that day, more appear by the minute. However, see her mother wandering the halls of the family space with a vacant look is up there. Abbey refuses any formal of sedation, but you couldn't distinguish that fact at the moment. Her eyes are hollow and blank. As has been the pattern throughout their marriage, her husband is the one with the outward need for support. Elle's mom is the one that falls apart in private. 

"Mommy, where are you going? We aren't supposed to head to down to the West Wing yet. They are still mapping out potential..." Ellie starts explaining as she falls into step with her mother. 

"I can't believe.." Abbey is muttering to herself and doesn't seem to be paying attention. 

Ellie is grateful when she realises that Helena is following them and several of her mother's staff are at a discreet distance. Ellie considers calling for Millie and the whole team. Suppose one or both of her parents is going into shock and operating by rote that needs attention. Abbey Bartlet is moving at a relentless pace; it seems better to follow her and see where she ends up before making such a call. Every team member is working a million different roles right now. 

"Other parents do this all the time, they are on the screens in a matter of hours." 

"What are you talking about, Mrs Bartlet." Helena tries shorting her pace to match the other women. 

"My daughter is alone somewhere in the dark, and I am not sitting waiting for something to happen, the American people can tank our approval ratings for all I care." Abbey snaps the words as if the answer is the most obvious thing in the world. 

"Mom if we interfere..." Ellie tries gently, almost skipping to keep up the strides. 

Abigail Bartlet is a popular and confidant first lady who courts press attention and is largely responsible for getting the administration back on track. She could find her way to the communications and press office with her eyes closed, if they don't pick up help soon, Ellie thinks the Secret Service might need to restrain her mother physically. 

***

"Ma'am, you can't speak to the press." Amy Gardner hurries to keep up with her boss. 

Ellie feels a surge of relief when two of the senior staff and people who her mother considers friends take over the last of trying to convince her. Helena stays at her side all but confirming whatever rumours at in play, but the particulars don't matter anymore. Abbey Bartlet needs somewhere to put her formidable energy, and Ellie is going to be in charge of helping her. Liz is too busy with the kids and whatever her unofficial role as their Dad's DNC liaison means.

Ellie Bartlet isn't ready to be at the centre of the Washington show, but there is a fierce sense of family duty. Until Zoey comes home and is prepared to take up the mantel again, this will be her job. Sitting around doing nothing is far from the Bartlet way. Her father is almost paralytic with grief, and the risk of stress MS attack is high. Not even the worst of his arch-conservative critics will blame him in this situation. There must be ways to take some of the burdens at least away. 

"They won't let her get too far. CJ knows the press pool on this shift, they won't take advantage.." Ellie whispers mainly to reassure herself. 

As if to prove her point, there is brief swell noise of camera flashing and questions before the press secretary yells and everything goes quiet. Soon enough Amy and CJ come back leading a fragile-looking Abby, both whispering to her. 

"Ellie...I'll come up with you, and we can talk about the official statements and outlines. Nothing will involve you or less yet but in the coming days." 

The unspoken subtext to that conversation is between the team of them, daughter, friend and Chief of Staff they may have the collective powers to keep Abby from trying again. Ellie's mother is prideful; one could say, vain woman. She is mindful of her image in the congressional library, the last thing that needs is for a heartbroken mother on the front of every magazine in the morning. There is some mercy for a family that is grieving a lost love one, but they have limits. 

****

"I can't remember anything about Molly." 

Ellie makes the quiet confession as she and Helena follow Amy and CJ, who is almost carrying a fragile First Lady away from the West Wing. Thankfully the only staff there are ones that the family trust implicitly. Ellie needs to have enough faith in humanity right now that nobody will sell any sneaky shots of anybody in a vulnerable moment. CJ looks ready to murder anybody who considers such actions. The Press Secretary's reputation is well known and spread through the junior ranks of the press pool. Ellie needs that strength and comfort right now.

"What do you mean, Sweetheart?" Helena hovers protectively at her side. 

"Molly was on my detail for a while, six months or so I think. Foster was so upset it took me a second to make the connection. She spoke French so it was a natural fit for Zo..." Ellie starts to ramble but can't get past her sister's name. 

"Oh Ellie..." Helena pulls her companion into a brief side hug. 

"A woman I saw daily is shot while defending my family, and I can barely remember what she looks like, much less who she was as a person. Dad made a promise that the Bartlet's were not going to be like other people in politics and forget who we were are and are as a citizen. There were whole lectures at the dinner table. Look at me now, just over four years in." Ellie is a mixture of angry and sorrowful. 

"Ellie, trust me. As somebody whose job involves remaining in the shadows, I speak with some authority. Staying anonymous to you is exactly what a young Secret Service agent needs to do; anything else is the work of fiction. She was on rotation amongst all members of the First Family for a reason. 

"That doesn't mean I couldn't offer her the decency of recognising her in the street, Helena. My father is the most forgetful person ever to enter the House of Representatives, but he still works to know something at least." Ellie continues clenching and unclenching her free hand, rhythmically. 

"There are ways to honour people in service, Ellie. Let's get your mom comfortable and then we can talk about anything you want" Helena offers consolingly. 

"Mom is right about everyone offering useless second-hand information at regular intervals, why isn't there a sighting? Where the hell is the Princeling in all this?" Ellie huffs. 

"There is no other priority in this administration than looking for your sister; there will be information in time." Helena insists. 

Ellie knows that most in the immediate circle (with the possible exception of Leo and Millie) are working to manage the four remaining Bartlet’s by walking eggshells. The tendency is annoying and frustrating, especially with Helena because she a sticker for the protocol at the best of times. She can be overbearing and officious and can lose sight of everything that isn't in the handbook. The fact that Helena is older and senior her career as an aide for diplomats probably doesn't help. Ellie can envision times of both peace and crisis where this tendency may bring them into conflict. Minor incompatibilities are worth negotiating even in moments of great trial. 


	14. Finding Zoey III

_ The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do  _ Galileo Galilei.

Her father is no longer President. Her sister is a member of an unenviable, exclusive club. 

Ellie was the only member of her extended family that was apathetic to the political life at best and hostile at worst. She may long for the day when Jed Bartlet is back to the relative anonymity of former office, but this scenario makes her sick. The only way this country should have a new leader is when the Bartlet Presidential Library is laying its foundations, and he becomes a statesman for the Democratic Party. The historic transfer of power to Glenn Allen Walken is nightmare incarnate for the spectrum of liberal ideas. Zoey herself, flush with new graduate idealism will recoil in horror. 

Ellie cannot help but recall all the briefings on their safety as the children of high-profile people. While she listened at the time, her most predominate emotion was bitter resentment. Now, all the statements and scenarios about keeping safe, avoiding danger and dealing with emergencies are on a constant loop in her head. All three Bartlet daughters are the definition of privileged; none of them truly know how to counter threats of physical harm. It’s why the panic buttons become such a vital tool. 

"The last thing Zoey knows for sure is that her parents disapprove of her new boyfriend and lionise her former one, who is practically an adopted son. Why didn't we shut up and let her head to France with happy thoughts?" Abbey murmurs her voice in that hopeless loop that has come to define these waking hours. 

"Because we're Bartlet’s and the family has never met a situation they didn't have an opinion on or be willing to debate." Liz points out drily. 

"Zoey knows Dad will be tearing the world apart looking for her. She will have faith in our love, Mom. Now isn't the time to beat yourself up over tiny details and remembered insults." Ellie insists reaching out to grasp her mother’s trembling hand. 

"I am a thoracic surgeon, Eleanor; we spend all our time obsessing over details and hypothetical scenarios. Personal lives are no exception to that rule." Abbey replies with a touch of the First Lady's dry wit and bite. 

"Just as it's our job as your other daughters to counter that narrative. Zoey has the strongest foundation in the world, minor spats over the princeling will make little difference." Liz insists firmly. 

The sisters exchange a look over the top of their mother's head as she stares off into space again. It's always hit and miss with their words of comfort; sometimes their parents are receptive, other times not. When this nightmare first began, both sisters made a promise  _ not  _ to tell their parents that Zoey may be dabbling in drugs with Jean-Paul's encouragement. It's not a secret from her security detail and there as some confidences that sister needs to keep. Jed Bartlet's terrors are already vital enough. 

"Zoey's minor noble better be spilling his guts about everything he can remember or not amount of hereditary title is going to save him from your father. I almost wish they would let us spend 5 minutes alone with the arrogant little sod. " Abbey laments with perfect seriousness. 

"I am pretty sure doing that would violate several statutes with our long-standing allies, plus Ron Butterfield is scarier than you and Dad put together. He will be telling them everything he can, before taking the next private jet back to Paris." Ellie predicts darkly. 

"That's a shame." Abbey comments absently. 

***

** Hour Twenty-Nine: Case 7A WF 83429 ** ****

There is small comfort in the world seeming to stop in the hunt for her baby sister. 

Ellie knows that this sensation she is dealing with is essentially shock. The initial burst of adrenaline is long through her system, and only terror remains. There is no point in going to Millie for some medication; it would only compound the situation. Her days and nights as a sleepless medical student should serve her well as she works to look after her mother. By unspoken agreement, Liz is looking after their Dad, and liaising with government and Ellie is sitting with Abbey. The senior Bartlet’s are orbiting each other with silent hostility. 

The mixture of frantic activity outside the bubble of the residence and the relative silence within the walls still feels strange. There is no guidebook for what to do when your relative is the victim of a kidnapping. If Amy and CJ swift intervention teach Ellie anything, it's that if the family interferes directly, it can do more harm than good. It's true for the average citizen and even more so for the family of the president. Still, Ellie takes the opportunity to be on kitchen duty and supplying everyone with cups of strong coffee or tea. Millie is commanding on the whole house like a general determined to prevent any complete breakdowns. 

"Your girlfriend is a bit of a sucker, Aunt Ellie. Gus is getting her to read the same story at least seven times and build the houses for the character. He doesn't need 100 bedtime rituals. She is pretty good with the voices, though, likes to play with accents a lot." Annie concedes with a shrug. 

"Helena doesn't mind overly much. She has plenty of nephews herself, so she has a knack for story time. Gus will get tired of it before she does." Ellie predicts with an affectionate smile. 

"Can I have another hot chocolate, please?" Annie asks coming to lean against the bench. 

"Of course. One hot chocolate with extra sprinkles coming up. How are you doing, Annie?" 

"I'd be doing better if Mom wasn't going around trying to do a thousand things like it makes any difference, she's not actually in control here." Annie grumbles.

"It's her way of coping, let her make lists and pace." 

Annie Westin is an interesting combination of her parents. She has Doug's easy-going nature but is every inch the Bartlet when it comes to opinions. Ellie privately thinks she is the best of her father without the bluster. Ellie suspects that if the Bartlet’s are going to be a third-generation political family, it will be only Annie shoulders. 

"I like Helena; she seems okay." Annie comments before leaving the room. 

***

** Hour Thirty-Five: Case 7A WF 83429 ** ****

There is no comfort in receiving official demand and proof of life. 

The geopolitical situation in Qumar is too complicated for Ellie's sleep-deprived mind to comprehend well. The only thing that seems to make this bearable is that the kidnapping isn't the start of an attack wave, where more people and in danger and resources stretched. Helena knows far more than she is letting on, but Ellie lets her keep her silence. Her girlfriend is a harsh critic of foreign policy, especially in that region. The words will tamper with love and compassion, but she will be full of details that will not serve Ellie well. 

For once, more knowledge is not going to serve her well. Knowing precisely how many grievances these people have against America or her father, in particular, is not going to make the time pass any faster. The information comes to them in fragments and through numerous channels and officials. Ellie is glad that she doesn't need to recall anything at a later date because her memory is a wreck of emotion and fear. Nobody is expecting her to say or do anything except listen. Helena or Liz will repeat anything noteworthy when they are alone. They will likely be hearing the same information over again. 

"Ellie, sit down for me, you’re going pale." Helena encourages softly pulling her down to the coach. 

"Zoey will hate the idea that she looks so vulnerable with wrecked clothing in an image that is going all over the world. She is so self-conscious about presenting a good image for Dad and the administration." Ellie whispers helplessly keeping her eyes on the screen and the blurry image. 

"There will be others to replace it soon, Ellie. Receiving this is the start of a process, now the teams can narrow the parameters. Remember what the agent said the last briefing?" Helena tries her best to sound comforting. 

There is a flip side to that argument, and everybody knows it. The kidnappers who willingly shot a secret service agent are now working on a specific timeline, and they expect the demands to have the ear of the most powerful man in the land. Even if they weren't under the presidency of a Republican with such firm views, there is no way to negotiate or give an inch. 

***

** Hour Thirty-Nine: Case 7A WF 83429 ** ****

There is more comfort in having a Republican war hawk in charge. 

At various times they all make the mistake of putting on the TV and watching some of the most reliable coverage on the more neural networks. President Walken (which will never feel right to say) is resonating with the people. He is consistently respectful of the previous First Family and steadfast in his refusal to negotiate. The press styles of Presidents Bartlet and Walken couldn't be more different, and it shows in how the media reacts to them. 

All Ellie cares about is that he is bulldozing his way through his party structure to get many resources in play for the search. Not that there is a huge amount of residence, even in the staunchest enemies of the administration. Ellie doesn't doubt that somewhere, someone is conducting polls about the new president's style and effectiveness. Some fringes of the right will be campaigning for the 25th Amendment extension that will favour their favourite son. 

"Your mother was right, as usual. I should never have run again. The country needed a stronger hand than a mild academic who with no military experience to handle this. Qumar was always a powder keg waiting to happen with enough extremists kids in the country. It was practically a written invitation to pull this stunt." Jed Bartlet sounds impossibly bleak and sad. 

"Mom is also the first to point out that you can't predict, prevent or protect from the major disasters of the world. Running again was always a bone of contention. It's not your fault, Dad. Just a series of unfortunate events." Ellie tries to soothe him. 

"I think the Bartlet Administration will go down as one of the most cursed in the history of this imperfect union. The near murder of my Deputy Chief of Staff was the most understandable of all the disasters to come. Of course, if my father were here, he would say, my fate is hardly surprising." the voice is dark with brittle, old pain. 

"Well, Grandfather Bartlet is a proven unreliable narrator about many things, including the fate of his sons. I love you, Dad, so very much." Ellie wraps him in a tight hug. 

The first thing Ellie is going to do when this is all over is to suggest that her Dad make more appointments with either Father Thomas or Doctor Keyworth. Normally his wife is Jed Bartlet's comfort in all things. However, Ellie knows that her mother is far too close to this situation. If anything her mother's feelings on the matter will make everything far worse. They need objective counselling and support to work through both the immediate problem and the ghosts of the past that this situation brings up. 

Ellie settles for holding her father for the next impossibly long hour. 

***

** Hour Forty -Five: Case 7A WF 83429 **

There is unspoken comfort in the knowledge that Jed Bartlet is remaining well. 

Mille Griffith wasn't exaggerating when she said that this job and its demands are one of the ultimate stress tests for somebody living with relapsing MS. So far, the general and expected symptoms of shock and despair and not progressing to worrying signs. If he is ever going to assume the presidency again, the last thing anyone needs is an attack. Millie is confident that things are under control, Millie is Surgeon General for a reason. Her godmother will remain calm under the toughest conditions. 

Ellie is hyper-vigilant about watching him for the slightest sign. She almost failed an organic chemistry class when he was first diagnosed because MS was the only thing she would or could study for a long time. The B+ was one of her lowest grades but also a well earned one. Nobody knew that her famous father was sick, after all. It is sheer stubborn pride that prevents her from talking about these feelings with her family in general. 

"Stop looking watching me like a doctor, Eleanor Emily. You haven't treated patients who weren't at the microscope level in over three years. I have at least ten in the next room. My stats are still the same as they were 5 minutes ago." Jed Bartlet insists 

"It's a legitimate concern, Dad. There are so things go on right now. Your condition is unpredictable." Ellie begins helplessly 

"I know, Sweetheart but being hyper-vigilant is not going to change the neuron conduction." Jed points out gently. 

"If you promise to listen to the ten doctors and not get cross, Millie insists on them for a reason. Going against you isn't her idea of fun either." 

"You have a deal. Now go and find Liz, I think she is about to blow up at her mother in law which wouldn't be good for anyone. 

The easing of the communication blackout has its benefits and drawbacks. Ellie can do the handover with Marco and others at the lab. Now everybody can reach out and offer support and sympathy. Few can pitch the tone right, and Ellie ends up ignoring most efforts. Mrs Westin with her over the top style is unlikely to thread that needle either. Ellie doesn't especially relish the prospect of into that particular domestic scene. Liz works hard to keep a good relationship between the two families. There is no need for all that good work to go to waste because everyone is in pain. 

"Just call me Switzerland." Ellie jokes, knowing it will rile him. 

"You know that Switzerland wasn't nearly as neutral in the war as history likes to pretend; that statement is anarchism of the highest order." Jed lectures almost instinctively. 

***

"Are you still reading about the Indian physician?" 

Ellie blinks in surprise at the quiet question from her father, who has shuffled into the room unnoticed. It was such a little though but Ellie can't member the last time he achieved such a feat. Normally he is talking a mile a minute about the latest piece of trivia or its the secret service that signals his arrival. Now he is moving like any other mind his mid-sixties, and it is strangely disturbing and sad. Ellie closes the book she is only pretending to read for form sake. She is careful not to disturb Helena, who is sleeping on the other couch. 

Her lover has an enviable ability to take short but deep naps anywhere. Helena theorises it comes from being on so many planes and time zones. Ellie knows she will spring awake at a moment's notice. These quiet moments are comforting in the darkness. 

"Trying to read more likely, think I have read the same paragraph about the Monsoon season 8 times." Ellie confesses, putting the book aside. 

"I haven't seen Professor Miller still for a moment." Jed whispers

Ellie smiles fondly and nods before getting up and moving over to giving her father's customary tight hug. She feels odd about being so tactile with him, but it feels right at the same. His familiar scent and form sometimes feel like the only solid ground in these endless hours. He holds her with an equal need for a long moment. They move over to the table in the next room, where a steaming cup of tea is waiting.

"If there is every a test for a new relationship. It's nearly 50 hours in the White House with a small army of agent and Bartlet’s. They'll be picking through multiple languages to find her code name." Jed says quietly after snipping his tea. 

"I love her, Dad. It's not the right time to say so but…" Ellie says quietly shrugging helplessly. 

Jed reaches out and grasps her hand and smiling sadly. 

"There is no bad times for a father to hear that his daughter found someone to make her happy. I can see that, Sweetheart. I'm not nearly as oblivious as your mother thinks." Jed jokes even though his eyes are red from crying. 

"Zo, is willing to be a marshal in the next Pride event or at least become a spokesperson for GLADD. I think she forgets my naturally reclusive temperament in her plans for rainbow world domination as an outspoken ally." Ellie recalls fondly feeling matching tears sting at the corners of her eyes. 

"She always is the brave firecracker of the family, Abbey says she is mine, but I'm not sure where her collection of recessive traits come from honestly. I was a meek shadow at her age until your mother saw something in a shy economics geek. The ditch digger story is a joke for the party circuit, but it's not far off reality." Jed muses softly, his voice hoarse. 

"We can be like that Dad because you and Mom gave us the best start with a solid foundation and love to spare, even when I was ungrateful and angsty. Children become adults from those beginnings." Ellie disagrees softly indirectly references Jed Bartlet's less than ideal start in life.

"Your rebellion was relatively tame, considering you want to spend 90% of your time in the lab. We could deal with the 10% of the time you devoted to anarchist aspirations. Not going to lie I am pleased you didn't stick with the punk rock boyfriend phase." Jed teases weakly. 

"Too much work for little pay off in the end. There were only so many ways to hide my true geek nature. Helena and her deep abiding love for lab time and data sets is more my speed." Ellie confesses with a sheepish smile. 

"For the record Ellie. My options are limited publicly, but when this is all over, I will be standing with you 100%. With or without the formal parade. I am your father first and always even if it doesn't feel that way at times." Jed squeezes her hand tightly. 

Ellie cannot form words around the sudden hard lump in her throat. The reality is there and cannot be any thought of 'after' until Zoey is safely back with them and away from the political despair in Qumar. Zoey Patricia Bartlet is the light of all their lives, and everybody is directionless until she comes bounding back with a joke or sharp quip. Time is still doing strange things in this period of terrible waiting. 

"Sir, we need you in the briefing room. There is an update from the agents in the field." Ron Butterfield burst into the room for once, not caring about propriety. 

Ellie stands up trying not to read anything into his unusually vibrant tone and slightly wild look. Helena comes up to stand beside them, her hair a mess of curls and tangles. There is nothing for either of them to say as the former president gets rushed out of the room. There are signs of activity and frantic movement all over the place. Agents, staff and officers are moving around the family in a frantic orbit. 

Something is happening for better or worse in Case 7A WF 83429.


	15. Finding Zoey IV

_ "Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone."  _

_ ― Fred Rogers _

"We are not letting her do the Bartlet Fake Out, even if we have to attend every therapy season." Ellie insists firmly wringing her hands nervously. 

"Of course, but you realise that Zo learnt from two of the best people in the world? We are rank amateurs in comparison." Liz says darkly without a trace of humour. 

The two Bartlet sisters are waiting at the farm in New Hampshire. The hours after Zoey's rescue are a blur. Her physical injuries are comparatively minor, requiring only an overnight stay for observation. Ellie only sees her sister briefly before the doctors need more tests. The sight of her younger sister trying to put on a brave face almost breaks Ellie's heart all over again. 

"Everybody in the wider Democratic universe is going to be so desperate for her to be better, it won't be hard for her to act." Liz predicts as they prepare Zoey's room. 

Their parents take turns in staying at her side. Liz and Ellie don't want to overcrowd the space and decide to get everything ready at the family home. Zoey will have a schedule of therapy, debriefings and security procedures, but this is home base for the foreseeable future. Ellie and Liz will take alternative weeks at the house and stay in New Hampshire to minimise travel. As devoted as both their parents are, it isn't practical for the President and First Lady to be completely out of action. 

"It's safe to assume Charlie will be inventing every excuse under the sun to visit. He was always good at reading her real moods, maybe that was part of the problem?" Ellie suggests as she looks for another blanket. 

"Why isn't he our brother-in-law again? Because I'm the one who met the Catholic cliche for early marriage? Liz asks only half-joking. 

"Let's not start that old secular logic again. Let's just be happy to draft Charlie into the Zoey recovery support crew. We need all the numbers we can get, especially when the media starts losing their patience. CJ can only do so much for so long. The first public appearance is the first major event." Ellie replies, keeping her to light and dodging the reference to Doug. 

"You are desperate to break out a calendar and schedule everything, aren't you? Just like Mom with her patient rosters." Liz smiles with open affection. 

"Right now, I'll settle for knowing when she will arrive in whatever state." 

No long from the whole family is going to need group counselling, possibly with Dr Stanley Keyworth. However, by necessity, being a Bartlet means negotiating priorities. Nothing else will happen until Zoey is feeling better and strong enough to regain a routine. There will be no timetable for this progress. Ellie intends to be there for every nightmare, mood swing and tears. The Bartlet sisters stick together; it's practically the unwritten part of the oath of office. 

***

Zoey spends the first day asleep, thanks to the light sedative. 

There is any number of factors influencing how she is responding to the shock. Her system will recover from the minor broken bone, bruises and insults. The kidnappers were not intending on hurting Zoey if they could avoid it, but there was no guarantee that things would not escalate given enough provocation. There was a worrying amount of commitment and fanaticism in those young men, waiting for an opportunity to act. Abbey Bartlet is dealing with the pain of this situation by reverting to a senior doctor. Ellie doesn't resent the notion of being a resident again too much. 

"I'm most concerned about her mental health at this point. The breaks and bruises are relatively minor. She did worst on the playground in London." Abbey says almost absently to herself rather than directly to Ellie. 

"We have a plan in place for when those symptoms start to manifest. Sleep and letting everything work through her system is the most important step right." Ellie is parroting the doctors on-site, but it bears repeating. 

This position is uniquely stressful on them all, and it is starting to take its toll. 

Ellie is not a practicing physician, but she knows enough about trauma and all the residual effects. She struggles to sleep more than a few hours a night and talks to Helena over text at odd hours. Ellie fears she is turning her girlfriend into more of an insomniac than before. Helena reassures her that this is a family affliction, and she will catch up with naps during the day. It isn't the healthiest attitude, but Ellie appreciates the company even if they are talking about nothing in particular. In particular, Abbey is relying on her to monitor everything when she can't be there directly. 

"Mom, when was the last time you sat down for a proper cup of tea that wasn't rushed. Zoey will sleep for a few more hours, and Amy is handling things in Washington." Ellie suggests leading her towards the table. 

"Sometime in the 70s before you father did enough to earn the consideration of the Nobel Committee." Abbey says dryly before nodding her acceptance. 

***

Predictably Zoey tries to astound everybody with the speed of her recovery. 

Ellie can almost read her sister's mind when it comes to her pushing herself too hard. The youngest Bartlet hates seeing so much worry on people's faces. Her role in the family is to act as the healer, mediate the fights. Knowing that their parents go to bed, blaming themselves for everything puts tremendous pressure on Zoey Patricia Bartlet. Liz and Ellie do their best to mitigate the thought process, but there is only so much they can do when there is that stubborn lit to her chin. 

"Liz, you don't need to keep reading Gus bedtime stories over the phone, go home and hug your kids." Zoey instructs reaching to wave her arm but forgetting the injury and wincing in pain. 

"Annie and Gus are perfectly fine, staying with their grandparents. The Bartlet’s normally dominate the major celebrations, so Doug and folks are delighted to chip. Ellie and I have our system, quit trying to mess with it Zo." Liz instructs as she helps Zoey hobble around the porch to strengthen her legs. 

"I have nurses and things coming most days to help me do the exercises; you guys could cut the visits down to once or twice a week. There is little sense in tripling up." Zoey reasons for starting to lean more heavily. 

"Nice try but that is what siblings are for, the worst times. Besides, we don't trust you not to charm your way into an early discharge. Zoey Bartlet is stubborn enough to grin through the pain." Ellie replies bluntly. 

Zoey glowers at her sisters for a long moment. Her eyes are light with the urge to debate. An argumentative state is a relief after the lost and vacant look from before. However, these are the two people that share the burdens of their unique standing society. If anybody is going to be successful in stopping her ruse, it will be them. If Liz and Ellie are satisfied with her progress, they will be her strongest champions with other people. 

"Okay fine, but you guys a not constructing an entire festive calendar around being here. I am not a fragile doll about to brake." Zoey says firmly. 

***

Ellie won't call what they were experiencing as a fight. 

One of Helena's best qualities is that she is scrupulously open about communication. If she is unhappy about something in their relationship, big or small, she will want to talk about it and get some resolution. The pain of her first marriage that never should have happened means that Helena is wary of making the same mistakes. Ellie feels confident that there is nothing wrong per se, but instinct tells her that tension could be rising. Like everything else, it is too easy to put into the 'after Zoey is better' pile. 

_ "I think it is best if I don't come up to the farm, at least while Zoey is in the first stage of her recovery. The fewer people floating in her orbit who she doesn't know the easier it will. If I know the Bartlet pride, she is not going to want to appear weak." Helena makes the suggestion gently but firmly.  _

_ "You passed the White House Test, granted under unusual circumstances, but Gus thinks you are a fabulous cross between Sesame Street and the cartoon channel came to life." Ellie argues, trying not to sound too upset.  _

" _ and I will gladly be the official babysitter at Gus's birthday party, but I think this is the sensible option. I'll catch up on paperwork and expect regular updates. You can send me photos of the horses." Helena insists reaching to pull Ellie into a hug.  _

_ "Promise me you aren't upset by what Mom said about mass or wanting there to be dinners with just the five of us? My parents can get insular when they are upset. I think it’s part of being in the public eye. The Bartlet’s tend to get a bit turtle like." Ellie explains quickly.  _

_ "I understand that Ellie, truly, your mother has been nothing but civil under the circumstances. It will be a pleasure to see everyone again under less trying conditions." Helena bends down and kisses her cheek.  _

Helena Miller is a skilled negotiator; you can't work amongst the best without picking up a thing or two. Ellie doesn't doubt what she is saying is truthful. Time alone with Zoey, Liz and their parents is a rational idea, given the high intensity of the last few days. Helena needs time to connect with her family and professional life too. It is selfish to think she can put her life on hold. At the same time, Helena is quieter and withdrawn with every passing hour and new media story. 

***

The holding pattern is too deceptively attractive. 

Ellie is self-reflective enough to admit that while she hates the circumstances, she enjoys the opportunity to play caretaker for her family. Their parents are still working through their anger and grief, trying not to direct the emotions to each other. Ellie steps into the breach while the POTUS and FLOTUS regaining their footing both personally and professionally. Developing a routine at the farm presents a great healing space. 

Sharing and sleeping space with her sister is nothing new. Ellie has vivid members of Zoey sneaking into her room at night, to hear one more story. Jed and Abbey are passionate readers themselves, so they were never too mad about the late nights. However, now things feel different staying in the room because Zoey is too afraid to sleep by herself. Zo doesn't need to wear the sling to bed after the first few days, but movements still uncomfortable. 

"Do you want me to read a story to you, like we use to do?" Ellie offers in a whisper. 

"I don't think I could focus on anything more strenuous than Anne of Green Gables right now. Everything is still so fussy right now. Mom has to keep reminding me what day it is and the activities." Zoey confesses while staring at the ceiling.

"That's hardly surprising with what your body is having to do to recover, Zo. Take advantage of Mom's obsessive need to organise for a while. You'll regain your bearings soon enough." Ellie soothes, watching the nightlight make shadows on the ceiling. 

"Do you think I made an easy target, being so public with going to parties and hanging out with different people on campus?" Zoey asks her voice barely above a whisper. 

Ellie knew that a variation of this question was likely; it was natural for victims of trauma to blame themselves. In a purely objective sense, there may even be some truth to the notion. Zoey has a higher profile than both her sisters put together. However, the youngest Bartlet did everything right and cooperated with the secret service. She made the best of being a college student in strange life. 

"The only people to blame are the ones who were the kidnappers. You did everything right to survive. Don't get caught up in the what-if and hypotheticals. They could have found some other way and another day. Ron and the agents are right, Zo." Ellie whispers, hoping to get through. 

"I didn't know Molly well yet, but she seemed lovely, eager to do a good job. When things settle down, I will call her parents, don't have a clue what I will say..." Zoey begins fretting. 

"Both Dad and Mom have done the first call to them. Her family won't expect communication right way." Ellie reassures her sister. 

***

"Where is Helena? Gus is constantly requesting more stories in the right voices."

Liz asks the question in a casual tone as they are preparing dinner. The sisters are having a rare 'crossover' event. Where their schedules being there for Zoey, allow for joint dinners. The doctors and trauma specialists are happy with Zoey's medical progress and her willingness to admit her psychological struggles. The family is getting more comfortable with letting her sleep alone, though not without the night light. Zoey is almost tentatively talking about returning to Washington soon. 

"She has contracts to fulfil and shifts to cover. Being a translator in high demand means she can't take indefinite time off, especially when her work doesn't know where she is spending time. Helena was wonderful these last few weeks." Ellie says with a fleeting smile. 

"No doubt, but nothing is going to change here if you take a few hours or a night to go on a date. New relationships require attention, as well. Zoey has cover on all fronts, Ellie." Liz reminds her gently. 

"Such a subtle way of pointing out that my relationships rarely get to think of needing attention or caring. I'll admit it something of a novelty." Ellie says with a self-deprecating shrug. 

"I was meaning that being a Bartlet presents enough obstacles to having a life. It's better to take advantage of the quiet times while you can. The two of us are still going to have cover Zoey official engagements for the next few months. Have some fun while we are still under the unofficial media ban." Liz reaches for the oven and turns the dial. 

"To be honest, I think Helena needs a break from the fishbowl of Bartlet life." Ellie says quietly, not wanting for anyone to overhear the conversation. 

"Lockdown in the White House is a uniquely formidable experience, alright. It makes Dad challenging Doug to chess look tame by comparison." Liz says with brittle humour in her voice. 

Liz more than anyone has experience with trying to introduce somebody into the Bartlet fold. If anybody understood the intricacies of navigating this particular relationship challenge, it would be her. At least Doug Westin only met the future politician and before he was the president. 

***

"Oh it feels so good to be out here."

The Bartlet farm is a hideaway for all members of the family. The place isn't precisely a working property, but there are horses and a few other livestock. Jed Bartlet gets some slack for being an academic, private school kid playing at farming. The press is still respectful of the land and doesn't generally make the hike without CJ’s permission. The wasn't serious consideration to Zoey staying anywhere else. 

One of Zoey's confinement's biggest side effects is stiffness and muscle soreness, the two days in the cupboard result in spasms and aches in different areas. The fracture in the collar bone is manageable but still a source of pain. Unfortunately, the break is in her dominant arm; the urge to move the sling is hard to resist. Her mind is still clearing from the GHB and whatever else was in the drink. Ellie supervises as Zo takes long walks on the farm, stretching out her legs and building up conditioning. 

"How is the arm feeling?"

"About the same as the last six times you or Charlie were asking for an update. There needs to be a roster system or something, it's sore and weak, but when I eventually do sleep, it shouldn't be a problem." Zoey cautiously moves her sling to prove the point. 

"Sorry Zo, but you are going to have to adjust to being the centre of our universe for a while. Everyone will try and remember that you are an independent 19-year-old but caring for you is both an expression of love and everybody processing stuff in their ways. If it gets too bad manufacturer errands, let people feel busy and useful. Millie will keep the hordes from the gates." Ellie advises trying to keep her voice light. 

"Thank you, Dr Bartlet. The truth is the smothering concern is more comforting than being alone with my thoughts. Those hours in the dark were long." Zoey stops and leans into her sister and resting her head on Ellie's shoulder. 

"I'm here whenever you want to talk about it or find a distraction. We can start watching a terrible soap opera or two if it will give you a distraction. Liz still secretly keeps up with General Hospital." Ellie offers as they start walking again. 

"Sounds like a plan. You can have control of the remote, with my hand like this, so the medical inaccuracies don't need to annoy you so much." Zoey jokes weakly waving her sling. 

"Excellent. I'll make the popcorn with just the right amount of butter and salt. We can start tonight after your exercises. Mom may even join us when she returns from Washington." Ellie feels genuinely excited by the idea. 

"Promise me you won't feel guilty about bringing work about here if you need to, I will be perfectly fine healing in the corner while you chat with Dr Lewis." Zoey offers as they reach the fence line of the property. 

"One of the advantages of spending more time with the family is learning that we have a great team in the lab. Marco is covering the shifts for me, for the next few weeks. The viruses will still be there when you are ready to move back to Washington." Ellie promises as they watch the horses graze in the distance. 


	16. Finding Zoey V

"I think it only makes sense to seek out and identify structures of authority, hierarchy, and domination in every aspect of life, and to challenge them; unless a justification for them can be given, they are illegitimate, and should be dismantled, to increase the scope of human freedom." 

― Noam Chomsky

"Congratulations Congresswomen Wyatt on the completion of your most ambitious project to date."

Helena feels a surge of genuine pleasure when Andrea Wyatt ushers her into the hallway, looking surprisingly fresh for a mother of newborn twins. The visit is days in the making with both the general chaos of new parenting and the security precautions after the kidnapping. Helena uses the time to cook some of Andi favourable Egyptian and the other regional delicacies. It's a good excuse to wander the markets and speciality stores again. She speaks Arabic almost defiantly, even though doing so gets her some strange and wary looks on the street. The reaction is predictable if still not a little hurtful. 

"I am not sure I could in good conscience recommend having pregnancy in late fertility years, with an ex-husband. Definitely, not fun in the middle of security. Come in and feed me. You can and admire Huck and Molly, pretending of course that their glorious features aren't entirely generic." Andi instructs cheerful, keeping her voice to a whisper. 

"My siblings have children aplenty. I remain fluent in the language of infant admiration. Finding distinctive characteristics isn't so difficult. Now you rest, I will prepare everything." Helena replies, placing the food on the table. 

"Then you shall be allowed through the gate. I may need advice on how to mediate a dispute on which sports teams our children will support. Toby is already pledging their allegiance as newborns." Andy complains lightly.

"I know little about sports, the American versions even less. I can kick a soccer ball passably. I know that is something close to sacrilegious in this town. " Helena confess before smiling sheepishly. 

"Passionate allegiances going back generations has more myth than reality, it depends where you live." Andrea calls over her shoulder. 

Andrea Wyatt is a fierce Democrat, almost university admired by her district. She is proudly liberal and idealistic with many causes she champions both regarding foreign policy and elsewhere. However, Helena thinks she admires this version of her former boss more. The woman who forges a path to parenthood, no matter how unconventional. Helena can emphasise doing things that do not fit the expected pattern for you either as a person or politician. Coming out as a lesbian as a new divorcee was something of a challenge. Her former husband's reaction was the least of the responses. 

The twins are the culmination of a lifelong dream. Even if her marriage to their father didn't work out and is in that strange place of 'almost'. There are plenty of weddings in Washington that are in a similar status of flux. The Bartlet union is a lofty one to aspire to even for their closest allies. Helena is confident that the Wyatt- Zi e gler will learn to navigate their unique inheritance as both their mother and father serve a lifetime in politics. 

***

"They are wonderful, Andy. Congratulations on making it through the first few weeks."

Helena whispers the words as they creep away from the nursery adjoining the main bedroom. The twins are down for one of their naps. Therefore, weren't up for entertaining or gushing over eyebrows or resemblance to relatives. It **m** akes Helena smile that someone on Andy's staff brought over Maryland merchandise and postcards. Huck and Molly are going to gain an introduction to liberal politics by osmosis it seems. The young people that work for their representative tend to adore her genuinely. In all likelihood her election for another term is a certainty but Andrea will not take the votes for granted, she does not rest on reputation. 

"It's everything people say parenting is and so much more, both in good and bad ways. The family Toby and I are building is unconventional, but Molly and Huck bring joy to our lives even in these uncertain times." Andy says as they move through to the kitchen area. 

"That is certainly the impression that my brother gives me but thank you for allowing me to see them up close during this special time. Pictures can only convey so much; they are both a good weight and meeting all the milestones?" Helena asks before moving towards the stove to start cooking. 

"Yes, everything is fine so far. Despite being born in the middle of a national emergency, security guards around them and the DNC calling between contractions. Toby got to be there for most of it, which is wonderful. He was living this pregnancy with me down to phantom pains, I think." Andrea reassures with a smile. 

"Please tell me you are joking about the Democratic leadership?" Helena asks, trying not to sound scandalised. 

"I am one of the ranking members on the Committee with a working knowledge of the situation in Qumar. Don't worry my staff were running interference the whole time and didn't let me do any of the heavy lifting, metaphorically or literally." Andy says, waving off her concerns. 

"Well that's a relief. I can't imagine your midwife was overly happy with you for that display of workholism." Helena asks with raised eyebrows. 

"Please, this is Washington DC. I am mild in comparison to the CEO breed. At least I didn’t argue with any of her recommendations and requests when it came to food and vitamins" Andy disagrees. 

"Give me something adult to think about that doesn't involve baby sleep schedules or feeding. There is only so much dancing mobiles I can take." Andy instructs as she finishes her second helping. 

"I am under strict instructs not to engage you in any political discussions or political work, least you start trying to direct shadow foreign aid work in between Mommy and Me Classes." Helena holds up her hand in a placating gesture. 

"Did Toby use the powers of the communication office to send out a nationwide memo? Avoiding taxing the fragile mother of my children?" Andy sounds both horrified and not the slightest bit surprised.

"No although that wouldn't surprise me from all accounts. I ran some extra food over to your office for the interns. They must be having the time of their lives in terms of experience nutritional value will be down the list." Helena explains while laughing at the mental image. 

"Well, let me assure you. We are not living in the 1700s, and I am not in any form of confinement, you are going to be my source of news, gossip and intrigue on a voluntary or involuntary basis." Andy looks getting ready to enter full lecture mode. 

"You are aware you are talking to a language geek who teaches, and I quote a student here, 'one of the driest yet useful subjects in the known academic calendar.' You may need to go to somebody is for any kind of intrigue. My scuttle butt is usually of the grammar variety." Helena gives Andy a curious look. 

"Says the woman who took opposition prep for me and debated me, until I pleaded for mercy. While still genuine agreeing with all my position statements. You practically made some of my staffers want to rewrite their thesis statements."

"You are exaggerating. I know the region well, keep up with the politics and speak two of the main languages. My work during that preparation is fairly generic and easy to replicate. You are in danger of creating a strawman fallacy, Congresswomen Wyatt." Helena waves off the praise. 

"Oh, enough with the false modesty surely people of our age have read enough Gloria Steinman to avoid undervaluing ourselves with the trap of false humility. You could be an asset to the DNC if you weren't so firmly against the idea of joining the body politics." Andy argues with a mock glare.

"Thank you, coming from you that means a lot." Helena accepts with a shrug and proud smile. 

***

"Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" Andy asks the question without judgement or expectation. 

"I'm guessing you saw me on TV with Ellie and the rest of the family? Running the media gauntlet was far from appealing, luckily fading into the background is practically a primary skill." Helena questions with a weary smile. 

"I only saw you briefly, and few would make the connection. Besides CJ and Amy have been trying to gently whip potential support amongst the house ranking liberals. I'm top of their list for support **.** **I** t all made sense when I made the connection." Andy explains, keeping her voice patient and gentle. 

"It's difficult to contemplate having something as a person becoming public property, if only until the next thing catches people's attention. At least, for now, our business is in fairly safe hands with allies and wonderful people who genuinely care." Helena concludes while looking self-conscious. 

"How did the two of your meet? Your study areas couldn't be that different, but I suppose there are mutual areas of studying and social life at John Hopkins University. Not that I can think of two people more passionate about their topics." Andy encourages with a broad smile. 

"My geekdom managed to save the day; her data was looking like a mangled mess in the library. She was late for an important meeting with her parents. It didn’t take too long to untangle the mess. I am going to have to get use to saying this story aren't I, possibly in public?" Helena realises with a dawning look of horror. 

"If I know anything about Ellie Bartlet from meeting her half a dozen times or so is that she will fight tooth and nail to avoid that, you will not be members of the celebrity First Children Club. I have confidence that Jed and Abbey Bartlet have enough respect on the Hill to avoid personal attacks, or at least the overt ones. The MS hearings left a bad taste for many people across the aisle. There are a few principled people in the conservative caucus.” Andy insists firmly as if her words can make the situation a reality. 

"Does she make you happy? We can work out all the policy and political hang ups. The one thing I want to know as your former boss and hopefully friend, does this new relationship make you happy?" Andy asks quickly changing the topic from the serious. 

Andy looks so earnest and hopeful that it makes Helena smile. Andrea Wyatt is the type of person that definitely should serve in politics. She holds steadfast to genuine ideals and principles, genuinely wanting to make positive change. Her first thought when hearing this information isn't about gossip or influence. If the congresswoman has you in her circle, she will be your champion. Helena cannot even claim to be particularly close to her former boss, but the connection is still strong and firm. 

"Very much so, Ellie is brilliant, witty, and so passionate about her work. There are so many things we have in common and the things are different seem unimportant." Helena is aware she sounds rather like a lovesick fool, but the words remain true. 

"Well that is wonderful, thank you for coming over here and giving me such excellent news to focus on, the staffers are doing their best, but everything seems to be bleak on the entertainment shows. 

"Why does it look I've had more sleep than you have in the few weeks, Helena? And to the best of my knowledge, you don't have twins demanding every scrap of your attention. “Andrea asks her brows furrowing in concern. 

"Well, it’s entirely possible we have gotten similar levels of sleep, and I don't have the benefit of all the handy maternal hormones. I promise not to take a nap with the twins" Helena sighs her voice, starting to tremble unforgivably. 

It takes Helena by surprise to feel an overwhelming surge of emotion come over her. Things are finally starting to settle into something of a routine after the chaos of the last few weeks. Teaching and interpreting work is picking up at a steady pace, and several diplomatic conventions and negotiations keep the agency she works with busy. There is an opportunity to extend her lecturing contract is she wishes to next term, which will be ideal for the apartment lease and other personal circumstances. The nightly conversations with Ellie are a highlight within the regular day. 

"I have no idea what's wrong with me. I promise my intentions were noble in coming over here, complete light bantering and nourishing food for you and the babies. Give me a few minutes and I'll pull it together." Helena apologises dabbling fruitlessly at the rush of tears. 

"Nonsense you have been through serious trauma. First with your new girlfriend and then if I am right about the state of the world, issues because of where you hail from, right?" Andy asks soothingly as reaches for tissues. 

"Some, if I speak Arabic, but my family are the 'right' kind of immigrants, speaking the language and adapting to cultural norms. Some of the rhetoric is pretty hard to deal with, especially when it seeps into generalisation. Being an acceptable immigrant because my parents are relatively wealthy and I have a knack for languages doesn't make me feel fantastic, no. " Helena confesses with a shuddering sigh. 

"Not to mention, how far the rhetoric could set our diplomatic relations in the area back, even if it comes to humanitarian aid, it's okay to worry about such things and feel immense comparison for Zoey and her family." Andy reassures, moving her chair closer. 

"Zoey Bartlet is all kinds of wonderful and romantic grace. Could those two idiots do the worst thing to try and get their point across? Not to mention fanning the flames of conservatism in both governments in the equation. There is no way President Bartlet is going override Walken in his handling over the aftermath." Helena leans back in frustration and wipes at her eyes. 

"Foreign relationships have been through these stress tests before Helena. The Bartlet Administration may be frustratingly moderate, but Admiral Fitzwallace and Nancy McNally are good in their respective roles." Andy reassures, taking a logical tone. 

“If anybody was to have an insight into to such things it would be you, I will work hard to keep the faith on all counts.” Helena promises reaching for another tissue. 

***

"I am the last person to offer relationship communication advice. I would recommend doing the opposite of everything that happened in my marriage. Please don't fall into the Wyatt-Ziegler style of communication."

They have moved rather seamlessly onto dessert once Helena has a good cry and dries her tears. Andy Wyatt has a reputation as a tough but fair agony aunt for all her young staff. She quickly has Helena on the couch with a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"The situation with the kidnapping, Qumar and the subsequent backlash is rightfully upsetting. You are trying to manage two completely different realms, the Bartlet Bub **b** le of Grief and the realities of being an immigrant. Is no wonder that you are feeling and fearing the end result." Andy reaches out and offers another tissue. 

"But none of this Ellie's fault. She is so sensitive about 'Bartlet Politics' intruding on her 'real world'. How do I explain this conflict without hurting her?" Helena asks genuine worry in her voice. 

"Toby **Z** **ie** **gler** is perhaps the most brilliant speechwriter on the planet. I am no wallflower on the debating floor either. The problem for us is that it become too easy for us to retreat to our respective corners and no bother to bridge the gap." Andy explains with her customary sad smile. 

"You think I need to tell Eleanor how I'm feeling, even though she is acting as caretaker for her sister?" Helena asks dubiously frowning at the idea. 

"I think Ellie Bartlet is stronger than you think. More importantly, it's too easy to let personal feelings slide away in the face of world or public events. There is always going to be somebody or something around the corner. Little disagreements fester through inattention. Unfortunately, our therapist was unable to bring Toby and I to that understanding in time." Andy says with a sad smile. 

"These last few weeks has me starting to doubt if I can easily fit into the Bartlet family as a whole. There are so many messages and interplays. It's a challenge trying to keep up with it all." Helena confides with a nervous smile. 

"Please, welcome to a serious relationship. The Bartlet **’** s are a unique bunch to be **sure** , but it will take time to adjust to their language. Remember, that lockdown during a hostage situation will not bring out the best in anybody. Give them and yourself a break before overanalysing every interaction." Andy instructs with firm conviction in her voice. 

"Can I have you with me to mediate all my future challenging emotional situations?" Helena jokingly pleads 

"I am the product of the best-failed therapy Washington can be and years of campaigning as Maryland liberal. You only need reminding from somebody who isn't super close to the situation. Having to keep the relationship a secret won't be doing you any good." Andy predicts 

"Ellie and will have to face that reality in the coming weeks, the grace period with the media will end soon enough. She claims not to be the superstar Bartlet, but I suspect there will be sufficient interest. I better stop wallowing before th **e** n." Helena says, shaking her head. 

"Don't be so hard on yourself. The family will be coming down from New Hampshire in the next few days, connect with Ellie, after a few good night’s sleep. Problems always seem bigger when you are functioning on little sleep. Trust me as someone guilty of burning far too much midnight oil. ** " **

****

“Thanks Andy.” 

“You are most welcome, and count on me as an ally both in public and private.”


	17. Finding Zoey VI

_ "I don't really want to become normal, average, standard. I want merely to gain in strength, in the courage to live out my life more fully, enjoy more, experience more. I want to develop even more original and more unconventional traits."  _ Anis Nin 

Zoey Bartlet makes an excellent First Daughter, and that can be a burden.

The youngest Bartlet is the one that volunteers to take all the public events and photo ops, the smiling, the autographs. Liz is the one who relishes the political power plays in the background. Zoey has more in her public bios than both her siblings put together. 

Ellie Bartlet barely resists the urge to run and hid as she watches her sister get ready for her first on-air interview since the kidnapping. There are strict limits to the questions' scope; no journalist would dare risk the wrath of a White House still reeling from trauma. CJ Cregg is creeping around the farmhouse like a protective guardian and communication specialist that she is at her core. Naturally, Zoey is putting on a brave front, but she clings to the additional support. Ellie gains an insight into what things might look like when she and Helena go public. The thought is both terrifying and comforting. 

"I am going to be okay, Ellie. There is no need to scowl quite so fiercely, CJ will keep anything from getting intense." Zoey turns from the makeup chair to offer a brief reassuring smile. 

"If anything gets too much, you have total control over stopping the questions. Don't think about toughing it out for the sake of Dad or anyone else. Everybody can understand that there is no precise route to being okay, even if people want the exciting cover story." Ellie insists fiercely. 

"We have been over the bail plan, Ellie. Please stop hovering, go and get lost in a book for a while. I'll see you in an hour or so, love you." Zoey dismisses her with a gentle but firm tone. 

Ellie does as her sister instructs because Zoey doesn't need the stress of managing other people's reactions. She compromises by curling up in the far corner of the open-plan room. The journalism team's lights and cameras are still visible, but Ellie is out of direct everyone's line of sight and cannot hover, repeating the same set of worries. CJ Cregg is doing an admirable job of keeping everything running to schedule and low energy and stress for Zoey. 

***

"Was I stupid for trusting that Jean-Pierre was only ever doing that stuff with other people or at a distant chateau back home." Zoey asks plaintively. 

"Maybe, but you did everything right in trying to stay alive. Far too many girls are put in similar positions, Zo." Ellie points, reaching over to pull her sister into a fierce hug. 

The fallout from the interview is quick, and people are moving fast to go into damage control. CJ looks like she wants to fly to France herself and create a diplomatic incident without the president's protection. Zoey herself is deeply upset by the news and instinctive vulnerability such a scenario places her in, but she is rallying fast. An emergency phone session with her therapist on standby helps keep her from spiralling into a full panic attack. Liz and Ellie take her for a long walk to see the horses before they head back to Washington. 

"I have access to the best security briefings, technology and a team of people who do nothing but protect me. Surely there were signs that I missed?" Zoey insists her voice is cracking in both frustration and pain. 

"By virtue of all that, Zo. You were also the target for sophisticated security circumstances. Graduation night and Jean- Pierre was a perfect storm, no different from Dad's obsession with the rope line and the shooting last year. Josh Lyman and the others do not blame him, does he?" Liz asks, trying to put all the authority of a big sister behind the argument. 

"I still feel like an absolute idiot. Even after all the drama with Charlie and the supremacists, I am always looking for trouble. An agent isn't the only one responsible for keeping my safe, especially with such warning signs." Zoey works herself up and is starting to cry. 

"Not on your graduation night, Dad moves mountains to give us times to relax and act our age. Feeling emotions is okay now; that's why therapy is so important. Going back to Washington and getting a sense of routine and structure will do everyone good." Ellie tries to sound enthusiastic. 

Zoey nods, and they continue walking together, turning the conversation to lighter topics. Plenty is going in the Bartlet family world, now that their Dad is back in the White House and holiday leave is coming to an end. Zoey takes a keen interest in her older sister's lives, including keeping up with the latest progressions and problems. During her recovery, she will spend plenty of time with the Westin’s, connecting with Gus and Annie, now that she isn't leaving for France. 

"Please tell me you are going to see Helena and prioritising a reunion with the last round of virus modelling. Don't think I haven't noticed that your lives currently begin and end at the Bartlet family property line. When I say go home and back to 'normal' I mean it." Zoey sounds eerily like their mother and that moment. 

*** 

"Oh, how I've missed you." 

Ellie doesn't mean to get emotional, but when she sees Helena waiting on the couch, the emotions come flooding back. The separation was the right thing to do in theory, but the distance was hard in practice. Helena was dutiful about calling most evenings, but still, there is an intimacy that only comes from seeing someone face to face. Helena looks equally thrilled and pulls Ellie into a fierce hug, not letting go for long moments. 

"I was thinking of you all day with the interview, Zoey did so well handing the questions and getting her point across." Helena gently guides her to the coach. 

"It was too soon by any stretch. Zo was always going to push her limits, there was only so much influence Liz, and I can claim as her big sisters. Half the time she is mothering us along with Gus and Annie." Ellie leans her head on Helena's shoulder. 

Ellie Bartlet found her parents’ relationship and intense devotion to be daunting for most of her adult life. Even amongst their Catholic friends, divorce wasn't that uncommon, certainly unhappiness. Abbey and Jed Bartlet form a unique bond that allows both of their demanding careers to thrive. Jed Bartlet freely and proudly admits he wouldn't be half the man he was without his wife's guiding influence. 

Ellie found the idea largely abstract until her relationship with Helena was under pressure. She wanted to be closer to her girlfriend rather than looking for the nearest exit. There was little wrong with her previous boyfriends (regardless of her father's opinion), but they didn't foster the desire for intimacy. Even with the recent distance between them, this homecoming feels important. 

"Zoey did so well on the interview, even with the GHB questions, how is she doing?" Helena asks softly. 

"The interview took more out of Zoey than she is willing to admit to anyone, even Liz and I get the Bartlet smile." Ellie confesses mournfully. 

Ellie doesn't go into the full details about how challenging the last few weeks has been for everyone. It would almost be a mote when Helena is the witness to almost everything first hand. The therapist wants the whole family, including Zoey, to bring regular conversation topics back to the table. Since they have spent so much time apart, Ellie wants to take advantage of their time together to reconnect. Naturally, Zoey is a frequent subject though, Helena recorded the interview and watched twice before relocating to Ellie's apartment. 

"The Bartlet stoicism is a trait that all five of you share, I think." Helena muses. 

"Do you fancy being a presidential historian in retirement, Darling. There might be market for you with observations like that." Ellie teases with a grin. 

"From the sounds of things, your father is well on the way to being his presidential historian. His abiding love of trivia and translation will serve him well in such a pursuit. I am afraid my interest remains with one particular Bartlet and the history of language, rather than anything that would go in an official biography." Helena insists with a teasing smile. 

****

"Andy Wyatt knows about our relationship and promises to be our strongest ally on the House Floor, not that it is ever likely to become a political issue in that sense. 

Ellie is proud of herself for not flinching at the revelation. Her hypothetical list of people that know about their relationship is getting distressingly big. Eventually, the number who know will be too big to have any hope of staying private. She will miss the time when Helena Miller can move in and out of her life without notice. Ellie knows that her lover will miss the sense of privacy more than she realises. 

"I don't know her well, but Dad and everybody seem to trust her. She has an excellent record on equal rights?" Ellie phrases the statement carefully, trying not to portray her instinctive distrust of all house members. 

"One of the strongest and most consistent. I've done a fair amount of work with Andy and the Committee in the Arab regions. She is the type of person that  ** needs  ** to be in politics and is not only there for ambition or special interest. Our dignity and privacy are safe in the hands of the Representative from Maryland." Helena assures with a reassuring smile. 

"Well, with that ringing endorsement, we are off to a good start, aren't we? Maybe the Bartlet Administration will get lucky, and the hostile Senate and House conservatives will let this slide without comment. History would say that the odds are not in our favour, but we can hope, right?" Ellie summons a brave smile and reaches over to share a kiss. 

"I think the media bubble will hold for a few weeks but no more, the legislative cycle will move, and so will people's attention span now that Zoey is safe and recovering." Helena predicts with an uncertain shrug. 

"Even though it didn't go entirely to plan for Zo, I think I'll probably do the same thing, find a good journalist and introduce a new relationship as part of a bio or something. Maybe Danny Concannon is available and wants a second try at writing about the Bartlet women. The book he wrote on Mom, isn't half bad." Ellie floats the idea speculative as she starts to plan the request. 

"Do you want to know something funny? I read your mother's biography years ago. I remember admiring and her commitment to both medicine and her family." Helena confesses with a sheepish grin. 

"Does that mean you saw those embarrassing photos of me trailing Mom round in a mock labcoat with my teddy bear as a patient?" Ellie asks with a mixture of dread and laugher. 

"They were adorable and indicative of your future." Helena defends. 

***

"Will you tell me what's bothering you? Outside the obvious mess when find ourselves in, you didn't leave solely on account of giving Zoey space." Ellie says the words as a statement, not a question. 

They decide to go for a long walk on campus. At John Hopkins, they can be relatively certain of being left alone. Dr Ellie Bartlet is a known celebrity, and there are equally influential people working in different areas. The agents are more conspicuous than they usually are, but Ellie isn't going to protest them at the moment. Forester is keeping his respectful distance. Helena is the one that vigilantly scans the campus before they start walking slowly. 

"You are not the only one who comes to this relationship with potential complications, Ellie. Of course yours are distinctly high profile but I don't fit the mould either. Zoey kidnapping and the subsequent intervention in Qumar has repercussions for people with my origins story." Helena begins to explain carefully 

"Has something happened? Is your family okay?" Ellie sounds genuinely horrified by the thought. 

"Everyone is fine, Darling. A comparative wealthy family who speaks decent English and has the 'right' jobs was never the first target, either by rhetoric or physical violence. My struggle is more in the abstract sense with having an identity that does not always fit in my adopted Homeland." Helena reaches out a hand to reassure Ellie. 

"But you empathise with and know intimately the pain of the wider community and society. Zoey's kidnapping will be the excuse for a swell in sentiments against people from the wider region. There is more weighting on your mind than just the fate of your girlfriend's sister. My father's response is going to have an impact on you both personally and professionally." Ellie puts the pieces together rapidly as if she has been waiting for the key to a cypher. 

"Yes and no, I will always feel a conflict over American policies in the region; your father is a practical moderate. Many elements are likely to come out when we go public, including racists who do not like the idea of Eleanor Bartlet dating a woman from Egypt if a woman at all. These last few weeks have brought that fact home." Helena looks worried but determined at the same time. 

"Can I do anything to make things easier? If it's any consolation, I will only be a president's daughter for a few more years. The media scrutiny will not be this intense forever." Ellie tries not to sound too anxious. 

"Continue being you, Ellie.  ** I've ** told you before that you being part of this family is who you are; therefore it is something I need to accept if I want a serious relationship that leads somewhere beyond the Bartlet Administration. Which should be self-evident since I don't show my weak lungs and mulish pride to just anyone?" Helena teases with a reassuring smile. 

***

"My trauma is minimal compared to that of Zoey and my parents, Dr Keyworth. We can stick to the set number of sessions." Ellie offers formally. 

"You know enough about my field to appreciate the fact I will not take your assertion at face value, Dr Bartlet. Trauma isn't chemistry or virology, where everything happens in precise measurements. You will have as many sessions as we both deem necessary." Stanley Keyworth disagrees calmly. 

Ellie blinks in surprise when the doctor smiles at her before sitting back and waiting. A particular kind of person can do their job with patients who are high profile. She purposely did not obsessively research the man beforehand, trusting both her father and the White House vetting processes. Ellie Bartlet may inherently resent that fact she is not private citizen, but it is still a unique experience to have somebody who does not react to being in the room with her or the family as a whole. 

"I keep obsessing about how close everything was, those boys were serious, and it was only a random few twist of fate that prevented a different outcome. Zo, was sickeningly vulnerable for nearly two days and I could do nothing." 

"Those scenarios are going to continuing running through your head, all the 'What ifs', your mind is doing everything it can to process the trauma. My job is to help you lessen the intensity of such reactions and the physiological toll that the event takes on you. Have you been sleeping at all?" Stanley asks softly. 

"I like how you reframed that from 'have you been sleeping well?" Wise lack of optimism there, Dr Keyworth. Things are better now that Zoey is in more of a routine, and Helena is staying over again." Ellie confesses in an equal tone. 

"Who is Helena?" Stanley no doubt has a briefing of some the family connection, but he sounds genuine. 

"My girlfriend and the woman who is going to stand with me when I come out as bisexual. Which by the way, was a terrifying thought long before my sister was kidnaped." Ellie says the words in a rush, still not familiar with the sound. 

"Having a girlfriend or having a same-sex relationship in public view?" Stanley asks the question calmly and without judgement. 

"When you are my family, such a question is the same thing, Dr Keyworth." Ellie replies with a weary sigh. 

"One of the problems with being from a high-profile family, with plenty of external pressures, is that many of the people who come to me for help, loose perspective. The part of you that faces the outside world, Eleanor Bartlet, First Daughter, needs separate but equal tending to Ellie, the research scientist. Your personal needs will last a lifetime; the burdens of being a President's child do have an expiry date." Stanley points out, holding up to hands to emphasise the point. 

"Three years, one month and ten days give or take the adoration farewell tour. So what are you saying, Dr Keyworth?" Ellie recites the number almost automatically. 

"I am saying that, if you are willing to continue these sessions, we will be addressing two types of trauma, one that of the introverted woman who loathes attention and two, the coping strategies for a 'professional' role that led indirectly to your sister's kidnapping." Stanley offers without command or obligation. 

"Isn't your main role 'crisis intervention' and dealing with acute trauma like our experiences with the kidnapping?" Ellie challenges feeling caught between realising and freezing. 

"My office bills significant fees for my expertise field of trauma, the particulars are individual. Since you are such a believer in the scientific method above all, consider our sessions a way to review and strengthen your foundations, for the next uniquely public stress test. Such as facing the public as the Bartlet daughter in the LGBT spotlight." Stanley suggests one scientist to another. 

"That sounds, logical and productive." Ellie allows cautiously. 

"We'll leave it there for today. First sessions can be especially draining and emotionally taxing. Please complete the sleep log and thought diary to give us a baseline to start work. I have space for emergency appoints, utilise them if you start to feel acute anxiety or other distressing symptoms. Battling through will not be productive in the early stages." Stanley waits to catch Ellie's eye. 

“At guess I’m not your first patient from the medical field, with definite ideas about treatment?” Ellie asks with a weary smile. 

“Such traits and not reserved for medicine, but you are a far from the first. On that note, I freely acknowledge that these are unusual circumstances and will modify our sessions accordingly, if it becomes necessary. To preempt any privilege guilt, treating the president’s family is not going to jepardise anyone else or their services. if you need me, call Dr Bartlet, you aren’t ‘stealing’ a spot.” Dr Keyworth lectures as they move to the door. 

“But that was number two on my list of avoidance justifications.” Ellie complains with a rueful look. 

“Yes. Goodnight Dr Bartlet.” 


	18. The Third Prince of Norway

_ "For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again."  _

_ ― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay _

"I am not in love with the third prince of Norway, secretly or otherwise." 

Helena puts down the book she is about to wrap to give her girlfriend a curious glance. Preparations for her youngest niece's birthday are taking an unusual turn. However, Ellie is genuinely worried about something, is clear in the way she worries her bottom lip and wrings her hands. Ellie confesses one night that she never learnt how to hide her emotions like Zoey and Liz. It's one of the reasons she didn't get a repeat invite to state dinners, too likely to bring a book like the first daughters of the past. 

Helena secretly hopes that all this 'training' with CJ, Amy and now Dr Keyworth will not rob her of such tendencies. In her own life, there is too much implicit pressure to keep up appearances. Her family are loving and supporting, but the weight of their sacrifice from Egypt weighs heavy. Ellie is wonderful the way she is, without her oldest sister's polish and refinement, a politician's wife in waiting. In some ways, their joint reality as 'outsiders' is one of the things that pull them together, much like the novels and movies proclaim. 

"I wasn't aware that competing with a Norwegian noble was a possibility but thank you for soothing my nonexistent fears and insecurity. Is there are the reason that I might hypothetically feel such towards a distant European royal?" Helena is trying to fight her amusement at the surrealness of the conversation.

"It's likely I will be doing a European press circuit with Mom at various events, including the awarding of several medical prizes. Alexander may be there. We become friendly when he studied medicine for a year at Duke. There were *brief* ridiculous rumours about him 'bringing me out of my shell.' and a trans-Atlantic fairytale. Giving you the heads up in case it happens. The media goes through periods of fascination with all of us, part of the reason I am there is to defect attention from Zo." Ellie explains in a rush, wincing at the strangest of her life. 

"That's such a misogynistic and judgement historical trope. As if somebody needs a) be brought into the light b) requires a relationship to do it and c) that two people with relatively high profiles can't enjoy a friendship offer common interests." Helena’s discontent makes her voice rise and fall several octaves. 

"I'm glad you see the silliness of such a suggestion, given that aside from medicine, we have completely different interests and life goals. We keep in touch over letter and email though." Ellie looks like she is genuinely sagging with relief. 

"I can imagine many futures for you, Ellie Bartlet but willingly exchange the duties of a president's daughter for a lifetime as a constitutional monarch is not one of them. The schedules of state dinners would be a nightmare alone. Have past relationships found it difficult to reconcile your family's stature in the community?" Helena asks, gently keeping her voice soft. 

"Yes, especially with Theo, to be fair, I wasn't working hard to select potential life partners who could understand or work towards appreciating my life. Dr Keyworth is encouraging me to work through the trauma tapestry that Zoey's kidnapping brought up." Ellie shrugs in appreciation. 

"Another reason to be grateful to the man, even if his fees do make me wince on your behalf." Helena leans over and kisses Ellie's cheek. 

"How are you so calm about all this? Most people would at least be googling Alexander or wanting to know details." Ellie sounds genuinely curious now. 

"I cannot and will not claim to be  _ completely  _ immune to the grandeur of the Bartlet name and current occupation. It helps that I am a small cog in the workings of democracy with Andy and other Congress members. It helps to see a more realistic perspective." Helena muses the question out loud. 

"Well, I think such an attitude will stand you in good stead when Danny Concannon arranges the interview for our grand reveal. I'm sorry that I have to leave for a while. CJ thinks we have enough time and Zoey needs moral support." Ellie apologies, sounding truly regretful. 

"There is plenty for me to do before you return, please don't worry. Remember my passport looks almost as impressive as yours in terms of countries and the frequency of travel. It won't be long before  _ I  _ ask for understanding when work takes me away for extended periods, especially if Andy gets her way about several fact-finding missions." Helena reassures her companion 

Nothing else needs to be said, Ellie smiles in relief before returning to her laptop and the endless equations that await her. 

***

Other people talk freely and speculate about Eleanor Bartlet. 

Helena feels guilty about owning Danny Concannon's book now that she knows most of the players in it, much less looking at it in any great detail; still, the book is respectful of Abbey Bartlet's skill and life story. There is a creditable review of women in medicine and the pressures of dual roles. Helena appreciates that he does not repeat stereotypes about Ellie being the shy middle daughter in the sibling hierarchy. Instead, he charts their parallel journeys into medicine and Ellie's lifelong interest in medical research. Ellie agreed to her part in the book to further public awareness of the virus, such as HPV. 

All the Bartlet sisters have their different nuances and complexities. Danny doesn't shy away from representing that. True to her word, Helena doesn't use the book as reference material. The pictures still make her smile when Ellie is out of town. The nature of a secret relationship is that they don't have many photos together, let alone ones she can frame, casual interactions were not possible yet. Maybe that will a fringe benefits of going public. 

"Are you swooning over your girlfriend's picture in that book again, Helena? It's such an old copy; I'm sure you can get few personal shots now, right?" Allegra teases her sister as she comes to stand behind the couch.

"Don't tease me, Allegra. You know I treat books as comfort items, it's not about Ellie's images, or at least not entirely. One day we will have photos, hopefully, but this will take a while." Helena closes the book before regarding sister. 

"Oh Lena, I didn't mean anything by it. I know you miss her and are a little sensitive about this new relationship group. I'm here to talk, listen or binge-watch the old movies so you can swoon over the stars of old." Allegra insists loyalty coming to sit beside her sister and pulling into a hug. 

"It's not that honestly, it's more that I like this little bubble we create together, where we reconnect after her duties in the White House. Soon things will be different, and I'll need to find a place in the dialogue, at least for the next few years. The Bartlet Administration doesn't have a peaceful reputation, despite being so moderate. Helena confesses, resting her head on Allegra’s shoulder. 

"If anyone can handle it, my money is on you, my calm, unflappable sister. Besides, whatever short term headaches are worth it. Ellie makes you so happy, that couldn't be more obvious. Tariq and I will be there for you every step of the way." Allegra words are firm with absolute conviction. 

***

Ellie and Zoey are brave in very different ways, through the lens of media coverage. 

It takes Helena awhile to figure out what channels were covering the visit without overlaying it with commentary accusations. The general theme was that the Bartlet Administration was doing its best to get back to business as usual. The First Lady is frequently the ultimate representative of the human side to politics, an unofficial ambassador. Abbey Bartlet does not fit easily into the role stereotypes, but her popularity remains steady fast even after her medical licence in the MS scandal. 

_ "First Lady Abbey Bartlet is undertaking a tour of medical facilities, in the wake of the recent tragic events a wife and mother _ ..." Helena switches off the sound 

It is difficult to predict anything from the TV images and the rare sight. However, Ellie isn't looking angry or nervous; her shoulders weren't tense or hunching. Her laughter and interactions with Zoey seem genuine, even when there are media figurings following them. Helena is looking forward to Ellie calling that night to get the real story. 

_ "Ellie is doing fine. Stop pacing your apartment and get some decent wine and cheese or something. This trip is about simple as state visits go, save your energies for worse movements."  _ Andy sends the text a few minutes later. 

_ "Why are you watching fluff pieces about the First Family? Not your usual media at all. They will be staying away from any topics that may interest you."  _ Helena texts back genuinely surprised by the message. 

_ "My world revolves are the demands of hungry twins who are adjusting to the world. Fluff pieces are the limit right now. Besides after the campaigns, I have a soft spot for the younger Bartlet girls. Liz Westin is tough, future DNC chair. The others no so much."  _ Andy replies quickly. 

_ "It's a daunting thought to think that I might be there with her next year, all going well. Hiding off camera is a translator's unwritten mandate. I'll be relying on you for an honest critique."  _ Helena jokes. __

_ "When have I given you anything else? President Bartlet is fiercely protective of their privacy, that will extend to you."  _ Andy reassures with confidence. 

Helena smiles, settling into the chair a longer conversation. It's nice having somebody to talk about this, even if Andy Wyatt is still a career politician. The congresswomen from Maryland knows the inner workings of Washington far better than a translator for hire. If there is anybody map out the future pitfalls into would be this woman. Helena doesn't want to disturb her too much with the twins, but her former boss and friend is not one for being idle. 

***

" Mom wants me to talk to a group of med school graduates. She can do this type of thing with her eyes shut. I can barely get through a book report. These future doctors want the senior Dr Bartlet, not the poor substitute." Ellie sounds close to whining. 

"Ellie, you are a recent graduate yourself with a true passion for medicine of all kinds. Of course, it makes sense for you to speak to this group. It is not something that is in public or with any type of recording right?" Helena asks to try to offer comfort despite the separation. 

She was sensing that this could be a longer conversation, Helena curls out onto her coach, tucking the phone closer to her ear. Ellie gave her a brief outline of their schedule in Europe. Zoey uses the time to reconnect with friends and build her stamina for Bartlet public life's pace. The youngest sister did not want to lose her post-graduation plans entirely due to the kidnapping. Ellie was making medical contacts and providing a supporting role for her mother. 

"You know I can't do this Lena; I am in sweats thinking about it. Mom somehow things her charisma will rub off by osmosis or something." Ellie sounds truly sick. 

"Ellie, you  _ can  _ do this, break it down into small components, the steps of a speech aren't that different from the process for an experiment. Nobody is expecting you to be a world-class wit or inspire the masses. These are people who have an equal passion for medicine. All they want to know is that you got there and enjoy the career path." Helena talks slowly and carefully. 

"But I'm not my Dad; I can't pull a joke out of thin air or remember random historical fables or facts. Nobody wants to hear about the distinctions between virus samples." Ellie complaints softly. 

"It may not seem like it to you, Ellie, but graduates from Northern European countries aren't instantly thinking about the current American president, charismatic or not. Focus on the language that you share." Helena raises her voice to grab Ellie's attention. 

"You know I am hopeless at languages; I can barely keep English straight most of the time. Mom will have to do this, she won awards for teaching and everything." Ellie resolves, and it sounds like she is moving to the door. 

"The is a language to all professions, and you know medicine well. Stay on the phone with me and practice." Helena instructs. 

"I wish you could fly out here and be in audience, I'd feel so much better." Ellie confesses into the silence. 

"As romantic as that would be, Ellie. There are practicalities in play, I have work and couldn't get there until you are heading back. Next time will be different. The Nobel Ceremony is on your books, yes?" Helena redirects the conversation deftly. 

"Congratulations Medical School Graduates Class of..." Ellie dutifully begins recounting her speech. 

***

The Bartlet 'business as usual' tour seems like a success. 

Helena doesn't have many points to reference the achievement. The media courage is overwhelmingly positive, especially Zoey in public and attracting crowds. Ellie avoids being on TV for the most part or is by-line in the major story, which is how she wants to appear. Selfishly Helena wishes the did televise the speech to the medical students. The main thing was that Ellie seems happy with the result and her reception from the other doctors. 

"I can't wait to come home next week, but overall, the trip was a success. CJ hasn't needed to do any damage control about my friends, flag burning or medical opinions. So, all in all, I will count this as a win. Overall, I am counting this as a win." Ellie sounds happy and upbeat. 

"How is Zoey doing? She looks like she is handling the exposure and travel well." Helena asks quickly moving from the kitchen to lounge. 

"Her shoulder is killing her, and Mom is insisting she uses the sling and take some more pain killers. Her range of motion is getting better each day." Ellie reports before calling to Zoey over her shoulder. 

Helena winces at the idea of Zoey in pain and the stubbornness of the battle between mother and daughter. Collarbones breaks were minor, but no bone injury is without pain and recovery time. As the middle sister, Ellie is often the official and unofficial mediator between the two fiery tempers. Thankfully this trip gave all three Bartlet women opportunities to spend time on their own, pursuing individual interests. Ellie remains besotted with the virology lab and wants to visit again for professional reasons. 

"Have you send all the information to Dr Roy? Do you think he will let either you or Marco do a short sabbatical? It sounds like the facility is everything you could hope for in terms of equipment." Helena asks eagerly. 

"He's got all the info, but the funding thing can be tricky. NHI grants are tricky to navigate. Everybody has an opinion about what we spend the money or how we allocate the funds. A trip to Europe, even for fact-finding, might push the boat too far." Ellie sounds regretful but happy at the same time. 

"Well, it is worth the shot. Well done for getting the speech done. I'm so proud of you."

"I couldn't have done it without you, Helena. It's wonderful having you as a cheerleader." Ellie says gently. 

"Thank you, Darling. But of course, you would have done this with or without me. You underestimate yourself far too much. Please don't give me too much credit for being a sympathetic sounding board. The next speech will be a little easier, the one after that simpler still." Helena says confidently refusing to take too much praise.

"Let's hope there are plenty of breaks between my duties as a Bartlet Daughter. Zo or Liz can take the next few, I hope. Expect for the interview with Danny, I guess." Ellie says with a laugh. 

They are trying to normalise the eventual publicising of their relationship. Dr Stanley Keyworth advises them not to obsess about the details or every possible outcome, but treat it more like a milestone event, important but not the defining feature of the rest of their lives. The advice isn't always easy to follow, but Ellie isn't trying to avoid the West Wing reality anymore. The connection with CJ, Carol and the rest of the communication team is strong; there will be support. 

***

"We need to seriously about shifting your career focus, my darling girl." 

Helena turns her full attention to her mother after swallowing the last bite of her pizza. She enjoys their regular get-togethers, but it was obvious that something was on the older woman's mind. Sara worries about all her children in turn, but Helena knows that her early marriage's difficulty, separation and coming outweigh heavily on her mother. Not to mention the devotion to a job in the same region, they fought so hard to leave decades ago. She hopes that her regular communication eases some of the fear. 

"Things are coming to an end naturally, Muma. I am finishing a few rotations with Congresswomen Wyatt and her team, before taking up more teaching roles. There is no way to prepare entirely for the oncoming publicity, but I am minimising the potential impact on my work commitments. I have enough savings to take leave during the most intense periods if needed." Helena replies, reaching out to hold her mother's hand. 

"Have you spoken to Mathew about this, Lena. His name is bound to come into play, at least at the beginning." Her mother asks her voice hard with concern. 

"We are having lunch on Friday. He is aware that I am dating somebody with a higher profile but no specifics. Thankfully our relationship is civil, but we do not have many mutual connections anymore. Tariq assures me that there isn't a mummer in their professional circles." Helena replies seriously. 

Helena is careful about how she articulates her interactions with her former husband. While her parents are unfailing supportive now, her separation from a young man they adore was hard on the whole family. Helena will always regret her hasty marriage when she knew about her feelings to women. It was a lie, but it was a genuine one. In her 20s, she genuinely sought to spend her life with this man as a loving wife. Ultimately the hope and aspiration were unsustainable. Thankfully, Mathew came from a similar background and was not cruel or bitter, merely sad. To her knowledge, he didn't badmouth her to any of their circle. Nor did he have anything negative to say about the family generally. 

"Mathew is a good man. Please, do you best to minimise the impact on him at his new family, Darling." Sara asks, looking at her daughter with fierce intensity. 

"Of course I will, Mama. He deserves nothing but the greatest respect. I will work to give him as much privacy as possible. Hopefully, the focus will fall elsewhere." Helena puts on a brave face. 

In another life, Mathew would have been the perfect son in law and father to future grandchildren. Her parents still mourn this reality even though they don't say anything to make her feel lesser. It's especially hard because their daughter lives such a nomadic lifestyle; there was little chance to meet girlfriends or potential future partners. Ellie Bartlet is somebody to consider for the latter, but it doesn't change the overall reality. 

The lunch with her ex-husband will be awkward and more than a little emotional, racking up old wounds. Helena wants this to happen long before Ellie returns home, and the talk of publicity begins in earnest. For all the languages Helena speaks, it is still difficult to find the right words to explain her new love and the possibility that their brief marriage will be a conversation topic. Mathew is about as level headed as they come back, there are still limits to forgiveness and benevolence. Helena wishes she had faith still in Ellie's God, for luck and certainty. 


	19. In Another Life

_ "I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance."  _

_ ― Beryl Markham, West with the Night _

The conversation with her former husband is long overdue, but that doesn't mean it will be pleasant in any way. 

Helena Miller is well aware that Mathew Miller could have been far worse to deal with, the LGBT support groups affirm that notation. At least she and Mathew were not parents and had few assets to divide. She wasn't a fan of the old mental trap, 'Suffering Olympics.' Each narrative has a reality to represent. She will carry profound guilt at hurting the man who was a dear friend for the rest of her life. It was an honest mistake, as much as these things can be, but there were repercussions. There were only so many ways Helena could apologise for living authority when it left his dreams in ashes. 

"Thank you for coming, Mathew. I know it has been awhile." Helena says before clearing her throat nervously. 

Her former husband is a few years older than her. They both look different from the young professions who said vows in her parent's backyard. There is grey at his temples, and his blue eyes are behind stylish glasses with a few wrinkles at the edges. Helena suspects he is making the same judgements about her and possible finding her wanting. She hopes that he is watching his blood pressure and cholesterol, there is a family history of such things. There are so many little trivia points that she knows about him and the family, redundant now but still in her memory. 

"It's decent timing actually; there is something that I want to talk to you about too." Mathew says his fingers are jumping nervously. 

"Order whatever you like. I think the chefs still have your favourite steak and roasted vegetables." Helena offers with an uncertain smile. 

Helena resists the polite impulse to let him go first, knowing that she needs to get the logistics of dating Eleanor Bartlet out of the way first. Mathew will not want to stay at this dinner for any length of time, and she doesn't want to rush him at the end. It would be too tempting to fall back into the familiar patterns of conversation about friends, family and their perspective careers. She sincerely wants to know this information and hopes they might one day get to the point where it is an option. 

"Stop fiddling with the salt and sugar, Helena. Tell me what is going with you and why I need to be here." Mathew prompts his eyes intense and hard. 

Helena always admires Mathew because he is a wonderful listener and takes a genuine interest in anything and everything. It's one of the reasons that she agreed to marry him in the first place, their long and fascinating conversations that would last all through dinner and well into the night. A small part of her still longs for days, when the future wasn't such a daunting notion. 

***

"So are you dating the latest celebrity to come out on social media or something? Will you be getting your name in acceptance speech?" Mathew asks, trying to joke, but his voice is falling flat. 

"Can you see me realistically dating a celebrity, Matt? Really?" Helena offers him a nervous grin in return. 

"Don't forget there were plenty of things I couldn't see about you even back then; maybe I am not the best judge of character." Mathew says his voice is wistfully holding a touch of old sadness. 

"Her name is Eleanor, and she is a brilliant medical researcher with John Hopkins. Her speciality and passion is HPV and the potential for early detection." Helena takes the cowardly way out, seeing if Mathew will make the connection. 

Unsurprisingly his face stays blank, Mathew has no reason or inclination to get up with politics, much less the First Family. Helena struggles to put the next part into words. Ellie gave her express permission to reveal as much as she deems necessary. It still doesn't feel great putting her girlfriend on display by proxy. As Andy remains her regularly celebrity and public profiles are unpredictable realities, subject to many winds of change. 

Ellie is so much more comfortable with her reputation in the academic circumstances than her father's fame. It is always difficult to tell what people's reactions will be, even those that are well-meaning or have nothing but a casual interest. In part, it is the office itself and the natural nerdy charisma of Jed Bartlet himself. Helena herself wasn't immune when she first met Ellie in the library. Helena believes to her soul that Mathew Miller doesn't have a vengeful bone in his body, but it is not her life that she is gambling with, at least not entirely. People have sold stories and scandals with far less incentive. 

"Well, that hardly seems cause for an emergency meeting and concerns about our divorce, which is close to 15 years old now ancient news. I stay out of the Washington scene, but I can't imagine the conservative folks having that much sway. Stop procrastinating Lena." Mathew asks impatiently before turning to his meal. 

"Ellie is one of the least controversial people I know; she doesn't seek or gain attention as an individual. The problem lies in her name and everything associated with it. Her full name is Eleanor Emily Bartlet, President Bartlet's middle daughter." Helena gives the full background for completeness sake. 

Helena watches in detached fascination as a range of emotions flickers across Mathew's face. If their relationship progresses, she is going to introduce Ellie to more and more people. There will be a range of investment and interest in the Bartlet family, especially in the next three years. Mathew is probably a good practice subjecting, seeing as there are other complicating factors. Helena is reasonably sure that if she can get through telling him, the rest will seem easy. Thankfully her ex-husband is calm by nature, and it takes allot to excite him overly much. 

"Wow, when you gave me the heads up on this, I wasn't expecting the last name Bartlet to conclude the sentence, Lena." Mathew lets out a long whistle. 

"That was pretty much my reaction when Ellie and I first started talking. The last thing I expected was to fall for somebody with a famous name, much less a member of the most famous family in America. If there were any way to guarantee them having zero interest in you or our marriage, I would do it in a heartbeat."

"Surely you don't think that I will sell a story of a broken-hearted husband to the nearest available waiting media. Is that what you or her representatives want to check?" Mathew sounds genuinely hurt now.

"No of course not, I would stake everything I own on you have more decency than that, it is more than you need to know that they could  _ try  _ and get a story, a photograph of you from a distance or quotes from former friends. It's hard to know how this will play out, but you need to know it could happen." Helena rushes to reassure him. 

"Then my line will be the same as it was back then. No comment, relationships end, and I wish Helena all the happiness." Mathew repeats the words almost by rote 

Helena reaches out and clasps his hand, feeling the familiar weight and lines of it. She wonders if her comfort will be welcome. While their separation was civil and close to amiable, that does not mean that there weren't hurt feelings on multiple sides. The subsequent years did not ease the emotions and pain. Helena resolves not to let so much time pass before the next lunch or offer one. 

***

"Do you remember that time my drunk cousins were teasing me about 'turning my wife gay in cruder terms?" Mathew whispers suddenly. 

"Nicholas and Brent were bullying you, not simply teasing. Don't let them get away with such a mild term. Yes, I remember the conversation vividly." Helena corrects firmly. 

It was one of the worst days since she came out. Mathew's beloved grandmother was moving into a nursing home. Helena was somebody she trusted to explain things in her native French, even though her children were relatively fluent. It was Helena who read to her most Sundays. The Millers were awkward about keeping the fiction a marriage, but everybody agreed to keep the peace for her sake. That was until the two brothers couldn't contain themselves any longer the words were outdated and uneasily cruel, most likely the result of jealousy. 

"You railed at them for a solid 40 minutes about how ignorant their statement was and how disrespectful it was to hurt a family member when they are down. There were historic references, legal statues and multilingual swear words in there. You insisted they and all their drunk friends insult you to your face and only you. Nick and Brent are still afraid to say your name out loud. Do you want to know what I was thinking?" Mathew asks, smiling sadly. 

"Of course, although I think your reaction at the time was fairly indicative, trying to mediate between everyone and keep your grandmother smiling. I was never so grateful that she refused to learn more than a passing amount of English. It was better to think me a mild translator than too much of a heathen. " Helena reminisces with a fond smile. 

"I remember thinking that you needed a debate partner for the next 40 years, one who will listen and challenge your opinions. We always could talk for hours, but not with the same, passion and conviction, vigour. I remember thinking that perhaps you were talking too much of the blame after all. A quick death to our marriage with a lesbian wife. Rather than a long one with incompatibility in the next 5 or 10 years."

"I will always carry the guilt for not being honest with you from the start, rightfully so." Helena says firmly with an equally sad smile. 

Mathew is wise enough not to argue the point. Nothing would make the conversation between a husband and wife about sexuality easy ones. Mathew takes little comfort because Helena did not have an affair or find somebody along the way. The pain was all the same; a short, sharp pain still hurts all the same. Helena is thankful that most of the conversations, tears and yelling were made privately. Mathew didn't feel the need to involve his family or get their opinions beyond natural tribal loyalty. 

***

"I know you kept my name for my grandma's sake who adored you and wanted to die with the fiction, legally at least. Could I have it back now please? There is another woman I want to give the title to, if she will have me." Mathew says, almost sheepishly. 

Underneath the words is the desire for his name not to be directly caught up in any publicity junket. Truthfully, I keep Mathew's name out of a habit more than anything. It was easier for his grandma, but it was also easier for somebody in the middle of publishing data and papers. There were no strong objections from Mathew and having an anglicised name did wonder for her credibility in certain circles. As sickening as that reality is, she needed all the help she could get as a new graduate from an immigrant family. 

"Oh, Mathew that is simply wonderful. It is a practical step if the media gets hold of me for a cycle or two. I will start the paperwork today, is there anything else we need to change?

"It took us both a while it seems. Mom and Dad are over the moon. I think they were despairing at my eternal bachelorhood. Her name is Sarah, and she is an architect for one of the firms we work with, her two kids are great, and we are building a careful and slow relationship. Things did not end well with her ex-husband. I'm going to ask her next month on her birthday. If the kids are okay with it, nothing happens without their go-ahead." Mathew enthuses his whole face lighting up. 

"I have every confidence they will, let me return the sentiment, I wish you all the happiness." Helena goes round the table and hugs him tightly. 

Helena feels a twinge of envy. She loves Ellie Bartlet enough to want to marry her at the earliest opportunity, either a big family one or an elopement with the two of them. However, nothing will ever be that simple, loving a woman and somebody with such a famous last name. Helena doubts they will have the opportunity for such an open display. 

Helena feels genuine sadness at seeing the request in black and white. 

If it weren't for the reality of her being a lesbian, there is no doubt in her mind that she and Mathew would have a deep sort of conventional happiness, complete with pets and children. Perhaps that was nostalgia speaking looking back at the past with someone's sentimentality with an uncertain future. Still, she signs all the paperwork with quick, efficient movements. She is proud of her birth name and the amiable ending that she and her former husband are carving out for themselves. He will make a fantastic husband and further. 

"There you go, I'll scan the documents today. Depending on the vagaries of the department, the change shouldn't take more than a week. I will do the same with all my professional bodies and boards. There is no guarantee it will take effect before the media swarm, but I will do my best. Aside from anything else, I think there will be more pressing things about me that they feel the need to discuss and dissect." Helena points out drily as she put down the pen. 

"It's easy to see that you think that Ellie, the medical researcher, is worth the public examination and critique. I don't envy you dinners at the White House and interacting with such people, Lena. I would intimidate the life out of me." Mathew confesses with blush and helpless shrugs. 

"I'm finding my way, I think. But I don't dare go up against them when it comes to trivia or board game night. The reputation of the Bartlet intellectualism is well earned. The main thing is that Ellie finds me accept for the most part. 

"I mean it, Lena. They won't hear a bad word about you from me, no matter how hard they dig or if they offer to pay off my mortgage. Some things are more important than money. Grandma Miller's ghost will haunt me for the rest of time if I hurt you. Thank you for looking out for us. Phone me if you learn anything else." Mathew offers before signalling for the bill. 

***

"How did it go, Darling?" 

Ellie Bartlet springs up from the coach and discards the book she is pretending to read. It took everything within her not to check her phone every few seconds. She knows that Helena isn't a casual texter and would wait to speak to her in person with a conversation so important. The wait felt impossibly long, and doubts were always at the corner of Ellie's mind. Was she asking Helena to do too much too fast? Is disrupting her life like this entirely fair, when Ellie doesn't even know how she comfortably identifies. 

"Well, you will need to change my name in your contacts. Miller was the name of convenience, his family and mine. My median and second middle name is Ahmed, for future or public reference, not that it will come through right away." Helena is rambling nervously. 

"Well okay than, I think that will be important for some secret service file or something, but right now I want to know how you are doing?" Ellie asks again gently. 

Helena comes over and pulls Ellie into a fierce hug. Her body is stiff with tension and stress. They stand there for long moments, Ellie trying to ease out the tension she finds there. Helena doesn't respond to the question until they are on the couch. Her long limbs fold and collapse against the cushion. Ellie wonders if she should have held off asking until the following day. Helena isn't somebody who likes to avoid weighty issues. If anything, she frustrates her girlfriend by being so direct and insisting on confronting problems head-on. 

"Mathew is as wonderful as he always was, far more understanding than my younger, arrogant self deserved. There was a strange sense of nostalgia in seeing him again, even though our lives couldn't be more different. The ghosts of the past still linger, as it should be for a connection like marriage." Helena muses almost absently to herself. 

"I am sorry that our relationship requires you to do such emotional and challenging things, Helena. Even the most amicable ex relationships can struggle under the glare of both public and media spotlight. What can I do to make things easier for you?" Ellie almost pleads for an activity. 

"Shall we watch a movie or two and discuss what you are going to say to the reporter when he does the profile. We can't put off the details and particulars for too much longer." Helena points out after a long moment 

"Do you want Audrey or Katherine tonight? or take our chances with cable?" Ellie asks as she pulls Helena towards the coach. 

“You choose.”


	20. NHI Grant Rounds

_ "There are two things we should always be 1. raw and 2. ready. When you are raw, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realise that you are raw. Waiting for perfection is not an answer; one cannot say "I will be ready when I am perfect" because then you will never be ready, rather one must say, "I am raw, and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am."  _

_ ― C. JoyBell C. _

The photo remains in the desk draw, carefully hidden from public view or judgement. 

Bravery is not one of Eleanor Bartlet's virtues. Even in Sunday School, when they told of brave deeds in the bible, the stories only made Ellie worry about what happens next. Timidness is one of her defining features all through life, both personally and professionally. Many scientific fields filled her with wonder as a child; going into medicine was the safe path with her mother's protection. John Hopkins provides such a sense of safety and security that no other schools were an option. Rebelling with her choice of boyfriends was even a half-hearted thing; none of them went past a second or third date. Theo was an unfortunate exception to that rule; even he didn't try to go public for all his flaws. 

It shouldn't be this difficult to put up a photo of Helena on her desk. The lab is an area were the media cannot come, nor can anyone without a swipe card. Most people in her life, or at least the ones that matter, know of and like Helena. They are preparing to go public any day now. Still, placing a photograph feels like such a big step. The one from her graduation is out of date. There is nothing scandalous about the photo of them. 

"Hey, Ellie, whatever you are thinking about, it can't be that bad. It looks like we are getting the funding through!" Marco places a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

"I know that Marco. Don't mind me, just wool-gathering about life and the universe, do you need my help with the latest cycle?" Ellie asks, switching her attention back to the screen. 

"No, but we should run through more notes for the meeting for Dr Roy. How do you feel about our chances?" Marco asks, his voice rising. 

It is comforting to slip into work mode again and calm her thoughts. The photograph will stay in her bag for the next week or so. There is not a particular hurry, and it doesn't reflect the reality of their relationship. Eventually, they might get to the point where she and Helena are on the board behind the presidential desk. The notion is both daunting and exciting, especially when there are new ones with Annie and Gus. Maybe the next family birthday. 

***

"Hey Ellie, I just wanted to wish you luck for today. All the signs are positive, and you and Marco have done everything you can. Dr Foy is confident in your work." Helena says the second Ellie picks up the phone. 

"Oh, thank you, Lena. Dr Foy is finalising all the details before calling us in; in truth, I'm obsessing about something stupid." Ellie says as she paces the footpath next to the lab. 

"Dr Keyworth wouldn't approve of such a characterisation but tell me what is worrying you, Darling. It would be a shame to take the shine off a good day." Helena replies, her tone encouraging and light. 

Ellie is not one to take or make personal calls on lab time, but she makes an exception when doing nothing but obsessing and waiting for grant confirmation. Marco smiles and practically pushes her out the door. Somehow it is strangely comforting to have him aware of her relationship and supportive in such small ways. Sadly her workspace can't be a microcosm of coming out in general but feeling safe in a workspace is an important feature of her new life. 

"We have been dating for a little over a year now, right?" Ellie pivots by way of explanation. 

"Something like that, depending on how to characterise such things. Let's settle on an official date once everything becomes official, and my Mama expects joint Christmas cards." Helena jokes with an edge of laughter. 

"I should be able to put up a photograph of us at my desk. Nobody can get past the door without a card. Besides, it's hardly where all the excitement happens; why am I so fragile and obsessive about this?" Ellie asks, her voice sounding plaintive. 

"Because you work hard to be a rank and file employee and unofficially 'coming out' involves revealing personal information that you would rather avoid?" Helena summarises her voice, turning gentle. 

"How can I interview with Danny if such a simple thing is tripping me up?" Ellie asks. 

"It's too different issues, Ellie; one is the big fear of publicity. The other is taking a small step that will remind  _ you  _ of our relationship daily, not unlike the photo wall your Dad loves so much. Don't mix up the two situations. There is no need to pick a photo now." Helena explains, sounding like the teacher that she will become. 

"Mom will surely be fussing around the last family events; maybe we can get a shot then. I need to update my ones on the farm anyway, one where my hair is at least somewhat manageable. 

"There you go. Go and wait for word of your official assignment." Helena instructs. 

Ellie smiles as she hangs up the phone. One of the things she likes about being in a relationship where she isn't trying to rebel is the ease of conversation. The medical researcher wouldn't dream of confiding in Theo or giving him the chance to prove himself more than a troublemaker. Ellie knows she spent most of that particular relationship providing their dynamic. They were not good for each other and brought out bad traits, a familiar pattern. Things are a lot calmer with Helena, but Ellie supposes that is because she grounded within herself. 

***

"The latest NHI grants have come through. We can extend the projects and begin the series on women's health. Are you willing to be a researcher fellow for the next few years, Dr Bartlet?" 

"Yes, 100% I couldn't think of a better opportunity. There are so many projects I want to get started." Ellie beams and reaches out to take the contract. 

"I was rather hoping that you and Marco would say that, and I have already drawn up the specs for our study. The budget isn't as generous as we would like, but the fundamentals are there." Dr Foy says with a broad smile. 

Ellie Bartlet does her best appear neutral and calm when everything is in her is spinning. This meeting with Dr Lewis Foy reviews all her achievements and work to date, starting rolling over her control. At the same time, Ellie is confident that her work is up to standard. There is no sense in taking anything for granted. Dr Foy is one of the few people that wouldn't hesitate to fire the president's daughter if she wasn't up to standard. Her sessions with Stanley Keyworth are helping Ellie distinguish such nuances and find value in them. 

"When do you need us to start? Are there major differences from the original outline?" Ellie asks, feeling her body start to relax. 

Ellie listens to the study outline, with growing excitement and joy. This work extension is close to a dream offer and a logical step for a medical researcher. While she has a dream of studying overseas again, there are other factors to consider for once. Baltimore is a logical place to start to build a (possibly public) relationship with Helena.

She is making a connection with her father, mother and sisters. If Ellie becomes a wondering medical nomadic, it would be harder to keep up with her Dad's overwhelming schedule. Zoey is still recovering from the kidnapping too. Ellie is starting to reframe her relationship with the White House. Her family will go in different directions when her Dad leaves office; they won't be circulating in the same place regularly in the future. It is a good excuse to keep the connections going while it's available. Heck, Annie will be going to university for a few years. 

"I also updated your email with any new security procedures and work routines that you may need to run by the agents. There shouldn't be anything of major concern, but they are welcome to call my direct line if anything comes up." Dr Roy finishes as he moves to tidy everything up. 

"I bet these are the kind of days you enjoying calling every into the office."

"Much more than a regular audit and tax review, that's for sure. Go out to lunch and celebrate with Marco. The two of you have been working exceptionally hard." Dr Roy encourages. 

***

"Do you mind if Helena joins us for lunch?" Ellie asks, trying not to let her nervousness show. 

"Of course, if Faith wasn't pulling a double, we could double date. It'll be nice to see sunlight for a few hours. I can't wait to get going. We got the grant Ellie!" Marco pulls her into a fierce hug. 

Marco is her lab partner for this and the next two future studies; they are good friends who don't interact much outside work. They were both passionate about their science and talked for hours about different modelling. It is only recently that they start sharing details about their lives. It delights Ellie that he doesn't blink an eye when she shares her new relationship with a linguistics professor. Now she wants to give them the chance to meet. 

"Is Helena okay about staying near Baltimore or Washington? We are going to be living at John Hopkins for a while." Marco predicts as they pack up their laptops and gear for the day. 

"Fortunately, being linguistic is more transportable than working with viruses. Helena will be doing a few teaching rotations and interpreting in Washington, breaking in her new name paperwork; there are a few steps when you revert to an original name." Ellie explains as she uses her swipe card. 

"That's true. I think we will be spending our working lives in various labs and underground offices, with shiny, very, not portable equipment. Our significant others will be bringing us lunches at various intervals." Marco points out, hefting his book bag before taking off his reading glasses. 

"You wouldn't have it any other way, though, would you, my friend?" Ellie teases, bumping his shoulder affectionately. 

"You know I wouldn't. Let's go and get some lunch with your girl.  _ Dices  _ shake, and carb foods are calling my name." Marco almost swoons at the thought. 

"Come on then. Remember that we need to work this afternoon. There is no need to sample every single topping.  _ Dices  _ will be there next week and all through the study." Ellie cautions with a smile. 

They are not working in the most glamorous scientific field, which gets fictionalised heroes like the  _ CSI _ team. It is the opposite in most classes; many people are surprisingly puritan about any research or funding that involves sex or sexualities. Even Dr Abbey Bartlet worried about her daughter's career choice, but her objections were mainly around how hard and soul-wrenching it may be for her most sensitive child. Thankfully Ellie proves everyone wrong and thrives off the pressure and complexity. 

Marco got into the area because his family has a link with breast cancer and wants to contribute to medical innovations. Ellie spends her formative years listening to her mother advocating for a healthcare woman; it leaves an impression. The efforts with women in underserviced areas are particularly important, even under relatively conservative government branches. Ellie Bartlet can easily see herself working in this field and even in this town for the rest of her working life, even though that isn't the Bartlet tradition. 

***

"It's great to see you again, Professor Ahmed. It's great that you could celebrate with us." Marco enthuses. 

"You too, Marcus. Congratulations on the extension of your contract and the renewal of the funding. You and Ellie have some engaging projects ahead of you. Please, it’s Helena. Still getting used to the new/old name." Helena insists gently. 

"It's hard to remember that when you are responsible for giving my run of B+ at this school. Not that the grade wasn't fair or well explained." Marco hastens to add. 

The three academics meet in the local campus cafe that specialises in loaded nachos with many toppings. Helena insists on shouting them lunch and desert as a celebration for this new achievement. Ellie enjoys the novelty of watching her two worlds come together. Her last few efforts at introducing people she is dating to workmates did not go well. Helena tends to take everything in stride. Marco is all too eager to talk about plans and studies. 

"You did a creditable job for somebody whose interests and skills lay elsewhere. From memory, your arguments were reasonable and engaging, respectful of a topic that held zero interest." Helena shrugs her shoulders casually. 

"I wouldn't say zero interest." Marco starts to defend himself quickly. 

"Don't bother Marco. Helena is well aware that Applied Linguistics does not hold an intrinsic appeal to people studying viral modelling and loading. Although she had me at 'there are many nuances to modern translation.' Ellie says before reaching over to grab another nacho.

"I think there is a universal language of academic enthusiasm that binds people together. My parents find plenty of common ground as a nurse and a corporate tax attorney. I did appreciate what you brought to the topic, Helena." Marco says with a genuine smile. 

"Maybe I will incorporate that into an anniversary card or something, two people that speak the common language of academics from two different angles. There won't be a huge market, but I can see the appeal." Helena starts doodling on the napkin. 

"The Language of Healing?" Marco agrees enthusiastically. 

Ellie listens as her girlfriend and friend lightly debate and critique the comparative merits of different teaching styles; Helena will be offering both introductory and advanced causes in the next term, both in Applied Linguistics and Translation at several Baltimore universities. She likes hearing from former students to informants and shapes the practice; Ellie knows she wants to contrast how people with different majors approach the task. 

Stanley Keyworth has a point when he claims that sometimes people can surprise you in the best ways. It pleases Ellie to report efforts to be more social and break out of the endless routine of work, home and avoiding the White House. The different aspects of her identity are coming together easily. 

***

They are not in a field that has many emergencies or unexpected curveballs. 

Despite her data disaster that led to meeting Helena, Ellie appreciates the day's slow and predictable pace at the office. The experience of loading and following numbers is such a start contrast to being a Bartlet daughter. She likes the feeling of slipping into the anonymity of the databases and outputs. Young medical researchers do not have a high profile in and of themselves. Unlike Liz, Ellie has zero desire to have a public job or to invite media attention. 

Ellie blinks in surprise when she realises that Dr Lewis is pacing on the phone. The team was due to meet and start writing the new lab technicians' recruitment and support staff. Riding the wave of momentum from getting the approval, Ellie is finalising her shortlist. It's unlike Dr Lewis to take phone calls in the middle of the day. Unless it is a point of controversy or a conservative outlet is questioning his work or subject matter. There is the odd drop out debates, but generally, her boss keeps things calm. 

"Ellie, he needs you," there is a strange tension in Marco's voice. 

Ellie feels a new level of tension coil in her stomach. She regrets both having so many nachos and not taking Helena up on her offer to pick her up from the office. Whatever the news is, Ellie has a horrible feeling that involves her family. As security precision, the president's daughter needs to stay out of potential controversies, being a relative anonymous medical researcher who doesn't have a public profile. If Dr Roy needs her specifically, then something is wrong. She tries to breathe evenly as she jogs across the lab, but her lab coat suddenly feels heavy. 

"The Congresswoman from Tennessee is asking questions about the latest grant allocation. She sits on multiple boards and is a frequent critic, but there is something off about this request; her interns were edgy. They were asking about a specific study list. The inference about sex work and morality wasn't far away. This conversation was perfectly polite and civil, but my guess we are looking at a warning shot." Dr Lewis sounds furious, but he is hiding it well. 

"How did they find out so fast, and what could they possibly want with you?" Ellie struggles to keep the panic from her voice. 

"I know you hate any intersection between your work and the White House, but we are going to have to report this interaction. If Traditional Values or anyone else is going to start slinging arrows, we will need reinforcements, or it could be an entirely innocent round of scientists working in women's health. Callouts looking to build advisory panels happen at this time of year." Dr Foy offers an engaging smile. 

"Okay, I'm sorry about this, they wouldn't be on the trail if..." Ellie starts to wring her hands, nervously. 

"Don't start that, Ellie. You are a valuable employee, and I've got through worse inquires than this, go home for the day and work on calculations. I'll call if there are any more details." Dr Foy insists his voice uncharacteristically stern. 

"Okay, I'll email the datasets to you first thing in the morning." Ellie promises, taking a shaking breath. 

"Don't push yourself too hard, Ellie. Everything will be here later in the week. It's going to be alright." Dr Foy insists, reaching out to squeeze Ellie's hand. 

Ellie tries to keep her hands from shaking when she rushes back to her desk to collect everything. It takes longer than usual because working from home might take longer than usual. Political survival instincts are saying that this might take longer than a few days. The last thing she wants to do is renew the media's interest in her work, not when her personal life might be on display in a few weeks. Dr Lewis Foy is confident in his position as the face of the research lab and the HPV work. He speaks to politicians with interest in virus regularly. It is better to focus on the work waiting for completion than worrying about things she can't control. Marco is waiting for her at the door; he reaches out and gives Ellie a fierce hug. 

"Helena is waiting in the car park. Your agents will drive you home." Marco whispers in her ear. 


	21. The Dolphin in The Dragnet I

_"To compose our character is our duty, not to compose books, and to win, not battles and provinces, but order and tranquility in our conduct. Our great and glorious masterpiece is to live appropriately. All other things, ruling, hoarding, building, are only little appendages and props, at most."_

_― Michel de Montaigne_

Dr Eleanor Bartlet has nightmares about a public outing.

When she first realised, in any meaningful way, that she feels an attraction to other girls and woman, publicity was top of the fear list; from what she reads about LGBT stories that this is a familiar experience for many. Sadly, there are plenty of spaces where being gay were not safe. Unfortunately for Ellie, the notion of a 'public outing' reaches a whole new dimension. Even under the best conditions, where Amy and CJ are in control, she faces considerable judgment and speculation. The adoration for her family and father, in particular, is terrifying. 

"Dr Bartlet, there is press circling the block. We need to get you into the car and to a secure location. Please leave everything here. An agent will collect your belongings shortly." Agent Jones comes into her home office; his earpiece is chattering quietly. 

Ellie drops the pen she using to scribble calculation about her latest theory. A familiar surge of adrenaline and fear hit her system; all Dr Keyworth exercises for calmness drain away under such pressure. Somehow, she thought this minor issue with Dr Foy might slip away if she follows instructions or, better yet, that the conservative senator wasn't targeting her at all. The faint hope is naive considering how hostile the Republican branches of the government are, ever since the MS scandal. Ellie struggles not to panic as she moves automatically, following the directions of the team. 

"What about Helena? Somebody may have leaked her name to the media." Ellie freezes and whirls to face her lead agent. 

"Two of my agents are already on the way to intercept her after class. Fortunately, her teaching load is light today. We will meet up with them at the residence. There will be several reporters on our way,” the agent warns. 

Ellie feels her slip into something of a shock as she follows their instructions. She was wincing as her work is left undone on the desk. They bundle her out the backdoor, where one of the featureless security cars are waiting. Ellie keeps her head down and studiously ignores the sudden wave of noise, faces and questions. They aren't surging the vehicle, which is a small miracle, but it is only a matter of time. Ellie is grateful that she is learning to cooperate with the Secret Service; she knows what to expect and how to function. Her dad is going to lose the plot and will be screaming at anyone in range. 

_"Eleanor, are you working on any of the projects in the Senator's List?" one yells over the din._

_"Do you think it is right for the president's daughter to have any involvement with such controversial topics. Like sex work?" several voices echo the same question._

_"Did you call in any favours to get such a high-profile assignment with Dr Foy?" the question makes Ellie cringe in embarrassment and pain._

_"Did you talk to your father about funding this latest study, Dr Bartlet?" one reporter gets uncomfortably close._

Ellie bundles herself into the backset, fruitlessly trying to cover herself under the scarf and jacket. Fortunately, the agents don't have to drive her far, but the speed and stretching are still sickening. Ellie focuses on keeping breathing even and resist the urge to throw up. Her mind is lurching between current fear and flashbacks to both the shooting with her father and Zoey's kidnapping. 

***

"Helena, are you okay? Where are you?" 

Ellie realises that she is yelling into the secure phone, but she can't help it. The ride from her apartment to Washington has never seen so long. Helena is about 10 or 20 minutes further out. Ellie's brain can't quite remember the exact nature of her schedule right now. Her thoughts are racing about the paparazzi ambushing her girlfriend or the family, asking intrusive questions. 

"I am fine, Ellie. The agents were extremely quiet and discrete; there was very little attention on campus. Occasionally translation does require diplomatic challenges. It's unlikely that the media hordes have made a direct connection between us. I'll be there about 10 to 15 minutes after you, depending on how many speeding laws Oskar is willing to break." Helena says before hanging up quickly. 

"I love you, Lena." Ellie says quietly into the dial tone. 

Ellie fights the impulse to call her father and pick a useless fight. These situations are the perfect trigger point for the family fault. Her parents thrive on the drama and spend of a political landscape. Ellie hates the disruption to her quiet everyday life. If either of them suggests that they do a public speech, it could be all out for a drag-out brawl. 

"Dr Bartlet, we will be there shortly, but there may be several obstacles in our way. There aren't any press actively pursuing the car, which is a good sign. We won't need to take evasive maneuvers. The First Lady and your sisters are making their way to the location as well." the agent dutifully reports without looking up from his driving. 

Ellie sinks back into the seat and concentrates on not letting the memories overwhelm her. Fortunately, she hasn't been at the centre of too many White House dramas, but they never get any easier to deal with, no matter the intensity. Dr Keyworth is right when he talks about needing to prepare and nature the two sides of her private and official reality. The one thing that still doesn't make sense this far into the therapy cycle is how to accept one without permanently altering the experience of the other. 

"Please, don't open the window, Dr Bartlet. There are security measures,” the agent calls sharply. 

It takes Ellie a moment to realise that she is flicking with the widow switch. It's an absent movement trying to get some air and having something to do with her hands. 

**

"Ellie, everything is going to be okay. Your father and staff are handling things."

"You don't need to act as the welcoming committee, Mom. Dad and I aren't going to yell at each other. The most important thing is to keep Dr Foy out of the crossfire of whatever fight Dad is having with the Senate. I'm going to sit with my laptop and finish the reports." Ellie declares as she ties her scarf and leans down to her mother's check. 

"I don't think it is going to be that simple, Ellie. We don't know the particulars, but you may likely need to make a statement and defend your work and the lab." Abbey warns, gently pulling her daughter in for a hug. 

Ellie internally groans but allows the contact. Her mother is an excellent physician, but she is an ever-better health educator. Abbey Bartlet fits rather seamlessly into the role of First Lady and public policy. Ellie counts her mother as the centre of her universe, but she knows that Abbey doesn't truly understand her shyness. Family peace will depend on their ability to navigate these new waters. Ellie can already feel her insecure defensives starting to rise, and they aren't even in the building. 

"Let's get through one day at a time; you know that the cycle will act fast enough for both of us. I need somewhere to point this nervous energy, since Agent Foster controlled everything so far. " Ellie says grimly before making the progression forward. 

Ellie tries not to wince when she listens to her father's loud voice echoing from the Oval Office. The guards naturally remain impassive, but several aides are racing around the pillars and outer space. Her mother remains a steady presence at her side, not so subtly preventing her from running away. While she would have tried no so long ago, but things are more practical now. For once thing, the agents are ready on high alert. Ellie focuses on taking deep breaths and squaring her shoulders. This space will always feel foreign, but it will be a familiar sight for the next three years. 

"Dad, I'm so sorry about this, what can I do?" Ellie sweeps into the Oval Office. 

The President stops his rant mid-word and turns to Ellie, pulling her into a fierce hug. For an instant, Ellie forgets about all the conflicts between them and talks comfort from the gesture. The staff in the room to their best to look away respectfully to give them a sense of privacy. Of course, Ellie is acutely aware that these people most likely know more about the situation than she does and is working through many solutions. CJ, in particular, looks like she wants to say something when their eyes meet briefly. 

"We are going get to the bottom of this, I promise." Jed whispers fiercely.

"I am more worried about the pressure on Helena and her family. It is not the same as the familiar Bartlet rollercoaster." Ellie confesses before squeezing firmly. 

Jed brings Ellie further into the room, shepherding her through the small crowd of advisors, for once acting like any other father worth their salt. Ellie doesn't feel too self-conscious when her parents start strategising about how to change the situation. Unconditional love is at its finest. She hopes that Helena will be here soon to offer a counterbalance for the anxiety. 

***

"I am here, Ellie. Everything is okay." 

Ellie is normally self-conscious about any personal displays at the White House; it's one of the reasons she struggles to visit or be on the campaign. She always freezes in such public spaces. However, right now is the exception to the rule. Helena looks slightly harried, and her hair is out of its usual, neat braid or bun. The agents sink out of site and Ellie comes to stand beside Ellie, opening her arms for a welcoming hug. Ellie sinks and clings together, taking solace in the familiar sensation. 

"Are you okay, Professor? I know that the media are a whirl wind." Jed says with genuine sympathy. 

"I am doing okay so far, Sir. The agents were extremely respectful and efficient. To the best of my knowledge, nobody was seeking to make the connection. It was an average day at work, preparing for the next semester of teaching." Helena works to keep her voice calm. 

Ellie is grateful that her father has enough respect to stay back and doesn't dominate his office, which is his right. Helena wraps her arms around Ellie's shoulder and leads them to the coach, sparing a brief smile for the staff. Ellie doesn't realise how much tension she is holding until Helena's solid presence stops her thoughts from spiraling too much further. 

"Well, get to the source of this commotion and see if we need to involve your family or colleagues to any degree. Ellie's detail will extend their protection to you until we have a better sense of how everything will play out. It will be safer if you both stay for the time being." Jed Bartlet has the sense to sound apologetic and not like a commander in chief. 

"I am confident that is dealing with attacks from conservative politicians is your area of expertise, Sir. I am happy to defer to the collective knowledge in the room. May I speak to my parents? They will worry when they see Ellie's footage on the news. I have been the subject of a few global communication blackouts. Going up against my Mom did not end well for the Interpol agents or the various embassies." Helena explains sheepishly. 

"Overprotectiveness is the right of any parent, no matter how many grey hairs or decades they collect. We will arrange that for you in the next hour." Jed turns to an assistant who races to carry out the instructions. 

Ellie feels a wave of gratitude for her father at that moment; she never truly doubted he would accept her being bisexual. Still, she knows the news worries him both as a Catholic parent and politician, especially a moderate one. He could have jumped through hoops to acknowledge but only in private or with conditions, the path that too many conservatives take. Instead, Jed Bartlet is activating the entire mechanism of the administration to protect her lover. 

***

"The original list comes from a website whose alternative page is 'God Hates Gays. There is plenty of other conservative material, but that is the most prominent." Rania says quietly, holding the paper out nervously. 

The room goes eerily silent for a long moment. Helena flinches back and goes pale before glancing between the advisors. Jed Bartlet looks like he is getting ready to scream at the next person who breaks the silence. There are other words and statements, but everything drifts in and out after that. Helena reaches out and grabs her hand, interlinking their fingers to stop the trembling. Ellie feels herself start to feel faint, but she resolves not to escape into a panic; she needs to be aware of everything going on. 

"I think we are talking about a dolphin in the dragnet situation." Amy comments from the back of the room. 

"I am not in the mood for you metaphor love affairs, Amy. What are you trying to stay? How does this relate to me striking the conservative crank that this targeting our daughter." Jed says, gesturing impatiently for the woman to continue. 

"That's the whole point, Sir. Even the most conservative strategist would think twice about attacking the other side's children, especially over such a personal issue. It would be asking for trouble on multiple levels, for little reward. It makes no sense to risk alienation for their next round of political agenda." Amy continues walking further into the room, warming to the subject. 

"You think that this garbage doesn't involve Ellie directly?" Abbey asks, hopefully. 

"Oh, it does, but they were planning a typical smear job about liberal values, wastage and the odd bit of nepotism. No way expected to bring Ellie's relationship into the equation, not that it matters, of course." Amy adds, hastily holding up her hands. 

"If it's any consolation, my ex-wife is trying to figure out a way to raise the national guard to invade North Carolina; there are whiteboards and interns involved, I left before the talked turned to mounting a viable challenger," Toby says as he sweeps into the room. 

"Please, don't let Andi violate any federal or states laws on my account; she does have a primary to consider. She does remember that she isn't a member of the Senate, and thus has little authority, right?" Helena warns, laughing at the mental image. 

"You are forgetting a few salient points a) you are a member of Andy's team, thus under her protection b) my ex-wife prides herself on being an ally on the issues c) she is spoiling for a fight with hard-line conservative. You better believe that she is taking over an office and building up a battle plan. God only knows if we will have 50 States in the Union by the time she is through." Toby says with a mixture of exasperation and affection. 

Helena looks up with a genuine if weak smiles on her face for the first time in a while. The White House staff are pacing around the room, trying to strategize. If she checks her phone, there will be 10 or 20 messages form the Congresswoman in question. Andy and the twins will likely be somewhere near Dupont circle because anybody thinks to stop her. There are so many high emotions in play at the moment on all sides. You couldn't call Andy a calming influence, but she is decisive about making decisions.

"I have about 500 lawyers on staff at any given time; I can think of no greater cause than bailing Congresswomen Wyatt out any predicament; I could call in Fitz to help too. I always liked your wife, Toby. Huck and Molly are lucky children." Jed says with true appreciation in his voice. 

"Yes, Sir." Toby agrees sensible enough to concede readily. 

"Please, Sir let’s not advocate for hostile actions against members of our own government. We have already pushed our luck with special council investigations." CJ wants a plaintive plea in her voice. 

"I will burn all my political capital and cross-aisle cooperation to the ground, CJ, if we prove a link between the Senate and these lunatics coming after my daughter. Andy will be the least of your problems when I'm through. Jed Bartlet, the plodding moderate that Ashland hates so much, will be a distant memory." Jed Bartlet threatens, waving his hand, empathising. 

"Yes Sir." CJ says with a resigned sigh. 

***

"If you feel like yelling at me about not staying a popular economics professor, go right ahead." 

Ellie looks up at her father and resists the urge to yell at him, still finding it unbelievable that she competes for everyone's attention with the actual Muppets and Big Bird. Her life is falling apart, against the backdrop of a deadline, is just on the issue on a list. 

"You would have been hopeless at being an ordinary anything, Dad. Besides, if it weren't you, Abbey Bartlet would have been the superstar in the family, complete with surgeries to her name. Helena and I will bunk here until we come up with a plan. I have enough work to keep going till next scandal." Ellie says, gesturing to her computer. 

"Your mother already is the superstar in the family; I have a slightly fancier job description. I'll let the fact Helena hasn't gone through my interrogation dinner, exceptional circumstances." Jed says lovingly, leaning down and pressing a kiss against her forehead. 

"She promises to present with 300 hundred years of her family tree and prospective if it would be a selling point. If she is still willing to be around the White House madness." Ellie says gloomily. 

"Helena sounds like the kind of person who will appreciate my National Park Slide Collection or at least not fake it like the rest of you." Jed says he moves to the other side of the room. 

"Something like that." Ellie agrees firmly. 

Ellie isn't sure if she has faith in the West Wing staff to sort this entirely. Amy Gardner may believe that she and Helena are 'Dolphins in Dragnets', but that doesn't mean the political consequences won't be painful and heart breaking. Ellie is going to develop more courage and face the public one way or anything. Ellie is confident that she and Helena have done their best to prepare for reality, even if there is no such thing as an ideal moment. In a way, she is getting sick of this bubble, and if she is going to spend more time in Washington, she wants the woman she loves at her side. 

"I can't exist in limbo anymore, can I? There is no more room to negotiate for more time or find the perfect interview stage. Even in the best-case scenario, they aren't going to forget about me and the link to Dr Foy." Ellie asks, her voice soft but serious. 

"I _hate_ the idea that this arrogant shrew, whose viewpoint on the Bible hasn't evolved since the 17th century, has a hand in forcing you to do anything. The Senator from North Carolina doesn't deserve the title, much less power of your life decision. Sweetheart, if it isn't her or this situation, it will be someone or something else. At least we have a small widow of time." Jed says, burying his hands in his pockets in such a familiar way. 

"Or so Amy Gardner thinks, but then again, Mom's chief of the staff probably thinks she can harness the moon. Thank you for being a more understanding kind of Christian. I know that Grandfather Bartlet did not present that option growing up." Ellie says, carefully approaching the topic. 

"No, he did not. Fortunately, my faith in God was my own, long before those clashes and your mother build everything else. A relationship with God has fundamentals, but such things also need to involve societal structures. Abbey wouldn't marry me if I were to display a tenth of such bigotry and narrow mindedness. It's time for me to prove such things beyond the abstract." Jed says, coming over to stand beside his daughter. 

"You were never close falling into the same pattern as Grandfather, Dad. Even at our worst, I know that being a powerful leader's shy daughter is worlds away from what you experienced." Ellie says, leaning against him. 

"There were close calls for a while there, but the fact you can say that is a testament that Stanley Keyworth is right about my progress. You are going to take the lead on this, Eleanor. I will be with you 100%, however you wish to present your reality and relationship. I love you, Ellie." Jed kisses her forehead. 


End file.
